Movie Review

Ripped Jake Gyllenhaal is the best part of stilted Road House remake

Jake Gyllenhaal in Road House.

Photo courtesy of Prime Video

Within the first five minutes of Road House, Elwood Dalton (Jake Gyllenhaal) “wins” a fight just by showing up and then intimidates another man who has just stabbed him by using just his words. A musclebound man not having to actually be violent is a solid start for the remake of the 1989 Patrick Swayze movie, but as it turns out, it’s also the movie’s high point.

The film, streaming exclusively on Prime Video, doesn’t follow the exact plot of the original movie, but might have been better off if it did. In this version, Dalton is a down-on-his-luck former UFC fighter winning money in underground fights. That’s where Frankie (Jessica Williams) finds him, inviting him to be the bouncer at her road house in the Florida Keys to help control the rowdy clientele.

Dalton does his job a little too well once he arrives, sending a steady stream of toughs to the hospital, where he meets ER doctor Ellie (Daniela Melchior). He soon discovers that the near-constant fighting at the road house is not just people acting out while drunk, but a plot by local entrepreneur Ben Brandt (Billy Magnussen) to drive the place out of business so he can build a resort on the prime property.

The filmmakers – director Doug Liman and writers Anthony Bagarozzi and Chuck Mondry – have the clear intention of trying to make the film into cheesy fun, but they can’t seem to punch their way past just plain bad. Nothing makes sense in the set-up of the movie – why this town is full of aggro men, why multiple different bands continue to play music as the fighting rages, how Frankie can afford $5,000 a week to pay Dalton, and more. The movie moves from scene to scene quickly, so swiftly that it seems that the filmmakers don’t want the audience to think about anything too much.

Pretty much every character who isn’t Dalton comes off as strange, as if there was something in the water in the low-rent town that doesn’t allow them to act in a normal manner. The introductions for the characters are stilted at best, and the dialogue that Bagarozzia and Mondry have them say is just awful, with nothing coming close to being either clever or interesting. The script is so aggressively bad that it’s a wonder that a talented actor like Gyllenhaal would agree to be a part of the film at all.

Of course, the draw for a film like this is not characters talking, but the multiple fights between Dalton and anyone who crosses his path. While a few of them are solid, the random nature of the brawls prevents them from being effective overall. There is also some extraordinarily bad CGI used at certain points, moving characters or objects across the screen at lightning speed in a very distracting manner that offsets any excitement the scenes might otherwise have had.

Gyllenhaal’s ripped body is a special effect of its own, and he makes the most of his scenes despite the eye-rolling lines he’s occasionally required to say. Williams and Magnussen are better actors than they’re given a chance to be here. The inclusion of a non-actor like fighter Conor McGregor (Post Malone also makes a brief appearance) would normally be over-the-top fun, but his performance feels like it belongs it completely different type of movie.

Road House, which often seems to be as much about showcasing a series of random bands as it is about a seemingly invincible bouncer, comes nowhere close to matching the “so bad it’s good” nature of the original film. Instead, it’s just a bunch of quickly-edited scenes designed to give the impression that thrilling stuff is happening, a subterfuge that is easy to see past.

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Road House is now streaming on Prime Video.

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weekend event planner

Here are the top 14 things to do in Houston this Easter weekend

Photo courtesy of New Edition

New Edition will perform at the Toyota Center this Saturday.

It’s Easter weekend, which means lots of people will be gathering with their families for a special brunch.

For those parents who don’t want to take their kids to another dang Easter egg hunt, several Disney-related happenings are going down this weekend, including a chance to see Disney characters get their Alysa Liu on.

Photo courtesy of New Edition

New Edition will perform at the Toyota Center this Saturday.

Houstonians can also attend a “conspiracy theory night,” a musical adaptation of a beloved summer blockbuster, and live music from Ronnie, Bobby, Johnny, Ricky, and Mike (don’t forget about Ralph)!

