Shelby About Town

How to commit Social Suicide in Houston (it's easier than being part of the RealHousewives)

A sure way to social suicide: Act the stereotypical Texan — boisterous,ill-mannered, demanding and don't forget drunk. Role Model:The Rich Texan akaSen. Shady Bird Johnson on" The Simpsons."
Financially screw your friends like Bernard Madoff and see how long theinvitations keep coming.
Photo by Stuart Ramson/AP
Public bickering a la Martha and George in "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?"will guarantee social ostracism.
The wanton ways of Michelle Pfeiffer in "The Age of Innocence"might not beenough inside the Loop to merit being socially black-balled.
Choose your playmates carefully. Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction" -- need wesay anything more.

Tired of strutting through the vaunted halls of the city's social establishment? Weary of jostling for the best tables at RDG and Tony's? Had it with dressing up for the black-tie galas and springing for those pricy dance floor tables?

CultureMap to the rescue.

We have a few suggestions for committing Social Suicide in H-Town, guaranteed to have you banned from all the right places and eliminated from every important invitation list.

Interestingly, while sleeping with your best friend's spouse is parallel to a death wish in some circles, it's not a permanent affliction Inside The Loop. No worries there. Even "accidentally" shooting your spouse in the back has not been enough to blast certain names into oblivion.

It's going to take some rather creative shenanigans to earn a spot in social hell. Herewith, we give it our best.

1. Embezzle from your friends

Nothing says lovin' like stealin' hard-earned greenbacks from your buddies. You will not be forgiven. There are those here who made that mistake two decades ago and are continuing to live in societal shame. Early Bernard Madoffs at play.

2. Consistently skip out on your charitable commitments

Reserve a big table at a black-tie gala and fail to pony up the $10,000 or $20,000 or even $50,000 that you promised. Do it more than once or twice and you will be relegated to the ranks of the great unwashed.

3. Do your best to be chronically late

Make everyone wait for you on every occasion — dinner parties, charity galas, private jets, drinks in the bar. Add to the mix by standing friends up on occasion — particularly at seated dinners in private homes — as icing on this exasperating cake. Keep at it and watch those social connections quickly go up in smoke.

4. Wear clothes that reek of moth balls

Nothing says low-brow, unsophisticated more loudly than pungent eau de camphor. And it's so annoying when trying to savor the lobster bisque. We won't stand for it.

5. Dare to drive a rattletrap

Even an eco-friendly Prius is suspect in circles more accustomed to Bentleys and Jaguars than Toyota and Ford

6. Regularly engage in obnoxious behavior

Act the stereotypical Texan — boisterous, ill-mannered, demanding and don't forget drunk. The Rich Texan aka Sen. Shady Bird Johnson on The Simpsons would be a good role model for those with a black-tie death wish. Such bores are not long-lived in Houston social circles.

7. As a couple, air your dirty laundry in public, bicker, criticize one another and, a personal favorite, complain about what a failure your husband/wife is

Enter George and Martha from Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? That unbecoming behavior will guarantee the end of invitations faster than swine flu.

8. Default on your naming rights — as in promise lots more than you can deliver

A change of heart, a change of fortune, no matter. If your ego is large enough for you to put your name up in lights on a theater, library or hospital, better make sure that your discretionary income is ample enough to cover the commitment.

9. Engage in an illicit love affair in which your Fatal Attraction hires a hitman to snuff out your spouse

That'll do it every time. Just ask attorney Jeffrey Stern. You won't see him at any black-tie galas anytime soon

10. Move to Bellaire

Just kidding. We love that family-friendly corner of Houston. Really.

The real No. 10 — Leave the restaurant table just in time for the check to arrive

Rush calls to the restroom, distressed text messages that must be answered — poor excuses for skipping out on the check, particularly if you are the party inviting the guests. A reputation for such chicanery soon places you at the bottom of the D list.

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Big Spenders

Retro futurism meets philanthropy as Houston museum gala raises $3.6M

Houston Museum of Natural Science Gala 2026

Photo by Daniel Ortiz

Will Lee, Britton Daugbjerg, Ella Fertitta, and Jason Fertitta.

Big spenders to the front, please.

On a night when Houston’s black-tie crowd orbited the worlds of science, style, and a little retro-futurism, the Houston Museum of Natural Science’s Futurama: A Stardust Odyssey Gala 2026 felt less like a traditional fundraiser and more like an expedition through the museum’s halls.

Chaired by Randa and Charlie Williams alongside Susanne and Joel Bartsch, the gala welcomed more than 350 guests who arrived ready to lean into the evening’s mid-century futuristic theme. Instead of a traditional program, tables were scattered throughout the museum, an intentional design that encouraged guests to roam. Blooming Gallery’s décor channeled a bright, Jetsons-inspired palette before shifting into a copper-and-marigold Mad Men mood as the evening progressed.

Let’s talk about the Vault Auction, as it had a gravitational force all its own, delivering a treasure trove of museum-worthy marvels and luxury collectibles.

Among the headliners was a jaw-dropping 90–troy-ounce crystallized gold specimen from the Beta Hunt Gold Mine in Western Australia, with a $850,000 starting bid. A Chanel brooch centered on a GIA-certified yellow sapphire had a starting bid of $180,000, while a dazzling pair of earrings featuring Paraiba tourmaline, Mahenge pink spinel, and diamonds was valued between $800,000 and $1.2 million. The crown jewel of the display? “Rocks in a Box,” a museum-quality curated mineral collection assembled by HMNS curators selling for $1.8 million.

Need a ride? We got you. A 1965 Jaguar XKE Series 1 4.2 Coupe donated by Stephanie and Frank Tsuru was up for grabs.

Gulf Coast Entertainment’s Justin and The SwingBeats Quartet filled cocktail hour with jazz standards and retro pop. Later, diners gathered in Morian Hall of Paleontology and the Morian Overlook for a multi-course meal of elevated Southern fare.

After dinner, the celebration shifted into high gear in the Grand Entry Hall. Joystix Entertainment transformed the space into a retro arcade with glowing pinball machines, Donkey Kong cabinets, and pool tables. Flamingo showgirls by J&D Entertainment strutted through the crowd. Guests danced to live music, sipped milkshakes, nibbled late-night mini grilled cheese sandwiches, and even tried their luck at claw machines filled with gemstones and minerals.

The affair became the most successful gala in the museum’s history, raising $3.6 million to support educational programs, exhibitions, and outreach initiatives.

Orbiting the scene were Mary and Ron Neal, Patty and T. Mark Kelly, Caroline and Jack Williams, Nancy and David Pustka, Cynde and Chris Stravros, Mary Helen and Pete Bowden, Meg and Dick Weekley, Al Walker, Joella and Steve Mach, Monica and Fox Benton, Lisa and Mike O’Leary, and Chandos and Ike Epley, alongside many of Houston’s leading philanthropists and community supporters.

Photo by Daniel Ortiz

Will Lee, Britton Daugbjerg, Ella Fertitta, and Jason Fertitta.