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    Astros Drive Yankees Insane

    Astros drive New York Yankees fans hilariously insane, leave American League's richest bats in need of Viagra

    Chris Baldwin
    Apr 3, 2014 | 6:04 am

    Jarred Cosart is still young enough to carry a backpack to work — and there it is, a plain black utility number, at his feet as he talks about beating the New York Yankees and firing 98 MPH fastballs past Derek Freaking Jeter. The wonder remains in the voice of the Houston Astros' 23-year-old pitcher, even though it's a good two hours after he walked off the Minute Maid Park mound.

    "Jeter comes to the plate and gets a standing O," Cosart says. "The guy's got like 30 million hits."

    Not quite, but Cosart's sense of respect for his future Hall of Fame elder is commendable. It's the 23-year-old's lack of fear that's truly exciting though. For Cosart makes sure Jeter doesn't add to the 3,317 hits he does have on this night. The League City kid who watched Jeter rack up championships when he was a wide-eyed elementary schooler gets the Yankees icon to meekly ground out twice.

    For the second straight night, it's quickly made clear that Astros will not back down to the American League's richest team. This time the $45 million payroll team beats the $203 million payroll team by a 3-1 margin. Don't look now — and most of you aren't as evidenced by the disappointing 23,145 crowd for a Yankees game, one of only three games Derek Jeter and Co. will play in Houston this season — but the Astros have already won a series.

    "I'm not saying we're going to go to the playoffs or anything. But our goal is to shock the world, whatever that ends up meaning."

    Houston's left for dead baseball team is suddenly 2-0 for the first time in 11 seasons. And while few may have noticed in this beaten down baseball town, this strange development's certainly getting attention in New York City.

    The Yankees are a loss away from being swept by the team that couldn't beat anybody last season — and downright panic is breaking out in Gotham. Yankees manager Joe Girardi is already calling Thursday night's series finale "important." Which may be the first time in baseball history a manager's sounded the alarm and attached a sense of urgency to the third game of a 162-game slate.

    "Nobody expected us to come in here and win a series from the Yankees," Cosart says.

    You needn't remind anyone in The City That Never Sleeps. Late night callers to New York's 24-hour local all-sports radio station 660 AM are railing against the Yankees' high-priced flailing bats, talking themselves out onto an early doomsday ledge of no playoffs in the Bronx again.

    Matt Allbers — Matt Albers?! — is mowing down the Yankees' Murderers Row of great mid-2000s era hitters, striking out Brian McCann, Mark Teixeria and Alfonso Soriano back to back to back to end a critical eighth inning threat.

    Nobody's ever said Matt Freaking Albers in frustrated admiration. Or Dexter Freaking Fowler for that matter.

    But there's Fowler hitting the second pitch he sees over the right center field wall, the night after he knocks the third pitch he's offered all the way up Tal's Hill. The Astros new leadoff man is making Houston general manager Jeff Luhnow's offseason trade for him look like a grand theft — especially considering jettisoned former Astros pitcher Jordan Lyles couldn't even make the Colorado Rockies Major League roster coming out of spring training. (Lyles has since been called up due to injury.)

    There's crazy April misery in New York and unexpected promise in Houston.

    Astros manager Bo Porter went through eight different leadoff men last season — and still the Astros never found a table setter worth a damn.

    They have one now.

    Dexter Fowler is playing baseball like it's his chance to spread joy to the world.

    "It's always awesome to be 2-0," says Fowler, who may have already broken the all-time Minute Maid Park home clubhouse record for smiles in just his first week in it.

    It's even better when there's a young talent like Cosart powering the way.

    Jarred Cosart's Time

    Cosart retires the first seven batters he faces, working as fast as the Astros new veteran staff leader Scott Feldman did the night before. He pounds the strike zone (20 of his first 28 pitches are strikes), induces a run of ground balls and shows little fear of the big, bad Yankees.

    He's lifted after five scoreless innings and nine ground ball outs, the necessary, smart price of protecting a 23-year-old arm for a rebuilding franchise.

    Bo Porter went through eight different leadoff men last season — and still the Astros never found a table setter worth a damn. They have one now.

