Adding new vices

Forgive me iPhone for I have sinned: The absurdity of the new Confession App

The new iPhone confession app

Feeling sinful? There's an app for that.

It's been a long 500 years, but finally Catholic souls can again be cleansed without a visit to the priest. In the middle ages one had to buy pricey get-out-of-hell-free cards known as indulgences from traveling pardoners — what, you think cathedrals grow on trees?!

These days the same absolution can be gained by spending $1.99 for the Confession application for iPhones and iPads. It even comes with the Roman Catholic seal of approval via an imprimatur from Fort Wayne, Ind., bishop Kevin Rhodes.

OK, technically the Vatican says that the app isn't meant to replace an in-person confession, just to help Catholics prepare for a session by including a proper confession script and a list of potential sins. You can check off sins you are guilty of and add new sins you've come up with. (Also please list them in the comments! CultureMap's Steven Thomson needs something to do this week.)

Frankly we think the app could be improved by adding some of the Urbanspoon functionality — enter a sin, and your frequency of sinfulness, shake the screen and the confession app pops up the appropriate penance. For example, impure thoughts 10-plus times per day = three rosaries and seven Hail Marys.

It could free up time for the decreasing number of priests as well as help Catholics on the go get good with God. What better to bring lay Catholics back to the fold? If this doesn't work, there's always Buddy Christ.

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Thanks, Queen Bey

Pop icon Beyoncé donates $100,000 to University of Houston Law School

Photo by Erza Shaw Getty Images

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Pop megastar Beyoncé Knowles-Carter has donated $100,000 to the University of Houston Law Center Criminal Justice Clinic through her BeyGOOD Foundation. The gift will allow the clinic to hire fill-time faculty to head it, benefiting the students who study there.

“I am delighted that the BeyGOOD Foundation has made this very generous gift to the UH Law Center,” said Leonard Baynes, dean of the UH Law Center. “Not only will this funding help establish a full-time criminal justice clinic that provides pro bono legal services in our community, but it will also supercharge our already excellent criminal law and justice programming.”

The clinic is one of nine at UHLC. It helps students learn to navigate the criminal justice system, especially on behalf of clients that are underserved by skilled attorneys. People of color are affected disproportionately by a lack of good, ethical representation.

Beyoncé, the most decorated artist in Grammy history and easily the biggest musical star native to Houston, has a long history of advocating for criminal justice reform. She was a staunch supporter of the police reform following the deaths of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile, asking law enforcement to “stop killing us” in a web post. In 2020, she penned an open letter to the Kentucky attorney general asking for justice in the death of Breonna Taylor.

Through her BeyGOOD Foundation, established in 2013, Beyoncé has focused mostly on expanding the prospects of Black-owned business and offering education opportunities to students. Forwarding the cause of legal representation in Texas while also helping out marginalized communities compliments her other philanthropic work.

“At UH Law, we envision a legal profession where ‘everyone has the opportunity to prosper,’ as BeyGOOD envisions, and we will achieve this vision by providing access to strong and effective legal representation in criminal proceedings,” Baynes said. “And together, through this gift, the BeyGOOD Foundation and UHLC will shepherd the next generation of criminal justice attorneys in the city of Houston, the state of Texas and the nation.”