All About Events

How to plan a destination wedding from A to Z — without going mad

Planning a wedding in a city that you grew up in or have lived in for a long time can be stressful. Planning a destination wedding, however, can be down-right nightmarish.

My clients are always asking me for tips on how to plan a destination wedding — a Bible, of sorts — to help them thru it all. Thus the necessity for this planning guide … all you need to know about planning a destination wedding from A to Z is as follows:

Airfare

Whether you are paying for just your own travel or helping to pay for others, I highly advise that you contact airlines going into the locale of choice and negotiate group rates. It may also work in your favor to work with a travel agent to help secure the best flights and hotels.

Budget

This is probably the single most important thing to do when planning a wedding. Sit down with anyone who will be helping to pay for the wedding and establish a budget. Definitely invest in a financial services program such as Quicken, which will help you keep track of expenses.

Contracts

It is very important to keep a signed copy of each contract in a wedding binder. Make sure that dates, amounts, locations, times, appropriate dress, phone numbers, a detailed listing of the services provided and both parties' signatures are listed on the contract. Most contracts are standard but never sign something you are unsure about. If you have a lawyer handy it is always good to have the contract looked over.

Go through bridal magazines and cut out examples of dresses you like and take them with you the store. Have an open mind and try on other dresses. You may end up with a dress that is totally different than the one you thought you wanted.

Dress

Dresses typically take about four to six months to arrive, and usually need altering, which can take another month so allow for the time when ordering. Also, I highly suggest you don’t check your dress; take it on the plane with you.

Etiquette

In an era where anything goes, there are still something you should never do! Do not put your registry information on your wedding invitation. This information should go on shower invitations or by word of mouth.

If you don’t want children at your wedding, simply address the invitation to the parents alone. Do not put the words “No Children” on the invitation. You should always send out thank you notes as soon as possible.

Flowers

Not just for the bouquets anymore, flowers are a wonderful way to dress up the church, reception and could also be a favor to give to each guest. Check with your florist about what flowers are in season during your wedding. You can save a lot of money by choosing seasonal flowers.

If the wedding is in a tropical location or one that has lush landscapes, don’t spend a lot of money on flowers but rather incorporate what Mother Nature has graciously provided!

Guest List

Start working on your guest list as soon as you decide to get married. You will need to have a good working number to determine location and how much you will need of everything. Always make sure that both parties double check the list and make sure it fits your budget.

Hostess

Since the majority of guests coming in for the wedding, it is very nice gesture to incorporate plans and items that will help your guests have a great time. Planning a group outing that is fun and casual, and definitely host a hospitality suite where the guests can congregate. Wonderful gift baskets or room amenities, which are personalized, are also a very nice touch.

Between Mother Nature and the unstable world we live in, you never know what circumstance could arise to put a damper on your plans. With so much uncertainty, purchasing insurance is a good way to protect yourself and your investment.

Insurance

There are a number of reputable companies selling insurance at low cost.

Jewelry

This is a great gift to give your bridesmaids. Find jewelry that will complement their dresses, but will also be something they can wear after the wedding. The ladies will appreciate a gift they can use again and will always have something to remember your special day by.

Kick the Habit

Before you wedding would be a good time, to kick some of your bad habits. A great one to stop would be smoking, especially if you want to have pearly whites for the wedding day.

Legalities

Every country has a different set of laws for getting a marriage license. Some may require a set amount of time before one can be purchased. Again, my preference is that you obtain an official marriage license in the United States.

Music

This is a wonderful way to personalize you wedding. Ceremony music doesn’t always have be the same ones you have heard over and over. Ask your musicians about options and choose music that suits your personality. For the reception, always let your DJ or band know which songs you prefer to have played and especially those you don’t.

Notebook

It is always good to keep a notebook of your wedding contracts and other material. Three ring binders with pockets are great for this. Cut out pictures of flowers, cakes, dresses, etc that you like and put them under the appropriate sections. Take these with you when visiting vendors and deciding on selections.

