How to irritate people
Monty Python airplane sketch is perfect defense for whacked-out JetBlue flightattendant (with video)
Scene from "How To Irritate People"
JetBlue flight attendant Steven Slater was plenty irritatedPhoto by Theodorakis/News
I’d like to put in a word – and an illuminating video, as Defense Exhibit A – on behalf of stressed-out flight attendant Steven Slater. He’s the JetBlue Airways crew member who’s been charged on several counts in New York after allegedly making an expletive-riddled farewell speech over an airplane’s intercom system, then deploying and sliding down the plane’s emergency chute. Slater’s side of the story is that a passenger’s rude behavior triggered the frustration that put him over the side.
Coincidentally, about an hour before the JetBlue story broke, I was musing over the innate stress of flying after sending a cheering email, with a link to the classic John Cleese “How to Irritate People – Airplane Sketch,” to a frequent-flier British friend who was under the weather.
In this sketch, Cleese plays a bored airline captain who suddenly discovers a super new way to entertain himself and the other crew members on a typically dull flight. He starts making enigmatically ominous announcements over the airplane’s public-address system.
Cleese first announces grimly: “This is your captain speaking. There is absolutely no cause for alarm.” After allowing some time to elapse, so passengers can begin to worry in earnest about what prompted that odd declaration, Cleese then announces crisply: “The wings are not on fire.”
What makes generations of people laugh at the faux captain’s outrageous behavior is the same thing that’s attracting so much attention and sympathy to the JetBlue flight attendant’s inappropriate flight of fancy. It’s the kindred sense of frustration borne of feeling bored, trapped and helpless under frustrating circumstances over which we have no control. And these conditions keep getting worse as time goes on.
People love to laugh whenever they get the rare opportunity to grin mischievously in the face of their personal demons. If they don’t have that opportunity, they tend to do a slow boil. That’s what I think is going on among airline passengers and crew alike today. It’s not as if anyone expects flying to be fun anymore – just bearable. I think conditions have worsened to the point where that seems to be expecting a bit much. That’s what finally pushed this experienced flight attendant overboard.
Slater was already suffering from the stress of his mom’s lung cancer. Word has it that his dad died recently, to boot. So this guy went back and forth every day, from one bad situation to another, under very trying circumstances against which he had no defense, and from which he had no relief. Although most of us don’t have Slater’s problems, it’s hard for all of us to keep a smile on our faces during these economically uncertain times -- especially when we have to fly someplace.
Let’s face it. Flying stopped being fun – much less glamorous, as portrayed in early commercials – a couple of generations ago. Today, no matter which airline you choose, you know when you book an economy ticket that you’re giving your informed consent to potentially endure exquisite tortures akin to the Spanish Inquisition --which, by the way, Monty Python’s troupe carried off much better than the original characters.
As if preflight procedures weren’t delightful enough -- shedding your coat, shoes and belt, throwing your valuables into plastic bins, and then stepping through metal detectors -- passengers at U.S. airports now are beginning to face new high-tech body scanner machines that are making some people feel even more stressed out. Concerns over perceived indignities have been reported recently in the national media, as well as questions focusing on a particular type of body scanner known as the “backscatter.”
On top of these new security procedures, most airlines keep jacking up their fares and adding all kinds of new fees. Is it any wonder that many Americans who fly these days feel anxious and irritable? When new stresses keep piling up on multiple levels, one wonders how much a human being can be expected to gracefully take – especially in an era when “common courtesy” is no longer common, and bad behavior, like ranting and cursing, has become so commonplace.
While Steven Slater’s behavior certainly wasn’t excusable, it was understandable. Hey, at least when this crew member used the airplane intercom, he didn’t say anything anywhere near as alarming as what Captain Cleese tells his passengers (see Defense Exhibit A).
Actually, Monty Python had it right, all along. Check out the Monty Python Channel on YouTube, and please join the audience in the sing-along song offering the excellent advice, “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life."
When you fly, bring your sense of humor, along with your carry-on. And for God’s sake, try not to hit anybody when you open the overhead bin!
See the classic John Cleese video here:
