Home and Deranged

Toasting out-of-towners: How I fell back in love with Texas

We grabbed a free spot on the floor of St. Arnold's and made fast friends.
Photo by Caroline Gallay
We soon realized this would be less of a "tour" and more of a "drink beer at apicnic table" kind of affair.
Photo by Caroline Gallay
Nothing beats greasy rodeo food.
There's nothing like a Texas sky — I took this just after I crossed the borderon my move home.
Photo by Caroline Gallay
I'm thinking of buying an anniversary present for myself, celebrating one yearof Texas living.

Recently, I had the pleasure of squiring some first-timers around my fine state, and I didn't realize just how fond I am of the place and the people until I heard myself gush.

Night One: I figured I’d give my farthest traveler a taste of Austin and made her come straight from the airport for a drink at Cedar Creek. She was impressed (I think) by the sheer size of the Thursday-night crowd and with their propensity for shots on a work night. Apparently St. Louis happy hours are more low-key.

She wanted to see my high school, but it was dark and I didn’t think nightfall could do the storied cloisters of St. John's justice, so I took her to Lizzard’s Pub instead. (Close enough.)

We sampled more Texas beers and ended the night, like so many others, at Whataburger. Keeping in the high school vein, I pointed out Pumpkin Park (the site of a great many high school "formals") and opted to drive thru the Westheimer location where we used to meet and make Whatacocktails pre-house party.

The out-of-towner tried to order a burger at Whataburger (absurd) and it was explained that the only options were a taquito (which is not really a taquito, she noted), chicken fingers or a honey butter chicken biscuit. I guess the name is kind of misleading.

Day Two: Under advisement from one of the Lizzard’s bartenders, we headed to Saint Arnold for a brewery tour, where we quickly learned that this weekend event is not so much a “tour” as community drinking at long picnic tables, on the floor or in lawn chairs. We were utterly unprepared. Whereas others had blankets, crock pots, and entire picnic spreads, we found a spot near one of the columns and had a pizza delivered. It was all a smidge more laid back than the Budweiser Brewery.

We caught the attention of a few friendly male onlookers (my friends are very pretty) and when the day drinkers were finally kicked out of Saint Arnold, a 15-minute wait behind a train gave us opportunity to recruit our new friends back to the patio of Cedar Creek. We invited everyone, shouting phone numbers and directions out of moving-car windows as we tore through downtown.

My guests were surprised when they all showed up, but I wasn't. This is Texas! We'd just need more chairs.

Then it was off to get my friends their first taste of oysters. I know there are some terrific raw bars in town, but I like to support the Gulf Coast guys. So I brought the group to Goode Company Seafood, where we did some major economic stimulation with an array of appetizers — "Two campechanas, three-dozen oysters and three orders of empanadas, please. And no, you can’t order fried fish."

We hit Washington Avenue for flirting, dancing, and pictures in front of the skyline and my more northern friends thanked their lucky wallets they were in Texas, where boys open doors, give you their jackets and pay for your drinks.

A few days later one of my favorite transplants had her sisters in from Ann Arbor, Mich., and I got to witness their first rodeo. The candied nuts? Enchanting! The Mutton Bustin’? Hysterical! And the outfits? Why hadn’t anyone told them?! They were beside themselves with the size and scope of the affair: The animals, the rides, the sausage-on-a-stick and how many Tim McGraw songs they actually recognized.

After five days of showing first-timers around, I started to remember what compelled me to snap that picture of the Texas sky when I first crossed the border on my (then unwelcome) move back.

I’m coming up on my first anniversary of Texas living, and I almost want to send flowers — I'm just not sure where to address them. Maybe I'll buy myself a little memento to mark the occasion instead. I've got my eye on Maya Brenner's Texas pendant.

Either way, you'll find me that day on a patio somewhere with a Pearl.

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the OG's big 5-0

Houston's icon Bun B toasts the big 5-0 in trill and star-studded surprise birthday bash

Bun B 50th birthday Contemporary Arts Museum Houston

Photo by Marco Torres/Marco from Houston

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Be it wicked rhymes, his smash Trill Burgers, headlining RodeoHouston, emceeing the Tastemaker Awards, leading peaceful downtown marches, or quiet charity, Houston rap icon Bun B has always given to Houston.

On Sunday, March 19, it was time for Houston to give back.

Anyone keeping score could easily call the last 12 months "The Year of Bun B," as he headlined another RodeoHouston Takeover, won Best Burger in America on Good Morning America, and is set to open his first Trill Burgers restaurant in Montrose. So it's fitting that Sunday, March 19 not only saw Bun B turn 50 (!) but a weekend marking 20 years with his beloved and cherished wife, Queenie (née Angela Walls).

