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    No, you can't have one

    Going bananas: 23 monkeys are running loose in Waller; wild wildfire escapeestormenting cops

    Fayza A. Elmostehi
    Sep 13, 2011 | 11:19 am
    • "Planet of the Apes" has nothing on Waller County.
    • Waller County, guard your bananas.

    While the wildfires just north of Houston continue to fluctuate between containment and rage, some of the inhabitants of Waller County are going a little bananas.

    After all, they are monkeys.

    Yes, you heard us correctly. Word in the forest is that one of the ravaged county's residents had illegally housed 23 primates, which, with the onset of the fiery catastrophes, were either voluntarily or involuntarily released into the wild.

    But since this is the fourth-largest city in the United States, you simply can't have monkeys running wild across the metropolitan area, Planet of the Apes-style.

    So authorities were called in to capture the critters, and that's when the real monkey business began.

    "One bit [an unidentified official]," said James Jackson, a volunteer from Houston assisting with wildfire management efforts. "Another scratched a cop, stole his phone, took the battery off and started to bite it."

    You know, we don't really want to believe that primates view their fellow DNA-sharers as paltry playthings. But we suppose we can't blame them for running amuck amidst the chaos of wildfire.

    "Residents aren't allowed back in yet," Jackson said. "Monkeys are being spotted around the high lines on FM 1488. I heard that Texas Parks and Wildlife is out there investigating."

    As of now, there are no reports on whether or not any of the animals have been captured. Most of the monkeys on the loose are believed to be Rhesus monkeys, known for their distinctive pink faces.

    It's a zoo out there, folks. So even if you really, really want to, we'd guess that officials are recommending you don't head up to Waller County to acquire a new primate pet any time soon.

    And keep your banana bushels well-guarded.

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    Flood Relief News

    Houston company gives back with free cleanings for Hill County families

    Natalie Grigson
    Jul 15, 2025 | 4:34 pm
    Cotton Holdings restoration team
    Photo courtesy of Cotton Holdings
    Cotton Holdings Restoration Station team helping residents in Central Texas.

    Cotton Holdings, a Houston-based disaster relief company, has been on the ground daily in Central Texas since the July 4 floods, clearing debris and cleaning up spaces. The company has deployed two "Restoration Station" vans, fully equipped with cleaning teams and professional-grade supplies, to help people recover and preserve their belongings.

    For residents of Kerrville, Hunt, and Comfort, this service is being offered free of charge through July 19.

    Residents in these areas can schedule a free two-hour appointment to have family heirlooms, jewelry, collectibles, or other keepsakes and valuables that may have been damaged by the floods professionally cleaned and restored.

    The website notes that Cotton Holdings is currently only accepting "hard, nonporous items," and recommends throwing away soft belongings that were damaged in the floods. Some of the items they'll accept include:

    • Wood furniture
    • Sculptures
    • Mirrors
    • Jewelry
    • Dinnerware
    • Musical instruments
    • TVs
    • Gaming devices

     Cotton Holdings item cleaning Most items can be cleaned within 15 minutes, a press release says.Photo courtesy of Cotton Holdings

    Each home visit includes two hours of cleaning, plus a dedicated team member to offer emotional support, according to a press release.

    "This effort aims to preserve treasured memories and renew hope within the community during this challenging time," says the release.

    Aside from its work in Central Texas, Cotton Holdings has been at the forefront of disaster relief across the country since its founding in 1996. They've recently helped residents in the California wildfires and in Asheville, North Carolina, post-Hurricane Helene.

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