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    Astros Drive Yankees Insane

    Astros drive New York Yankees fans hilariously insane, leave American League's richest bats in need of Viagra

    Chris Baldwin
    Apr 3, 2014 | 6:04 am

    Jarred Cosart is still young enough to carry a backpack to work — and there it is, a plain black utility number, at his feet as he talks about beating the New York Yankees and firing 98 MPH fastballs past Derek Freaking Jeter. The wonder remains in the voice of the Houston Astros' 23-year-old pitcher, even though it's a good two hours after he walked off the Minute Maid Park mound.

    "Jeter comes to the plate and gets a standing O," Cosart says. "The guy's got like 30 million hits."

    Not quite, but Cosart's sense of respect for his future Hall of Fame elder is commendable. It's the 23-year-old's lack of fear that's truly exciting though. For Cosart makes sure Jeter doesn't add to the 3,317 hits he does have on this night. The League City kid who watched Jeter rack up championships when he was a wide-eyed elementary schooler gets the Yankees icon to meekly ground out twice.

    For the second straight night, it's quickly made clear that Astros will not back down to the American League's richest team. This time the $45 million payroll team beats the $203 million payroll team by a 3-1 margin. Don't look now — and most of you aren't as evidenced by the disappointing 23,145 crowd for a Yankees game, one of only three games Derek Jeter and Co. will play in Houston this season — but the Astros have already won a series.

    "I'm not saying we're going to go to the playoffs or anything. But our goal is to shock the world, whatever that ends up meaning."

    Houston's left for dead baseball team is suddenly 2-0 for the first time in 11 seasons. And while few may have noticed in this beaten down baseball town, this strange development's certainly getting attention in New York City.

    The Yankees are a loss away from being swept by the team that couldn't beat anybody last season — and downright panic is breaking out in Gotham. Yankees manager Joe Girardi is already calling Thursday night's series finale "important." Which may be the first time in baseball history a manager's sounded the alarm and attached a sense of urgency to the third game of a 162-game slate.

    "Nobody expected us to come in here and win a series from the Yankees," Cosart says.

    You needn't remind anyone in The City That Never Sleeps. Late night callers to New York's 24-hour local all-sports radio station 660 AM are railing against the Yankees' high-priced flailing bats, talking themselves out onto an early doomsday ledge of no playoffs in the Bronx again.

    Matt Allbers — Matt Albers?! — is mowing down the Yankees' Murderers Row of great mid-2000s era hitters, striking out Brian McCann, Mark Teixeria and Alfonso Soriano back to back to back to end a critical eighth inning threat.

    Nobody's ever said Matt Freaking Albers in frustrated admiration. Or Dexter Freaking Fowler for that matter.

    But there's Fowler hitting the second pitch he sees over the right center field wall, the night after he knocks the third pitch he's offered all the way up Tal's Hill. The Astros new leadoff man is making Houston general manager Jeff Luhnow's offseason trade for him look like a grand theft — especially considering jettisoned former Astros pitcher Jordan Lyles couldn't even make the Colorado Rockies Major League roster coming out of spring training. (Lyles has since been called up due to injury.)

    There's crazy April misery in New York and unexpected promise in Houston.

    Astros manager Bo Porter went through eight different leadoff men last season — and still the Astros never found a table setter worth a damn.

    They have one now.

    Dexter Fowler is playing baseball like it's his chance to spread joy to the world.

    "It's always awesome to be 2-0," says Fowler, who may have already broken the all-time Minute Maid Park home clubhouse record for smiles in just his first week in it.

    It's even better when there's a young talent like Cosart powering the way.

    Jarred Cosart's Time

    Cosart retires the first seven batters he faces, working as fast as the Astros new veteran staff leader Scott Feldman did the night before. He pounds the strike zone (20 of his first 28 pitches are strikes), induces a run of ground balls and shows little fear of the big, bad Yankees.

    He's lifted after five scoreless innings and nine ground ball outs, the necessary, smart price of protecting a 23-year-old arm for a rebuilding franchise.

    Bo Porter went through eight different leadoff men last season — and still the Astros never found a table setter worth a damn. They have one now.

    The idea that Cosart's 1.95 ERA in 10 starts last season was but an illusion — that his 33 strikeouts and 35 walks in 60 innings forecast a future sudden regression — suddenly seem much more farfetched. Cosart's already smartly benefiting from Feldman's presence spending three hours with the 10-year veteran going over video of the Yankees lineup a few days before the series began.

    "Last year was my first experience in the majors and this is first time I've really gotten into video and looking at to help format a gameplan," Cosart says. "(Feldman) just went over how he approaches some of their hitters and how he handles certain situations. He really helped me a lot.

