Defensive masterminds are supposed to be dour, miserable men who rule with force and fear. Worshipping at the altar of Bill Belichick and Nick Saban has taught good football people this, convinced even the most progressive thinkers that winning cannot be enjoyable.

And it certainly can't be silly.

You must bleed every bit of individuality out of your players, get it to the point where they all almost sound like robots in the same program (just listen to a Tom Brady press conference sometime). And the coach himself? Well, he'd better look and act like he's the most burdened, troubled man in the free world. Not dressing very well, scowling a lot and making everyone wonder just how little sleep you're operating on is a good start.

It'd better look like Nicholas Brody has a less stressful life than you.

You're a defensive football coach, dammit. That's real torture.

So how does one explain Wade Phillips? You know, the coach of the most devastating, game-changing defense in pro football. The architect of a rollicking, fun bunch that's capable of forcing another professional team into six turnovers and absolutely squeezing all the life out of an offense.

That's what Wade Warriors did to the Tennessee Titans on Sunday, easing the Houston Texans to a 11-1 record and a guaranteed playoff berth on a day when Arian Foster gains only 53 total yards, Andre Johnson manages only 56 receiving yards and the Matt Schaub offense scores three points total in the second half.

No matter, this Bulls On Parade defense is having too much fun for anyone to notice.

Yes, FUN. In the NFL.

This was only The Game Before The Game — the appetizer before the Monday Night Football showdown with those haughty, longtime AFC overlord New England Patriots in Foxboro — but it's the game that turned out to give the Texans a heck of a cushion in a conference that is rapidly slipping away from Belichick and Brady.

Thanks to Baltimore blowing a game at home to Pittsburgh's third-string quarterback — the kind of slip up these determined Texans have not allowed themselves this season — Houston goes into New England two games clear of every other team in the AFC for homefield advantage throughout the playoffs. And only the 9-3 Patriots, who hardly looked fearsome in Sunday's 23-16 win over a Miami team the Texans beat by 20 points, are that close.

With both Baltimore (9-3) and Denver (9-3) having lost to Houston, they are essentially each three games back with four to play.

It's good to have J.J. Watt wreaking historic havoc, putting his name alongside Reggie White for his ability to both take down and completely mess with the passing lanes of a quarterback. It's good to have Antonio Smith dominating, ending up with a sack, forced fumble and recovered fumble line that deserved to be even more impressive than that.

And it's good to have the jovial defensive mastermind running it all.

Not Your Ordinary Coach

Phillips spent part of his week of preparation, humming and singing the words to the Loggins and Messina song "Your Mama Don't Dance." He did it at press conference with reporters. He did it in team meeting rooms. Sometimes, he did it just walking through the locker room.

All because the new Titans offensive coordinator — who might be rethinking his choice of professions after seeing Phillips' Bulls sack his quarterback six times — happens to be named Dowell Loggains. Loggains, Loggins . . . get it.

It's a Wade Phillips thing. He gets a kick out of it — so everything around the Texans is lightened up.

"I don’t know that much about Loggains," Phillips tells the press. "I know his momma don’t dance and his daddy don’t rock-n-roll."

What other coach says something that silly? In the year 2012? Even Texans coach Gary Kubiak — who is no Sabanesque hardass — turns rigid as a rock when asked about any issue that goes beyond the football team. You could ask Kubiak if he enjoys Houston's weather and he'd eye the query suspiciously.

Not Wade. He is in many ways still the Son of Bum first. He likes to joke about a Dolphins offensive lineman named Richie Incognito getting away with something because he's well . . . Incognito. He even greets the ultra-locked-in Schaub with a casual "Hey Schauby" when they cross paths in the locker room.

And then the jokester goes out and schemes circles around his ultra-intense, humorless peers.

Phillips didn't have close to a full deck of players back for the Titans. All-pro corner Johnathan Joseph was out. Linebacker Bradie James was out. Linebacker Brooks Reed was out. Emergency Joseph replacement Alan Ball was out. Then, another cornerback (Brice McCain) limped off.

At one point, Kubiak claims that rookie wide receiver DeVier Posey stood on the brink of being called on to play cornerback.

Was Wade worried? Hardly. He patched it all together and still left Titans quarterback Jake Locker with enough nightmares to last him all offseason.

"You come in here missing some key defensive players and you think you have got to play really well offensively," Kubiak marvels in his postgame press conference. "And we turn around and maybe play as good a defensive game as we have played this year."

In truth, it's been a long time since Belichick has schemed this well. You can reasonably argue that the Patriots have never been the same since Spygate hit and he was forced to stop cheating. Belichick has been largely living off Brady for years — with some well-placed help from the forced bluster of Rex Ryan.

Brady hasn't been quite so clutch without those taping assists though — and you can see the balance of power in the AFC shifting if you look closely enough.

Belichick spends time whining about suspensions now, and life around the Patriots seems even less fun than usual. There was a time when even Belichick would put on a hat after winning his division. But not after this uneven Miami win clinched another.

It'd be fitting to see Wade Phillips' defense deliver a death knell to the Gloom Era on Monday Night. Let Silly reign.