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    gross.com/ew

    Stranger than fiction: Houston A/C heir/polo king John Goodman legally adoptshis girlfriend

    Sarah Rufca
    Jan 31, 2012 | 6:29 pm

    What's a multimillionaire with serious legal issues and a fortune at stake to do when the family of his drunk driving victim files an explosive civil suit? If you are John Goodman, the answer is apparently "legally adopt your girlfriend."

    Goodman is a Houston native and heir to the late Harold Goodman, who founded Goodman Manufacturing, the second-biggest producer of air conditioning units in the country. He's also the founder of the Palm Beach International Polo Club and lives in neighboring Wellington, Fla.

    Charges against Goodman for vehicular homicide, DUI manslaughter and failure to render aid are still pending (the case is so notorious in Palm Beach that his lawyers just filed a request for a change of venue).

    In February 2010 Goodman made headlines when he caused an accident while allegedly driving drunk. Investigators say Goodman was driving at twice the posted speed limit and sped through a stop sign before hitting a car driven by 23-year-old Scott Wilson.

    Wilson's car landed upside-down in a canal and the engineering graduate drowned. Goodman's blood alcohol level was tested at .177. The legal limit in Florida is .08.

    Charges against Goodman for vehicular homicide, DUI manslaughter and failure to render aid are still pending (the case is so notorious in Palm Beach that his lawyers just filed a request for a change of venue) and now Wilson's family has also filed a civil suit for damages which could potentially run to more than $100 million.

    In an unusual move that seems an attempt to shield some of his trust fund wealth from a potential civil verdict, Goodman has legally adopted his current girlfriend, 42-year-old Heather Hutchins. According to CBS 12 in Florida, by naming Hutchins as his child and heir, she is immediately eligible to one-third of his estate as she is over the trust maturation age of 35. Goodman has two other children (who live in Houston) but both of them are under 35.

    The judge in the case wrote that "the events border on the surreal and take the court into a legal twilight zone." Strangely, adult adoption has been used before to benefit relationship partners, particularly by gay couples who can't legally marry or pass on their wealth without significant tax barriers.

    The most famous case of an adult adopting a girlfriend for estate purposes is when Olive Watson, daughter of IBM founder Thomas Watson, legally adopted her lesbian partner Patricia Spado in 1991. The couple broke up a year after the adoption, but once Thomas Watson and his wife passed away, Spado claimed that she was entitled to a share in the estate as his legal grandchild. The Maine Supreme Court declared the adoption legal in 2009, but a probate court has declared that since Watson was not aware of the adoption at the time of his death, she should not inherit, but an appeal is still pending.

    I'm no expert, but isn't having a sexual relationship with your adopted child considered incest? And isn't incest illegal in most places outside of Appalachia?

    But here's the real question: How many millions would someone have to offer you to make your sexual partner legally your child?

    unspecified
    news/city-life

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    Unhappy holidays

    Porch pirates swipe nearly $2B in packages from Texas homes this year

    John Egan
    Dec 17, 2025 | 9:30 am
    Porch Pirate Person in Glasses Steals Packages
    Getty Images
    The Grinch isn't the only one stealing Christmas these days.

    ’Tis the season for porch pirates. If past trends are an indicator, the Grinch will swipe close to $2 billion worth of packages delivered to Texas households this year, with many of those thefts happening ahead of the holiday season.

    An analysis of FBI and survey data by ecommerce marketing company Omnisend shows porch pirates stole more than $1.8 billion worth of packages from Texans’ porches last year. Porch pirates hit nearly one-third of the state’s households in 2024, according to the analysis.

    Omnisend’s analysis reveals these statistics about porch piracy in Texas:

    • 30.1 million residential package thefts in 2024.
    • An average household loss of $169 per year.
    • An annual average of 2.9 package thefts per household.

    “Most stolen items are cheap on their own, but add them up, and retailers and consumers are facing an enormous bill,” says Omnisend.

    Another data analysis, this one from The Action Network sports betting platform, unwraps different figures regarding porch piracy in Texas.

    The platform’s 2025 Porch Pirate Index ranks Texas as the state with the highest volume of residential thefts, based on 2023-24 FBI data.

    Researchers at The Action Network uncovered 26,293 reports of personal property thefts at Texas residences during that period. The network’s survey data indicates 5 percent of Texas residents had a package stolen in the three months before the pre-holiday survey.

    The Porch Pirate Index calculates a 25.8 percent risk of a Texas household being victimized by porch pirates, putting it in the No. 5 spot among states with the highest risk of porch piracy.

    The Action Network included online-search volume for terms like “package stolen” and “porch pirates.” Sustained spikes in these searches suggest that “people are actively looking for guidance after something has happened. Search trends serve as an early warning system, revealing emerging-risk areas well before annual crime statistics are released,” the network says.

    Tips to avoid being a victim
    So, how do you prevent porch pirates from snatching packages that end up on your porch? Omnisend, The Action Network and Amazon offer these eight tips:

    1. Closely monitor deliveries and quickly retrieve packages.
    2. Schedule deliveries for times when you’ll be home.
    3. Use delivery lockers or in-store pickup when possible.
    4. Ask delivery services to hide packages in out-of-sight spots outside your home.
    5. Install a visible doorbell camera or security camera.
    6. Coordinate deliveries with neighbors or building managers if you’ll be away from your home when packages are supposed to arrive.
    7. Request that delivery services hold your packages if you can’t be home when they’re scheduled to come.
    8. Illuminate the path to your doorstep and keep porch lights on.
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