Woe is me. I've been working diligently for the past few months on my fledgling Twitter account, dragging my iPhone to every swank dinner party and low-down barbecue joint tweeting, tweeting, tweeting hoping to inspire a massive following. I've even begged on my Facebook account for followers.

To date, CMHshelbyhodge is just shy of 200.

And now comes this sassy and, need I say, stinky upstart CorpzFlowrLois who in 24 hours on Twitter has amassed a fan following of 450-plus and counting. Bitch.

I suppose that when she blooms, which is what everyone is so over the moon about, her Twitter followers will increase geometrically. Never mind that she is going to set off a stench guaranteed to draw buzzards from as far away as the Ship Channel.

Really, it's not fair. She lives in the wrong zip code. Her clothes are sorely lacking in designer labels. And those odd garments are green and purple, for God's sake. Is this Mardi Gras, or what?

To date, I haven't seen one piece of serious jewelry on Lois. Furthermore, I doubt that when she leaves her perch at the Houston Museum of Natural Science she has a Town Car and driver.

But now that I've slammed the media darling du jour, I might reconsider. After all, who is this celebutante that has emerged on our radar more quickly than a Saturn Rocket? Lady Gaga move over. Lindsay Lohan make way. There is a new star among us and if you follow her Twitter account, you'll find that she is quite brassy, audacious and occasionally insolent.

I'd like to know her better. Really. If I could score the first interview with the elusive CorpzFlowrLois, I would be famous. As we know, the corpse flower Lois at the museum resides in a pot and really isn't too talkative while her alter-ego CorpzFlowrLois is a cheeky chatty cathy. Everyone would want to follow me on Twitter. I could win a Pulitzer!

So I am officially putting the word out today: I must be the first to have an exclusive with CorpzFlowrLois. Diego, have your people contact my people. And, please, follow me on Twitter!