Thursday, April 2

Mid Main Houston presents First Thursday Block Party
Let’s see what the folks at Mid Main Houston have geared up this month’s First Thursday Block Party. The Orange Show for Visionary Art is this month’s nonprofit partner. Mermaid Junction, Tarot Bingo, Beetle, and Alex Lambert will provide live music, while DJ Boogie Soul spins in the breezeway. Artist Abigail Simpson will be showing her solo exhibition State of Feeling at Mid Main Gallery. Also, traveling Top Chef finalist Dawn Burrell's pop-up Philly Jawn will be serving cheesesteaks at Alley Kat Bar & Lounge, with DJ Flash Gordon Parks serving up tunes. 6 pm.

Moody Center for the Arts at Rice University presents Opening Reception for Moody Project Wall: Nick Vaughan and Jake Margolin
Celebrate the opening of interdisciplinary artists Nick Vaughan and Jake Margolin’s collaborative installation at Moody Project Wall, titled I remember this one time. . . Vaughan and Margolin draw on their joint, research-driven practice, which pieces together fragments of LGBTQ+ history to uncover, reanimate, and share stories that might otherwise be lost. The installation includes personal memories, archival histories, images, objects, and ephemera collected from Rice students and the Houston area. Through Saturday, August 15. 6 pm.

Doc’s Jazz Club presents Doc’s Presents: Veronica Swift
Doc’s Jazz Club (located in the historic Montrose building that housed the Tower Theatre) celebrates its half-year milestone and Jazz Appreciation Month with a new concert series set to light up the marquee on Thursday nights. The season begins with a performance by jazz sensation Veronica Swift. A couple Thursdays from now, rising star/former The Voice contestant Wyatt Michael will join forces with The Graeme Francis Orchestra to perform the Sinatra at the Sands live album in its entirety. 7 & 9:30 pm.

Friday, April 3

CLASS Bookstore Presents: The Tin Foil Kufi Symposium - April 2026 Edition
Do you have a conspiracy theory that you’ve wanted to discuss with a group of like-minded ~~crackpots~~ thinkers? Thankfully, CLASS Bookstore now has a monthly night for people to present their theories, no matter how weird or unbelievable they may sound. So, whether you think the Illuminati is real, Tupac and Biggie are lounging on a beach somewhere, or Sydney Sweeney is a government decoy set up to lure dudebros into going MAGA (that’s one been on our minds), you now have a place to call home. 7 pm.

The Museum of Fine Arts, Houston presents Mr Nobody Against Putin
Pasha Talankin is a beloved Russian primary-school teacher, mentor, and prankster. After Russia invaded Ukraine, Talankin is forced to promote state-sanctioned messages and is horrified by the transformation of his school and community. He soon becomes an international whistleblower, documenting the rise of militarized children’s groups, repressive laws, and fervent nationalism. Winner of multiple film-festival awards, Mr Nobody Against Putin also won the Oscar for Best Documentary Feature at this year’s Academy Awards. 7 pm (5 pm Sunday).

Houston Symphony presents Disney’s Fantasia In Concert
Let’s say you convinced your fam to see Disney’s 1940 masterwork Fantasia back when you were eight. But since the movie’s music is mostly classical, you dipped out during the dancing-hippos section and never finished watching it. Here's the chance to rectify the situation. Stunning animation will fill the giant screen at Jones Hall while the Houston Symphony brings the soundtrack to life, including favorites like Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony, Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker Suite, and The Sorcerer’s Apprentice. 7:30 pm (2 & 7:30 pm Saturday).

Theatre Under the Stars presents Back to the Future the Musical
Back to the Future, the beloved cinematic classic, is now a Broadway musical. When Marty McFly finds himself transported back to 1955 in a time machine built by the eccentric scientist Doc Brown, he accidentally changes the course of history. Now, he’s in a race against time to fix the present, escape the past, and send himself… back to the future. The production features original music by Alan Silvestri and Glen Ballard alongside hit songs from the movie. 8 pm (7:30 pm Thursday; 2 & 8 pm Saturday; 2 & 7:30 pm Sunday).

