Weekend events planner

Here are the top 8 things to do in Houston this weekend

It’s never too early to start planning for the weekend. We’ve rounded up some of the best entertainment, arts, and food events in town, from top singers to foodie pop-ups. Read on for our guide to the top eight things to do this weekend in Houston. For more options, check out the full CultureMap Events Calendar.

Dine out for a good cause
Thursday, August 3 -Sunday, August 6
Houston Restaurant Weeks (HRW), which runs through September 4, has begun and diners are flocking to participating restaurants. For our guide to eight must-try restaurants new to HRW, click here. And for the full list of restaurants, head to the HRW website. A portion of the cost of each HRW menu goes to the Houston Food Bank. (tickets: $20-$45 per HRW menu, person)
Various locations

All the world's a stage
Thursday, August 3 and Saturday, August 5
Catch a performance of Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night, presented by the Houston Shakespeare Festival at Miller Outdoor Theatre. The classic tale involves the pursuit of unrequited love —complete with high-jinks and serenades. (8:15 pm; tickets: free and available at the Miller Outdoor Theatre box office the day of the performance between the hours of 10:30 am-1 pm).
6000 Hermann Park Dr.; 281-373-3386

Calling all foodies
Friday, August 4-Sunday, August 6
Chef Tim Love (Fort Worth’s White Elephant Saloon, the Love Shack, the Woodshed Smokehouse, and Lonesome Dove Western Bistro), who is set to launch Woodshed Houston in 2018, hosts a weekend pop up at Levy Park. Expect a roster of eats including elote ($5), a pulled pork sandwich topped with house slaw, pickles and mustard ($10), and nachos with queso, pickled jalapenos, and avocado corn salsa ($8). Wash it all down with refreshing beverages from beer ($4) to frose ($7). (August 4 from 5 pm- 9 pm; August 5 from 10 am-9 pm; August 6 from 10-5 pm; tickets: free entry)
3801 Eastside St.

All night long
Friday, August 4
Lionel Richie hits the stage at downtown’s Toyota Center along with special guest Mariah Carey as part of the All The Hits Tour. (7 pm; tickets: $39.95-$500 per person)
1510 Polk St.; 713-758-7200

Arcade games galore
Saturday, August 5
The Children’s Museum of Houston throws it back to the '80s by celebrating 8-bit technology, the third generation of computer and video games, with activities (think designing and animating your own 8-bit video game hero) and several arcade games, including Pac-Man, Asteroids, Space Invaders, Frogger, and Donkey Kong. (10 am; tickets: $12 per person to enter the museum)
1500 Binz St.; 713-522-1138

Break out your summer whites
Saturday, August 5
White Linen Night in The Heights shines a spotlight on thriving artists, musicians, and businesses with a slew of activities scattered across the area. As you brave the heat walking the streets, cool off at participating stores and restaurants along 19th Street, offering various deals. (6 pm; tickets; free entry)
Various locales; 713-360-6204

We will rock you
Saturday, August 5
Former American Idol contestant Adam Lambert, with Brian May and Roger Taylor of Queen, head to the Toyota Center to perform such hits as “Another One Bites the Dust,” “Bohemian Rhapsody,” and “We Are The Champions” made famous by the classic British rock band.(7 pm; tickets: $49.50-$175 per person)
1510 Polk St.; 713-758-7200

Sunday specials
Sunday, August 6
At the “End of Summer Bash” at Killen’s Barbecue, enjoy tunes by the Junior Gordon Band, ice-cold beer in the line, and red hot Sunday specials, including epic fried chicken ($12 per plate): a whopping half bird is served with mashed potatoes and green beans. (2-6 pm; tickets: free entry)
3613 E Broadway St., Pearland; 281-485-2272

Chef Tim Love hosts a weekend pop up at Levy Park.

Houston, what to do this weekend, August 2 2017, Tim Love nachos

Courtesy photo

Chef Tim Love hosts a weekend pop up at Levy Park.

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Movie Review

Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

Photo by Matt Grace

Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

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Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

movies film