This week's Pethouse Pet of the Week sheds some light on local TV reporters, the Atlanta Falcons and Chick-fil-A, the U.S. Open, and WWE wrestling.
Pethouse Pet of the Week
Name: Bailey, as in Beetle, "Won't you come home Bill ...," the news reporter on '70s/'80s TV show WKRP in Cincinnati, and Barnum & …
Ethnicity: I’m a girlie girl Border Collie and Goldie mix. I tip the scales at 65 pounds, which means I’m proportional – not a fashion model or, as they say on home shopping fashion shows, “extra beautiful.”
Birthdate: April 30, 2014.
Come and get me: I'm available for adoption at 11 am Friday at Citizens for Animal Protection (17555 Katy Freeway; 281-497-0591). Tell them, "Ken sent me."
Bailey’s brainstorms
Last week, I witnessed the greatest threat to the First Amendment, specifically freedom of the press, possible ever in this country. No, I’m not talking about President Trump going after CNN, I’m talking something way more sinister and dangerous. I was watching the Houston Texans game and, I still shudder, a Texans wide receiver ran smack into Houston Chronicle photographer Karen Warren in the end zone. Karen suffered a bump on her noggin. The way I see it … if a Texan receiver can accidentally bump Karen Warren at NRG Stadium, what’s to prevent a politician from shutting down the New York Times and sending its publisher to prison? Okay, maybe it’s an overreaction.
In the news
I know I’ve poked fun at our local TV reporters in the past, but this week I come to praise them. I had no idea they were so versatile. Who would have thought they could outlandishly overhype a non-event eclipse with the same hysteria as when a hurricane doesn’t come anywhere close to Houston?
Hold the chicken
The Atlanta Falcons' new trillion-dollar stadium will boast a state of the art Chick-fil-A. This makes perfect sense, since the chicken sandwich company is based in Atlanta. Well, except for one small detail. Chick-fil-A isn’t open on Sunday, when the Falcons play most of their games. It’s Chick-fil-A corporate policy to close on Sunday, so employees can spend time with their families or worship or whatever, and they aren’t changing the policy for some silly football game.
Sports talk
The U.S. Open tennis tournament starts next week and here are my picks: as usual, I’m going with Roger Federer on the men’s side. Here’s my upset pick for the women: Maria Sharapova. Maria is a longshot because she’s coming off an injury, plus most of the other women players despise her. If Sharapova withdraws for any reason, then give me Simona Halep.
Speaking of elite female athletes, Miranda Salinas is one of the wrestlers competing in the first Mae Young Classic, beginning next week on the WWE Network. Salinas, who does most her grappling for Booker T’s Reality of Wrestling promotion in Texas City, attended Reagan and Davis High Schools in Houston.
Mickey D's
Finally, hats off to McDonald’s for attentively listening to its customers and taking their suggestions seriously. Last week, my buddy Reg "Third Degree" Burns sent an email to McDonald's, asking if they were going to put onion strings on their permanent menu. Legit question. Here, in its entirety, is McDonald's response:
Hello Reginald:
Thank you for contacting McDonald's about our great tasting French fries. We always enjoy hearing from our fry fans! The potatoes we use for our World Famous Fries are made from varieties including Russet Burbank, Ranger Russet, Umatilla Russet, and the Shepody. The suppliers we work with first peel, cut, and blanch the potatoes. They then dry, partially fry, and flash freeze the fries for our restaurants. Once in our kitchens, we cook them in our canola blend oil so you can have them crispy and hot — just the way you like them. We hope to serve you our hot and crispy fries soon! See you under the Golden Arches!
- Sara, Customer Satisfaction Representative
This week's Pethouse Pet of the Week is Bailey, as in Barnum & …