Officiant

Most wedding destinations have a listing of officiates who are used to working with foreigners. Since you won’t spend a lot of time with your officiate, contact them in advance to determine the exact format of your wedding. Most perform a vast number of weddings and will be a good resource of ideas and suggestions on ways to personalize the ceremony.

Photography

Good photographers are worth their weight in gold and book quickly, especially during the popular months. Give them a detailed listing of the shots that you want. Know you style! Also don’t be afraid to book your photographer where you live and pay for them to fly to your location, it is quite the norm.

Quit

Stressing that is. If you find the whole process of planning a wedding overwhelming, there are professional coordinators who will help. Different planners offer a variety of services, so you should have not problem finding one to suit your needs.

Reception

Destination weddings are usually less formal in nature. Keep this in mind when deciding on the theme and design of your reception.

There are so many different ways to save money. Changing the day to one other than a Saturday is the best one. Most venues and vendors will be less expensive on an off-peak day or off peak season. Be creative and flexible!

Saving Money

There are so many different ways to save money. Changing the day to one other than a Saturday is the best one.

Most venues and vendors will be less expensive on an off-peak day or off peak season. Be creative and flexible!

Timelines

Set up a timeline of events. If you are looking for help, most bridal magazines have detailed timelines. Give a schedule of events to all your vendors and wedding party.

Unwind

The wedding weekend can be quite stressful, especially in dealing with travel. It is highly advised that you travel early and book yourself some down time for rest and relaxation.

Vendors

In planning a destination wedding, it can be very stressful and time consuming trying to book all your vendors, especially if you are going someplace that you don’t speak the language. Most countries have what are known as tourism offices. They are designed to help you with the plans and will give you lists of reputable vendors to work with.

Most vendors have websites, which are helpful to see their work but it is also great to get references. Hotel concierges are a great resource as well.

Website

Use the Internet to your advantage. It is a wonderful source of information and ideas. If you are computer savvy, set up your own website or mini-blog with all the details of wedding. After the event, post photos for your guests to enjoy.

X tras

On you wedding day, have extra personal items in case of emergencies. Put a kit together of hose, lipstick, scissors, hairspray, and other items you might need.

Your Style

Whether you are having an island wedding or one at a Scottish castle, try to infuse elements into the event that reflect your personal style. You want the guests to leave knowing that it was definitely your wedding, your way.

Zippadeedooda

You are getting married! Have a blast and enjoy your special day. Don’t get so bogged down in the details that you forget what this day is truly about

CultureMap contributor Deborah Elias is the founder and president of Elias Events.

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give me shelter

Meet the Houston architects teaching refugees to build permanent homes

Photo by Moses Sawasawa

Every Shelter educates communities on how to build homes using brick molds and local, organic materials.

Two Rice architecture alums, and former Gensler Houston interns, Sam Brisendine and Scott Key are utilizing their top-tier education and expertise to make serious waves on a global level — and Gensler wants everyone to know about it. June is Global Giveback Month at the international design and architecture firm, and Every Shelter, the charitable organization founded by Brisendine and Key, is getting the spotlight with a new exhibit in the lobby of Gensler’s office in downtown Houston titled “Why We Flee.”

Photographed by 26-year-old war photojournalist Moses Sawasawa, “Why We Flee” shines a light on one of the world’s largest drivers of human displacement today: an endless conflict in the Democratic Republic of Congo, or DRC. Also on display are the common goods that Every Shelter helps to repurpose into supplies and tools that refugees can then use to design and build their own permanent homes themselves.

Every Shelter focuses on designing, building, and supplying permanent shelter solutions for homeless and displaced war and natural disaster refugees. Based in Houston, TX, and Kampala, Uganda, Every Shelter works directly with newly-arriving refugees from the DRC in Nakivale Refugee Settlement in the southwest of the country.

Every Shelter is unique in that they are “community led, expert supported,” and teach communities how to design and build for their own communities. Megan Mark, director of advancement at Every Shelter, tells CultureMap about a design studio that they are currently piloting at their Ugandan office.