    The idea that Cosart's 1.95 ERA in 10 starts last season was but an illusion — that his 33 strikeouts and 35 walks in 60 innings forecast a future sudden regression — suddenly seem much more farfetched. Cosart's already smartly benefiting from Feldman's presence spending three hours with the 10-year veteran going over video of the Yankees lineup a few days before the series began.

    "Last year was my first experience in the majors and this is first time I've really gotten into video and looking at to help format a gameplan," Cosart says. "(Feldman) just went over how he approaches some of their hitters and how he handles certain situations. He really helped me a lot.

    "I used a number of the things he talked about tonight."

    No wonder the Yankees can't hit Cosart — they're going against two pitching minds. And a team on an unexpected mission. "We know what everyone's saying about this team," says Josh Fields, who only needs 10 pitches for a 1-2-3 ninth and his first Astros save. "People are going to be surprised to see us off to a 2-0 start, especially against the Yankees."

    Still, only 23,145 show up. For the Yankees. The night after Opening Day, when whatever little hope there is for these 2014 Astros should still be alive.

    After years of being horrific, being fun and interesting might not be enough.

    Then again, maybe these young Astros can patiently wait for everyone else in Houston to catch on. They're certainly showing resiliency too. Matt Dominguez is 0 for 6 with four strikeouts on the young season when he steps into the batter's box in the bottom of the seventh. He promptly drills a no-doubt shot — the power-challenged Astros fourth home run in two games — into the right field stands.

    There's crazy April misery in New York and unexpected promise in Houston.

    "I'm not saying we're going to go to the playoffs or anything," Cosart says. "But our goal is to shock the world, whatever that ends up meaning."

    Soon, Cosart's lifting that backpack onto his shoulder and heading out into a balmy Houston night, the image of facing down Derek Freaking Jeter no doubt dancing in his head.

    Dexter Fowler once again put himself at the center of the celebration, leaving Astros manager Bo Porter beaming.

    Dexter Fowler Astros celebration
      
    Photo by Michelle Watson CultureMapSnap
    Dexter Fowler once again put himself at the center of the celebration, leaving Astros manager Bo Porter beaming.
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    news/sports

    pucker up

    Growing pickleball franchise smashes into Houston with 2 locations

    Jef Rouner
    Apr 29, 2025 | 5:30 pm
    Two men play pickleball on a Picklr court.
    Photo courtesy of The Picklr
    A Picklr court campus similar to the ones soon to open in Houston.

    Pickleball is one of the hottest sports sweeping the nation, and one of the biggest names in the game is setting up two new facilities in Houston. Picklr is scheduled to open indoor sports campuses in Cypress and The Woodlands in the coming months.

    “Bringing a pickleball facility to Cypress will not only provide a fun and engaging recreational outlet for residents of all ages, but will also foster a sense of community and promote a healthy and active lifestyle,” said Steve Nguyen, owner of The Picklr Cypress.“This facility will serve as a vibrant hub for social interaction, skill development, and friendly/competitive competition, enhancing community bonds and offering a welcoming space for everyone to enjoy.”

    Although the game is approximately 60 years old, pickleball saw a massive spike in popularity following the pandemic when people were looking for fun group activities with easy points of entry. Though a racket sport like tennis, it is far easier and slower thanks to using perforated balls, smaller courts, and lighter paddles. This means the game is open to players of all ages, and was originally most popular with retirees. Now, there are roughly 5 million players across America, with players under 24 making up the majority. Houston even has its own professional team, the Hammers (not the Texas Hammer; that's this guy).

    The court in Cypress will be located in the old ASI Gymnastics building at 8920 Barker Cypress. It's a relatively modest facility with only six courts including a practice court. By contrast, The Woodlands location will be much more opulent. At 66,517 square feet, it will have 20 courts, 4 private event spaces (one with an exclusive viewing area), as well as a shower, changing room, dry bar, and kitchenette. Picklr The Woodlands will be located at 16590 Interstate I-45 South.

    These locations are the first for Picklr in Houston. They have twelve locations all throughout Texas, including in Round Rock and McKinney, and many more nationwide. Picklr locations operate on a membership model similar to a gym. Memberships run $159 a month for adults and $89 for minors, with unlimited access to open play, league play, and tournaments , as well as four free clinics a month. Additional coaching is available.

    There is currently no set opening date for the two Houston-area Picklrs. Players interested in learning more may sign up for updates at ThePicklr.com.

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