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    New beginnings

    A New Year's resolution worth holding onto: Be fearless to be creative

    Lauren Modery
    Jan 1, 2013 | 2:47 pm

    Resolutions have never been a priority of mine. In fact, neither have definitive life goals.

    To quote my favorite Talking Heads song, I've mostly meandered through life with my "feet on the ground, head in the sky." I was told to dream big by the regrets of my mother, the foolhardiness of my father, and the fantastical fairy tales of the films and books I immersed myself in as an only child growing up in a small, snow-blanketed upstate New York town.

    Some of those dreams I've surprisingly achieved (I worked in Hollywood, I co-wrote a film and have met the majority of my creative idols I look up to), while other will always maintain a fantasy (considering I can't act my way out of a paper bag, becoming Diane Keaton is no longer an ambition).

    With the help of mentors and heroes, I've reached a point where I no longer second guess myself — I no longer ask if what I'm doing is good enough, right enough or best enough. Like a child untouched, I just do it.

    However, there stands the possibility that a subconscious resolution has been riding shotgun with me through the years — a resolution that has not yet come to full fruition, but matures more year by year. It's the resolution to be fearless with my creativity. As a child, without the reality of criticism or heartbreak rearing its ugly head, I unflinchingly created every day.

    Piano ditties, ugly ceramic sculptures that looked like rejects from Where the Wild Things Are, VHS music videos of me pretending to be Jerry Lee Lewis, drawings of asymmetrical people with hugely disproportion heads. None of these achievements were particularly good, but no one ever told me that, and most certainly no one told me to stop creating.

    This window remained open until the icky, gray period of self-doubt and low self-esteem flew in one day and I watched as my artistic bravery got pushed to the wayside. I wish I could say that occurred in my teenage years, but during my adolescence I was still blissfully ignorant to the judgment of myself and from others. No, it was during my college years when the unpalatable act of "comparing myself to others" took hold and didn't let go until many years later.

    I figured as an early twentysomething, what could I possibly create that would make me stand apart from the rest? I lacked wisdom, I lacked experience, and most importantly, I lost my self-confidence somewhere along the road to becoming an adult. For the first half of my third decade in life, I created nothing and unknowingly spent that whirlwind of emotional cataclysm learning who I was both as a person and as an artist.

    When the light appeared at the end of the tunnel I had been blindly feeling my way through, I sprinted as fast as I could toward it, which is where I stand now. With the help of mentors and heroes, I've reached a point where I no longer second guess myself — I no longer ask if what I'm doing is good enough, right enough or best enough. Like a child untouched, I just do it. That means that what I create, whether it's a piece of art, words on a paper or any other project that strikes my fancy, is not always impressive, but I'm OK with that because half the battle is just getting myself to make it.

    There is great pride with visualizing a project and seeing it through to the end. Though they may not always be winners, by creating enough, you're bound to find a few sparkling diamonds in the rough. With that mentality, I became self-employed, made a movie, wrote several national and international articles and created a laundry list of long-term projects I can't wait to get started on.

    I'm learning as I get older that the majority of people want to create, but their fears prevent them from doing so. Imagine all the incredible art that will never be introduced to this world! We can bemoan that we don't have the time or money, but I call hogwash! It strictly boil downs to self-doubt.

    This year, I vow to continue living my creative life to the fullest, and so should you. You only have one shot at this life. What do you have to lose?

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    A New Ernie

    Local TV star fights back from bike accident, loses 60 pounds in dramatic weight battle

    Tyler Rudick
    Feb 3, 2013 | 3:01 pm
    Local TV star fights back from bike accident, loses 60 pounds in dramatic weight battle
    Photo by Clifford Pugh
    Manor of Speaking, Downton Abbey, Jackson Hicks, Helen Mann, Ernie Manouse, Robert Patten, Roseann Rogers

    September 2011 marked the beginning of a rough patch for local public television celeb Ernie Manouse.

    "I was literally laid up for two-and-a-half months after the accident," he says of a bike crash that left him with two broken hands . . . just in time for pledge drive season.

    "All that time wearing pull-on clothes and just laying around . . . really took its toll. I just let myself go."

    "During the recovery, I never really felt much pain. All that time wearing pull-on clothes and just laying around, however, really took its toll. I just let myself go."

    While he's always battled weight issues, Manouse says he noticed how differently he was treated as he became heavier.

    "It was like my energy changed in some way and people could see that. I used to go into a room and everybody would be like, 'Hey, it's Ernie!' But as I got bigger, it was almost like I was invisible. At first, I chalked it up to getting older or having been around long enough that I wasn't as unique to see."

    In the end, Manouse found his weight was affecting not only his health, but his overall mood and outlook.

    Enter, Sean Burks — the Houston personal trainer who Manouse credits with creating a "nearly perfect" program that has helped him shed more than 60 pounds since this past summer.

    "I finally realized you just have to concentrate on these two funny little things called diet and exercise."

    "After trying all the fads through the years, I finally realized you just have to concentrate on these two funny little things called diet and exercise," he laughs, noting how easy Burks' plan was to follow.

    The diet period called for the total elimination of sugar as well white carbs like potatoes, rice and bread. Exercise requirements involved training with Burks for an hour twice a week.

    With his weight once again under control, Manouse has returned to biking in recent months, clocking as many as 14 miles a day.

    "I feel like I have one more period in my life when I can feel young and thin and healthy," he says. "It's great to be actively doing something about it."

    Be sure to check out Manouse's current Downton Abbey talk show, Manor of Speaking, which airs Sundays on ​HoustonPBS at 10 p.m. The station runs episodes of the award-winning series InnerVIEWS with Ernie Manouse throughout the week. See the KUHF Ch. 8 website for details.

    Ernie Manouse, NoH8, December 2012

    Ernie Manouse, NoH8, December 2012
      
    Ernie Manouse Facebook
    Ernie Manouse, NoH8, December 2012
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