Domestic chore or evil empire?
It's Tom DeLay vs. Jeffrey Skilling in the battle for courtroom buzz: Who areyou rooting against more?
Two local bad boys, Jeffrey Skilling and Tom DeLay, both hit the courtroom Monday.
In Skilling's case, a three-judge Fifth Circuit Court panel will consider whether any of the 19 felony counts the former Enron CEO was convicted of in 2006 should be overturned. The U. S. Supreme ruled that an anti-fraud law was improperly used to convict Skilling and sent the case back to the circuit court. Skilling's lawyers are seeking a completely new trial.
DeLay is fighting charges that he illegally channeled $190,000 in corporate money through the Republican National Committee to help elect GOP Texas legislative candidates in 2002.
So the question is: Which is the trial to watch? Both guys are allegedly evil dudes, but does one of them seem eviler than the other?
We've weighed the pros and cons and calibrated both guys on an official scale of "not nice" to "despot." Here's why Skilling wins the game:
1. Skilling's last name just sounds evil, like, "I have evil skillz." "DeLay" is weak sounding, yet honestly appropriate for Tommy.
2. Skilling was the CEO of Enron, whereas DeLay just represented Sugar Land, grabbed a fancy title (House Majority Leader) and dropped out of Dancing with the Stars.
3. Today a three-judge panel of the New Orleans appellate court is reviewing U.S. Supreme Court verdicts on Skilling in a hearing in Houston, whereas DeLay's attorney Dick DeGuerin pleaded for his client's trial to take place in Fort Bend.
I think we can all agree that Houston and New Orleans are more fun. Bring three crazy judges from New Orleans to Houston and ... watch out!
4. More than 5,000 jobs were lost and $1 billion in employee retirement funds were erased when Enron imploded in Dec. 2001. That's a lot of evil hitting a lot of people. Skilling aimed high, whereas DeLay is accused of laundering $190,000.
Also, money laundering sounds like a pesky domestic chore for evil people, as opposed to reigning over an evil energy empire.
5. Skilling is already serving a 24-year sentence in a Colorado federal prison, which I imagine (I have a big imagination) is convenient to a ski lift. Managing to combine a prison sentence with a vacation would be respectably evil.