Planning a wedding in a city that you grew up in or have lived in for a long time can be stressful. Planning a destination wedding, however, can be down-right nightmarish.

My clients are always asking me for tips on how to plan a destination wedding — a Bible, of sorts — to help them thru it all. Thus the necessity for this planning guide … all you need to know about planning a destination wedding from A to Z is as follows:

Airfare

Whether you are paying for just your own travel or helping to pay for others, I highly advise that you contact airlines going into the locale of choice and negotiate group rates. It may also work in your favor to work with a travel agent to help secure the best flights and hotels.

Budget

This is probably the single most important thing to do when planning a wedding. Sit down with anyone who will be helping to pay for the wedding and establish a budget. Definitely invest in a financial services program such as Quicken, which will help you keep track of expenses.

Contracts

It is very important to keep a signed copy of each contract in a wedding binder. Make sure that dates, amounts, locations, times, appropriate dress, phone numbers, a detailed listing of the services provided and both parties' signatures are listed on the contract. Most contracts are standard but never sign something you are unsure about. If you have a lawyer handy it is always good to have the contract looked over.

Dress

Go through bridal magazines and cut out examples of dresses you like and take them with you the store. Have an open mind and try on other dresses. You may end up with a dress that is totally different than the one you thought you wanted.

Dresses typically take about four to six months to arrive, and usually need altering, which can take another month so allow for the time when ordering. Also, I highly suggest you don’t check your dress; take it on the plane with you.

Etiquette

In an era where anything goes, there are still something you should never do! Do not put your registry information on your wedding invitation. This information should go on shower invitations or by word of mouth.

If you don’t want children at your wedding, simply address the invitation to the parents alone. Do not put the words “No Children” on the invitation. You should always send out thank you notes as soon as possible.

Flowers

Not just for the bouquets anymore, flowers are a wonderful way to dress up the church, reception and could also be a favor to give to each guest. Check with your florist about what flowers are in season during your wedding. You can save a lot of money by choosing seasonal flowers.

If the wedding is in a tropical location or one that has lush landscapes, don’t spend a lot of money on flowers but rather incorporate what Mother Nature has graciously provided!

Guest List

Start working on your guest list as soon as you decide to get married. You will need to have a good working number to determine location and how much you will need of everything. Always make sure that both parties double check the list and make sure it fits your budget.

Hostess

Since the majority of guests coming in for the wedding, it is very nice gesture to incorporate plans and items that will help your guests have a great time. Planning a group outing that is fun and casual, and definitely host a hospitality suite where the guests can congregate. Wonderful gift baskets or room amenities, which are personalized, are also a very nice touch.

Insurance

Between Mother Nature and the unstable world we live in, you never know what circumstance could arise to put a damper on your plans. With so much uncertainty, purchasing insurance is a good way to protect yourself and your investment.

There are a number of reputable companies selling insurance at low cost.

Jewelry

This is a great gift to give your bridesmaids. Find jewelry that will complement their dresses, but will also be something they can wear after the wedding. The ladies will appreciate a gift they can use again and will always have something to remember your special day by.

Kick the Habit

Before you wedding would be a good time, to kick some of your bad habits. A great one to stop would be smoking, especially if you want to have pearly whites for the wedding day.

Legalities

Every country has a different set of laws for getting a marriage license. Some may require a set amount of time before one can be purchased. Again, my preference is that you obtain an official marriage license in the United States.

Music

This is a wonderful way to personalize you wedding. Ceremony music doesn’t always have be the same ones you have heard over and over. Ask your musicians about options and choose music that suits your personality. For the reception, always let your DJ or band know which songs you prefer to have played and especially those you don’t.

Notebook

It is always good to keep a notebook of your wedding contracts and other material. Three ring binders with pockets are great for this. Cut out pictures of flowers, cakes, dresses, etc that you like and put them under the appropriate sections. Take these with you when visiting vendors and deciding on selections.

Officiant

Most wedding destinations have a listing of officiates who are used to working with foreigners. Since you won’t spend a lot of time with your officiate, contact them in advance to determine the exact format of your wedding. Most perform a vast number of weddings and will be a good resource of ideas and suggestions on ways to personalize the ceremony.

Photography

Good photographers are worth their weight in gold and book quickly, especially during the popular months. Give them a detailed listing of the shots that you want. Know you style! Also don’t be afraid to book your photographer where you live and pay for them to fly to your location, it is quite the norm.

Quit

Stressing that is. If you find the whole process of planning a wedding overwhelming, there are professional coordinators who will help. Different planners offer a variety of services, so you should have not problem finding one to suit your needs.

Reception

Destination weddings are usually less formal in nature. Keep this in mind when deciding on the theme and design of your reception.

Saving Money

There are so many different ways to save money. Changing the day to one other than a Saturday is the best one.

Most venues and vendors will be less expensive on an off-peak day or off peak season. Be creative and flexible!

Timelines

Set up a timeline of events. If you are looking for help, most bridal magazines have detailed timelines. Give a schedule of events to all your vendors and wedding party.

Unwind

The wedding weekend can be quite stressful, especially in dealing with travel. It is highly advised that you travel early and book yourself some down time for rest and relaxation.

Vendors

In planning a destination wedding, it can be very stressful and time consuming trying to book all your vendors, especially if you are going someplace that you don’t speak the language. Most countries have what are known as tourism offices. They are designed to help you with the plans and will give you lists of reputable vendors to work with.

Most vendors have websites, which are helpful to see their work but it is also great to get references. Hotel concierges are a great resource as well.

Website

Use the Internet to your advantage. It is a wonderful source of information and ideas. If you are computer savvy, set up your own website or mini-blog with all the details of wedding. After the event, post photos for your guests to enjoy.

X tras

On you wedding day, have extra personal items in case of emergencies. Put a kit together of hose, lipstick, scissors, hairspray, and other items you might need.

Your Style

Whether you are having an island wedding or one at a Scottish castle, try to infuse elements into the event that reflect your personal style. You want the guests to leave knowing that it was definitely your wedding, your way.

Zippadeedooda

You are getting married! Have a blast and enjoy your special day. Don’t get so bogged down in the details that you forget what this day is truly about

CultureMap contributor Deborah Elias is the founder and president of Elias Events.