Bun B and Queenie renewed their vows in a private and intimate ceremony Sunday night at the Contemporary Arts Museum Houston with Pastor Keion Robinson officiating — and Robinson's wife Shaunie assisting — with a small orchestral accompaniment. Bun was draped up in a three-piece tuxedo looking every bit the Trill Gatsby. Quennie, always a stunner, was adorned in a sparkling, shimmering gown — one absolutely worthy of a queen.

Only a handful of family and friends attended the vow renewal and a special ring exchange, something the couple agreed upon. But it was the moment after that caught the usually steely and over-prepared Bun B off guard. As they walked into a private CAMH ballroom, the couple was greeted with a huge "surprise!" from a crowd of longtime friends and family. DJ Mister Rogers spun must-dance jams, images from Bun's storied past blazed on a large video screen, and friends (like Houston society queen Lynn Wyatt) and family hugged the Trill OG, who was nearly overcome with emotion by the party appropriately dubbed The Trill Legacy Surprise.

"It's overwhelming to have this amount of love and admiration being outpoured to me right now," he told CultureMap as we caught up backstage. "I'm doing the best I can to contain myself, but it's hard when the people that you love go out of their way to show you how much you mean to them and how much they love you. You know, it's, it's hard to contain that stuff."

Hard indeed, when friends and colleagues from his earliest days popped up — some all the way from the Great White North.

"I have friends here from Canada who flew in a private jet just to make sure they could be here," Bun added. "Gumball 3000 friends of mine from all over the country. Guys I've known for 10, 15, 20 years. My wife, my mother, my godmother, my grandchildren, nieces, nephews — so many friends and family."

The Trill OG raised glasses of Crown Royal and Tequila Don Julio cocktails with the likes of the aforementioned Wyatt, music mogul J Prince, former Rockets star/Junkyard Dog Mario Elie, Destiny's Child founding member LeToya Luckett, rapper Lil' Keke, famed attorney Rusty Hardin, power publicist Mark Sullivan, and more. No Trill bash would be complete without Trill Burgers; the team including PR pro Nick Scurfield and chefsMike Pham, and Fernando Valladares ensured hungry partiers noshed on the hottest burger in Houston.

A question quickly arose from crowd: would Bun perform or chill? But spotting his purposeful stride from party to stage, it was evident that king was about to hold court. He smoothly dropped into classic UGK tracks like "Big Pimpin'" and "Murder" and his own "Draped Up" — barely catching a sweat while fluidly dropping rhymes with his unmistakable bass timbre and alpha male presence.

Then came same heartfelt toasts from friends and longtime collaborators like Statiik Selektah, J Prince, and even a friend from his native Port Arthur. "He used to come to my house — I'd say, 'Hey, do my homework,'" his longtime friend David Marcel told the crowd during a toast — eliciting a big laugh from the OG himself. "Bun was always the smart kid in class." (Not surprising, given Bun's syncopated rhyme schemes, Rice University guest lecturer status, and prowess as a budding burger magnate.)

Always one to anoint his queen, Bun ensured a (very reticent) Queenie got her flowers onstage and graciously thanked the crowd. Backstage, he reflected on the night and his wife of two decades who put it all together. The father and grandfather, who is globally famous for his lyrical prowess, found himself speechless.

"It's, it's a bit overwhelming," he said, "I didn't really see this coming and I'm so happy that my wife thought enough of me in this moment to put this together. It's just so much, man. It's hard to really put into words — and I get paid to put things into words, you know what I'm saying? I could never have imagined that at 50 years, I'd be where I'm at right now and have so many people help me get here. And so many people that love me and care for me and look after me, man, it's, it's really amazing."

The fact that such an outpouring is amazing to him says much about the always-humble Bernard Freeman. While the alpha, godfather Bun B is a prominent persona, he's just one facet of the man who pondered the loved ones who gathered to celebrate him.

"Look, everybody that's here tonight are people that I've never had to change a single part of me for," he said, quickly getting real. "These are people that love me and have always loved me for who I am. I've never had to put on a costume, I've never had to put on a mask. I've never had to put on airs. I've never had to, you know, show favor, anything. These are people that love me in spite of myself, right? Everybody. It's very easy to love me when good things are happening, but when bad things have happened in my life, these are the people that never turned their back on me. These are the people that lifted me up, kept me going, kept me motivated, and I wouldn't be here without them today."

And then, it was back to business. The Year of the Bun promises big things — for Houston and beyond. "I just wanna put this burger in the hand of every person in Texas at least once," the burger king vowed. "But I would love to put this burger in the hands of people all over the world, but one city at a time. We'll start in Houston and we'll scale our property."

Now that's a birthday wish.