“We have a humanitarian aid architect there and a program manager. They work with the social innovation leads, who are typically refugees who we’ve employed to help us navigate refugees’ needs in the context of the environment that they are in,” she says. “A refugee who is in Turkey doesn’t have the same needs as a refugee in Uganda. Right now we have three architects who are still in school.”

Humanitarian aid architects spend nine weeks leading an architecture and design curriculum for refugees between the ages of 18-30 years old. At the end of the nine weeks, the students will have designed a solution, or “intervention” as Every Shelter calls it, for a need that they have in the community.

“We are really excited to see what they come up with,” says Lauren Hanson, community manager at Every Shelter. “We teach refugees how to make things, then certify them to be the teachers. Then they can go make their own, they can sell their own, they can even start their own business teaching others how to make these things. We want to give the power to them to take whatever intervention we come up with and utilize it. They can take any idea and scale it, and that’s what we want to happen.”

The most coveted shelter solution by far has been the brick molds that Every Shelter supplies to the communities. While brick molds are nothing new, availability has been scarce. With high demand and low supply, local rental fees for these tools skyrocketed. The UN and the Ugandan government supply refugees with land, a UN tarp, a few poles, and a small amount of money to get settled. Refugees tend to spend 10-26 years in these settlements, far longer than the 3-6 month lifespan of a UN-supplied tarp.

By supplying brick molds and an invaluable education in building and design — especially lessons on making bricks from local organic matter — Every Shelter can get families from living under a tarp to living in a brick home in about a year. The brick molds cost under $10 to make, and the savings from potential rental fees ($130) is the equivalent of three months of food per household, which is a huge savings for families who are trying to get their children into schools.

Communities band together to share molds and can work together to allocate bricks in an efficient manner. One house requires approximately 1,500 bricks, and with lessons from Every Shelter, families can design and build homes that best fit their individual needs. Skylights are designed and built using recycled water bottles, and decommissioned billboards are treated and up-cycled into roofing and floor tiles, which have a lifespan of about eight years. Lessons in home repair are also instrumental for those who may need them down the line.

The focus that Every Shelter places on design, architecture, and construction in underserved communities is something that resonates deeply with Gensler. Stephanie Burritt, managing director and principal at Gensler Houston, certainly feels a connection to the organization’s ethos.

“When they came to us and told us what they are doing, it was just hand-in-glove in terms of how it fit with our global giveback and our focus on homelessness, and it just made a lot of sense,” Burritt tells CultureMap. “We have happy hours here with contractors, employees, vendors, and everyone who walks through here all the time asks us what this is that we are showcasing and how they can help.”

Gensler’s summer intern class arrived the same week as the “Why We Flee” installation, and Burritt thinks it has been a good thing for them to see. “I think, for them, it was super exciting to see somebody who had been an intern — 12 years ago, or whatever it was — and go ‘Oh, wow! This is the kind of impact I can have at some point in my career that’s beyond what you see in our day-to-day work at Gensler.’ And I think that’s really special.”

Every Shelter co-founder Scott Key enlisted college friend and curator Ben Rasmussen to oversee the installation of the exhibition. As for the subject matter, Rasmussen wants the show to be experienced in a fluid way. “Wherever you enter is how you experience it,” he says. “It can be moved through in whatever way people choose, and that sort of personal way of moving through the work kind of echoes the sort of chaotic way that people experience it on the ground. So we wanted for that to exist in a way that people can see it, without trying to force an education on a really long-running and complex conflict.”

One benefit of the exhibition is the amount of exposure that Every Shelter is receiving from Gensler’s local contractors and vendors, with labor and materials contributions for the organization’s new Heights-area office already pouring in. “Why We Flee” hopes to find a new home after its time at Gensler comes to a close at the end of the summer, so check in with Every Shelter if a trip to Gensler this summer isn’t in the cards.

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See “Why We Flee" Monday-Friday from 9 am-5 pm at Gensler’s Houston office in 2 Houston Center (909 Fannin Street, Suite 200).

Photo by Moses Sawasawa

Every Shelter educates communities on how to build homes using brick molds and local, organic materials.

home-design architecture every shelter gensler