Rumors were flying Monday morning as Lil' Kim fans feared the worst — that the Queen Bee herself was dead.
It simply couldn't be. Lil' Kim posted on Twitter Sunday night, a retweet from Kourtney Kardashian offering Kim's famous words: "You wanna bumble with the bee, huh? Throw a hex on the whole family."
But relax, it was Kim Jong Il who left us instead, leaving a trail of confused Twitter posts lovingly captured by viral Internet content combers BuzzFeed in "25 People Who Thought Lil' Kim Died."
"I haven't been online one morning and Lil Kim died? Oh my goodness," posted Fuzzy Wuzzy.
"Wait, Lil' Kim died last night?" asked former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick.
"First Hitchens, now Lil' Kim — bad week for atheists," wrote Bill Maher.
In other Kim-comparison news, Mother Jones reposted a chart from its May/June issue from 2003, measuring the Korean leader against the former Junior MAFIA member. Looking at 13 points of notoriety, Jong Il was given the edge.
Fair enough . . . The guy did have an armored train, after all.
Andrew Garfield, Delilah Bennett-Cardy, Claire Foy, Phoenix Laroche, and Billie Gadson in The Magic Faraway Tree.
With kids and families always on the hunt for entertainment, it’s typically a safe bet for a movie studio to offer up something new, even if it is a film based on an old property. The Magic Faraway Tree, based on a series of books that started in the 1930s, is a very old property, one that its filmmakers have tried to liven up with a few stars, a lot of whimsy, and a boatload of CGI.
The Thompson family, led by stay-at-home dad Tim (Andrew Garfield) and breadwinner mom Polly (Claire Foy), are forced to move to a rundown country home when Polly gets laid off. The kids — Joe (Phoenix Laroche), Fran (Billie Gadson), and Beth (Delilah Bennett-Cardy) — are used to the perks of city life like wifi and electricity, and each of them rebels in their own way to their new lot in life.
Fran, enticed by a fairy named Silky (Nicola Coughlan), is the first to venture out of the house, making her way to a magic tree that transports her to a world full of strange characters like Moonface (Nonso Anozie), Saucepan Man (Dustin Demri-Burns), Dame Washalot (Jessica Gunning), and more. Her adventures there not only broaden the world she thought she knew, but may be the key to helping her ailing family.
Directed by Ben Gregor and written by Simon Farnaby (Paddington 2, Wonka), the film is a pleasant enough lark, but it fails to fully capture the imagination. The five-member family has a lot going on, from an initially-mute Fran to a domestic situation that raises more questions than it answers. The film tries to incorporate an anti-technology message through Tim’s hatred of a smart refrigerator (voiced by Judi Dench!) and the kids' addictions to devices, but it’s quickly shed in favor of other options.
Once Fran makes it to the Magic Faraway Tree, there’s a nice shift in the storytelling, but it’s unclear what the ultimate goal is. It’s a good idea to have Fran, the youngest of the children, convince her older, more cynical siblings about the virtues of the magic world, but the conflict in the real world doesn’t seem to rise to the level needed for the escape the tree provides.
There also seems to be a missing link in the storytelling for viewers to understand the importance of the fantastical characters. The visuals of seeing Moonface and his crescent moon-shaped hair, a man with a suit full of banging pots, and more are fun for a while, but not enough to carry the whole film. A last-minute revelation feels like it was something that should have been disclosed much earlier to help strengthen the emotions of the story.
A two-time Oscar nominee, Garfield is making his first foray into family movies (if you don’t count playing Spider-Man), and while he does a good job, he doesn’t make the best fit for the semi-goofy role. The same goes for the Emmy-winning Foy, who isn’t given much of anything to do. The movie puts the story on the shoulders of the three child actors, and while each of them acquit themselves well, none of them are so outstanding as to be noteworthy.
With nearly 90-year-old source material, The Magic Faraway Tree needed to be something truly special to stand out in the 21st century movie world. Unfortunately, it features a mostly forgettable story that features some fun visuals, a couple of cute kids, and not much else.
---
The Magic Faraway Tree is now playing in theaters.