Rock stars in spandex
Inside Lance Armstrong's Austin-area ranch: Where free beer & mountain bikersreign
It's not every day a world-class athlete opens the gates of his private getaway grounds and allows you inside to play for the weekend.
But then again, there's just something about being a mountain biker in Texas that makes you want to share the rocky, singletrack wealth.
Even though he was noticeably absent, Lance Armstrong's yellow-hued influence was in the air this past Saturday and Sunday at his sprawling, 450-acre ranch, Dead Man's Hole — colloquially called Juan Pelota Ranch, after Armstrong's alter ego.
Almost 1,000 trail-hungry riders kept the rubber side down at the 2011 Mellow Johnny's Classic off-road biking fiesta. Sponsored by the bike shop in Austin owned by Armstrong bearing the same name, the destination features rocky, undulating, fun as hell trails only half an hour from Austin, nestled deep in the heart of Texas Hill Country.
From the novice to the professional, mountain bike lovers from all over the world (yes, the world) flocked to Armstrong's not-so-humble Dripping Springs abode. Despite the course being fairly technical and not particularly beginner-friendly, Mr. Livestrong only opens the ranch to the pedaling plebeians for riding a few times a year.
Rumor also has it that since the ranch is up for sale, there will be fewer and fewer bike festivals on the premises in the future.
So if your knobbies want a brush with Lance's dirt, you register for the bike races as you're told — no matter what your skill level.
This year, even without the world's most lauded pedal pusher milling about, the level of excitement at Juan Pelota Ranch was still off the chain.
Think of Mellow Johnny's Classic as a music festival meshed with an athletic adult playground. Except the real rock stars of the show are sporting spandex, and splashed with the logos of companies which you patronize so often, you should probably own stock in them.
Armstrong may not have been around to woo and wow the crowds, but the race's reputation drew professional cyclists from across the cycling scene. American Georgia Gould and Canadian Max Plaxton — this year's pro category winners — were among the dense field of pros that made you wonder how legs can move that quickly.
And then there's the residual goodwill of the Lance factor that effectively lets the fans benefit from his high profile. From race day headache makers (can you say "rock ledges"?) to headache fixers (free SRAM maintenance to fix what you broke while pedal mashing), Mellow Johnny's made sure riders got the royal treatment.
But not just during the race. From weekend-long free hangover makers (unlimited Michelob Ultra and Michelob Ultra Amber, for which Armstrong is a spokesman) to flowing water bottles full of free hangover cures (the electrolyte nectar of the gods, nuun), Juan Pelota Ranch might feel like the dustier, windier, hillier version of paradise.
For two days, there's nothing on the agenda but riders, riding, and rides. It's enough to make a city slicker give up that hallowed urban lifestyle — if only every weekend could be just like this.