    "I used a number of the things he talked about tonight."

    No wonder the Yankees can't hit Cosart — they're going against two pitching minds. And a team on an unexpected mission. "We know what everyone's saying about this team," says Josh Fields, who only needs 10 pitches for a 1-2-3 ninth and his first Astros save. "People are going to be surprised to see us off to a 2-0 start, especially against the Yankees."

    Still, only 23,145 show up. For the Yankees. The night after Opening Day, when whatever little hope there is for these 2014 Astros should still be alive.

    After years of being horrific, being fun and interesting might not be enough.

    Then again, maybe these young Astros can patiently wait for everyone else in Houston to catch on. They're certainly showing resiliency too. Matt Dominguez is 0 for 6 with four strikeouts on the young season when he steps into the batter's box in the bottom of the seventh. He promptly drills a no-doubt shot — the power-challenged Astros fourth home run in two games — into the right field stands.

    There's crazy April misery in New York and unexpected promise in Houston.

    "I'm not saying we're going to go to the playoffs or anything," Cosart says. "But our goal is to shock the world, whatever that ends up meaning."

    Soon, Cosart's lifting that backpack onto his shoulder and heading out into a balmy Houston night, the image of facing down Derek Freaking Jeter no doubt dancing in his head.

    Dexter Fowler once again put himself at the center of the celebration, leaving Astros manager Bo Porter beaming.

    Dexter Fowler Astros celebration
    Photo by Michelle Watson CultureMapSnap
    Dexter Fowler once again put himself at the center of the celebration, leaving Astros manager Bo Porter beaming.
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    news/sports

    open containers for all

    Houston suburb's new social district sweetens World Cup festivities

    Jef Rouner
    Nov 25, 2025 | 10:30 am
    A shot of the entrance to the First Colony Mall in Sugar Land with the Cheesecake Factory in the background.
    Photo courtesy of Visit Sugar Land
    First Colony Mall will be part of the new Sugar Land social district.

    As the 2026 FIFA World Cup nears, Houston is preparing a variety of ways to the welcome the thousands of visitors the event will draw. The latest is in Sugar Land, where city authorities announced the creation of a new social district that will open on Friday, December 5.

    “The Sugar Land Social District reflects our city’s trailblazing spirit and shows how we’re ready to redefine what a vibrant destination can be,” said Elizabeth Huff, director of economic development & tourism. “By bringing together our dining, entertainment, and cultural experiences in a walkable setting, it creates a sweeter experience for residents, visitors, and groups alike, positioning Sugar Land as a great supporter to Houston as we prepare to welcome the world for FIFA World Cup 2026.”

    Running June 11-July 29, the 2026 World Cup will feature games in the United States, Mexico, and Canada. NRG Stadium is scheduled to host seven matches over the course of the tournament. That includes five group stage matches, one in the Round of 32, and one in the Round of 16. Sugar Land has partnered with FIFA to earn the title of "Host City Supporter.

    What is a Social District?

    Basically, a social district turns large areas into a party zone where people can legally walk between various businesses and events with open containers of alcohol. Think the Wynwood Art District in Miami, Florida or the Arts District in Downtown Los Angeles, California. The lack of restrictions begets a more relaxed, party atmosphere while the focus on walkable areas adds a greater sense of community.

    The Sugar Land Social District encompasses parts of the Sugar Land Town Square and First Colony Mall. It will be open Monday through Saturday from 7 am to 2:15 am and Sunday from noon to 2:15 am. The boundaries of the district will be clearly marked to prevent people from wandering outside of them and violating open container laws. The Sugar Land Police Department will regularly patrol the district.

    More than a dozen bars and restaurants lie within the district, including Flying Saucer Draught Emporium, Little Woodrow's, Baker Street Pub, B.B. Italia, and others.

    Social District Opening Party

    The official debut of the social district on Friday, December 5 will start at 10:30 am at Little Woodrow's Sugar Land with a FIFA World Cup 2026 Final Draw Watch Party lasting until 1 pm. From 5-8 pm, the annual tree lighting ceremony will take place in the town square. Visitors who purchase beverages from three participating vendors will receive a free custom FIFA World Cup 2026 Houston and Visit Sugar Land koozie, as well as a free hot chocolate from the Visit Sugar Land cart.

    “As part of our city's Strategic Action Plan and Stimulating Economic Growth All-In Initiative, this new social district isn’t just about enjoying a drink outdoors; it’s about creating a more connected and walkable community,” said Teagan Trammell, strategic and government affairs management analyst for the City of Sugar Land. “By encouraging people to explore our local restaurants and bars on foot, we’re strengthening the bonds between residents, visitors, and businesses while showcasing the vibrant culture that makes Sugar Land stand out.”

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