Letter from Lois
Vote for the slutty saboteur! Corpse Flower Lois pushes winning little sisternames
Jul 21, 2011 | 5:32 pm
Let me start by saying, "Thank you," to all of my fans who submitted more than 1,500 potential names for my baby sibling. The breadth of the results was staggering. There were a few beautiful monikers, such as Ava, Steven and Xochiquetzal, as well as a fair share of duds (Butterfly McStink, Ivanna Stinks-a-lot, Worth the Wait).
I submitted my favs, and after my staff at the Houston Museum of Natural Sciences weighed in, we conjured a handful of the best submissions for the public to vote upon.
Now, I've consulted with my astrologist and in-house team of tastemakers to construct this pros-and-cons diagram for each candidate:
- Pro: It's a pretty name, and pays tribute to my on-again-off-again frenemy.
- Con: Last summer's theatrics are over. Let's move on.
- Pro: My fans seem to like it . . . not me though.
- Con: As I already explained in my first column, pairing "Lois and Clark" is incredibly trite. We're an original family — delicate flowers, not a superhero couple. Please.
- Pro: Historic relation to a biblical character — a beautiful temptress who has inspired myriad European masterworks.
- Con: Reputation as a slut with a keen eye for sabotage. Sounds like the typical little sister to me.
- Pro: It's a tribute to Hermann Park and its own namesake, George H. Hermann. I love a quality homage, and the extra "n" looks fancy. And you know I love fancy.
- Con: I can't stop thinking of Pee Wee Herman. And now you probably can't either. Sorry.
- Pro: Simple and plainly refers to our distinctive hue (we're violet, not purple, for the record). Plus, when she blooms, we can make plenty of "You're turning violet, Violet!" jokes.
- Con: Violet was the consistently snobby character in Peanuts. Actually, I like that. Pro!
Now's your chance to put in your two cents. Click here to vote on Facebook, and then you can vote a second time via Twitter by tweeting with the tag #corpseflowerAudrey, #corpseflowerCLARK, #corpseflowerDelilah, #corpseflowerHermann or #corpseflowerViolet. And in case you'd like a third avenue to cast a ballot, take the unofficial, but highly influential poll on CultureMap.
The community-selected name will be announced Monday.