Saturday, April 4

Disney On Ice: Jump In!
In Disney On Ice: Jump In!, classic characters Mickey, Minnie, Donald, and Goofy use the Magical MousePad to journey into the heart of other Disney tales, including Moana 2 and Inside Out 2 — bringing new characters like Anxiety to the ice for the first time. Audiences will also see Stitch from Lilo & Stitch, the bustling metropolis of Zootopia, the icy realms of Frozen, the playful universe of Toy Story, the vibrant world of Encanto, and Disney princesses like Ariel, Jasmine, Rapunzel, and Tiana. 11 am, 3 & 7 pm (7 pm Thursday; 11 am, 3 & 7 pm Friday; 3 pm Sunday).

Karbach Brewing Co. and Space Center Houston present Space News & Brews
Karbach Brewing Co. will team up with Space Center Houston for an unforgettable afternoon of craft beer and cosmic conversation. Mingle with fellow space enthusiasts and enjoy an exclusive ask-me-anything session with NASA astronaut Toni Antonelli and space expert Chris Matty. Attendees will be able to immerse themselves in a pub-style discussion with space experts about important space science and exploration news they may have missed, plus what’s coming up that they'll want to learn about. 2 pm.

Cactus Music presents George Ducas – In-Store Performance
Galveston-born, Grammy-nominated country singer George Ducas has had multiple Billboard chart hits, including his signature breakout “Lipstick Promises," and has even written hit records for all-timers like George Jones, Garth Brooks, The Chicks, and Trisha Yearwood. After dropping his 2024 effort Long Way From Home, Ducas is now that person moving the sound forward, while always respecting what has come before him. He’ll be performing songs from Home and others during a live performance at Cactus Music this weekend. 3 pm.

New Edition in concert with Boyz II Men and Toni Braxton
The New Edition Way Tour brings together three of music’s most enduring and influential acts: New Edition, Boyz II Men, and Toni Braxton. The concert celebrates music, legacy, and connection, offering fans an opportunity to experience the legendary artists performing together. New Edition stands as the ultimate supergroup, paving the way for the modern boy band phenomenon that inspired groups like New Kids on the Block, Backstreet Boys, and the K-pop phenomenon. 8 pm.

Sunday, April 5

Bunnies on the Bayou 47
Bunnies on the Bayou returns to Sesquintennial Park in downtown Houston, celebrating its 47th year with a bold affirmation of life, love, and collective power under the 2026 theme, Resistance in Bloom. The park will transform into an outdoor celebration of music, movement, and community. People can expect live DJs on the main stage, dancing, sponsor activations, drinks, food for purchase, and shared moments that remind us why gathering still matters. This is a 21+ event with no exceptions. 1 pm.

Rooftop Cinema Club Uptown presents Zootopia 2
Hop on over to Rooftop Cinema Club Uptown for an Easter celebration that’s big on magic and even bigger on fun. Enjoy the springtime atmosphere at the outdoor venue, where kids get to meet the Easter Bunny when the doors open. It all leads up to a rooftop screening of the recent hit sequel Zootopia 2, featuring everyone’s favorite bunny detective, Judy Hopps. Seating is first-come-first-serve, and no outside food or drink allowed. 3 pm.

Houston Polo Club 2026 Season
The Houston Polo Club returns with world-class play, champagne moments, and a social scene unlike anywhere else in the city. Its 2026 season features 10 spring matches and 10 fall matches, each of which features a player parade, expert announcing, live music, a champagne divot stomp at halftime, and a special trophy presentation. Things will kick off this weekend with the Spring Cup, where kids can bring their Easter baskets for a candy toss at halftime. 5 pm.

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