Blunt, funny F-bomb laden memoir

In Just Don't Call Me Ma'am, Anna Mitchael reveals how she survived her 20'swith (most of) her dignity intact

Anna Mitchael
Just Don't Call Me Ma'am

At 29 years old, still favored with perky breasts and an appetite to climb the corporate ladder, I met my new BFF, a glimmer of hope and inspiration.

In paperback form.

Just Don’t Call Me Ma’am, a 239-page F-bomb laden memoir written by a woman with an eerily similar background chronicling our eerily similar perversely twisted lives, gave me the nudge I so desperately needed. The same nudge some many women desperately need.

Anna Mitchael, Texas native and author of the book, subtitled How I Ditched the South for the Big City, Forgot My Manners, and Managed to Survive My Twenties With (Most of) My Dignity Still Intact, surfaced in my predominately chaotic midlife crisis, which was in full swing 20 years too early. It’s important to note that a quarter-life crisis and a midlife crisis happening 20 years too early are entirely different crises.

Mitchael’s memoir of her not-so-glamorous life, which ironically enough may seem glamorous to some, is blunt. Just the way a memoir should be.

If you’re going to take the time to read someone’s memoir, especially one written at the ripe old age of 31 (note the sincere sarcasm), it better be painfully truthful, erotically embarrassing and painstakingly relatable. Mitchael’s escapades are all of the above. And then some.

By definition, a memoir is written by someone with “intimate knowledge,” and since when is intimate knowledge not embarrassing? Since when did intimate knowledge deviate from the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help you God kind of knowledge? If you’re going to take the time to read someone’s memoir, especially one written at the ripe old age of 31 (note the sincere sarcasm), it better be painfully truthful, erotically embarrassing and painstakingly relatable. Mitchael’s escapades are all of the above. And then some. You can’t help but fall in love with her frank and genuine demeanor. If you’ve never met an author who let it all hang out, let Mitchael be your first.

It gives me great pleasure after reading Mitchael’s anti-ma’am, that I am no longer a one-woman wolf pack in my thinking, “Everyone needs a vacation from themselves." It takes a damn strong woman to admit she needs a break from herself and an even stronger one to put it in writing. But Mitchael has no qualms about her vacation revelation.

Sorority pledge class leaders and lavaliere lovers, prepare yourselves for what I’m about to say. Earmuff it if you must. Mitchael is the first person I’ve ever witnessed strong enough to utter the words I’ve so been longing to say myself: SHE REGRETS PAYING FOR HER FRIENDS AND JOINING A SORORITY.

The parallels about wanting to walk away from her sorority like a bad one-night stand makes me shriek with delight and want to buy her an assortment of chocolate cupcakes for her brutal honesty. Can I get an Amen? (Sorry AOII.) I’ve been living the lie of a stereotypical sorority girl for longer than I’d like to admit, and finally, a sister dares renege her fraternal vows.

And that’s what this book is all about. A brazen young woman finally saying the words we’ve been too trite to say ourselves.

Mitchael deserves a heartfelt chest bump for her work. Not only is she completely and utterly non-PC in her book, she doesn't feel the need to sugarcoat her misfortunes and countless reckless and naïve actions (moving cross country simply because it wasn’t Texas, moving in with a boyfriend because maybe it made sense, or staying with a boyfriend because, well, what other options were there?). We all make life-altering decisions on a whim, but here's a moment’s-notice-turned-vegetarian bringing us together on a level playing field. It’s endearing to know I’m not the only one to have perfected the fetal position before the age of 25.

This isn’t a self-help book. Or a book meant to tell you how to or how not to live your life. It’s the kind of book to remind you it’s OK to make mistakes, and hell, everyone does. It’s OK to laugh at your own naivety or null bank accounts. It’s OK to write a book detailing your dirtiest darkest secrets letting others, and especially yourself, know that it’s worthwhile in the end because it gets you closer to where you’re supposed to be.

And remember, life isn’t perfect but you only have one so don’t spend too much time in the fetal position or you just may find it’s too hard to stand back up.

This writer, this woman, this Texan native lets it all hang out and inspires others to do so too. If enough women read this book, soon we’ll be a nation letting it all hang out. And I for one, cannot wait for that day.

Dear Anna,

Thank you for writing the first book I’m unwilling to let out of my collection for even a moment in fear it won’t be returned more so in fear that someone may read my embarrassing notes I’ve scribbled in the margins.

unspecified

In Memoriam

Legendary Texas singer-songwriter Joe Ely dies at 78

Joe Ely/Facebook

Joe Ely was a major figure in Texas' progressive country scene.

Joe Ely, the legendary songwriter, singer and storyteller whose career spanned more than five decades, has died from complications related to Lewy Body Dementia, Parkinson’s disease, and pneumonia. He was 78.

In a statement posted to his Facebook page, Ely died at his home in Taos, New Mexico, with his wife, Sharon, and daughter, Marie, at his side.

Born February 9, 1947, in Amarillo, Texas, Ely was raised in Lubbock and became a central figure among a generation of influential West Texas musicians. He later settled in Austin, helping shape the city’s reputation as a hub for live music.

As with many local legends, it's hard to tease out what specifically made Ely's time in Austin so great; Austin treasures its live music staples, so being around and staying authentic from the early days is often the most important thing an artist can do.

Ely got his local start at One Knight Tavern, which later became Stubb's BBQ — the artist and the famous venue share a hometown of Lubbock. He alternated nights with emerging guitar great Stevie Ray Vaughn. He built his own recording studio in Dripping Springs, and kept close relationships with other Texas musicians. Later in his career, Ely brought fans into the live music experience, publishing excerpts from his journal and musings on the road in Bonfire of Roadmaps (2010), and was inducted into the Austin City Limits Hall of Fame in 2022. Austin blues icon Marcia Ball was among Ely's friends who played the induction show.

"Joe Ely performed American roots music with the fervor of a true believer who knew music could transport souls," said Kyle Young, CEO of the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum.

In the 1970s, Ely signed with MCA Records, launching a career that included decades of recording and touring around the world. His work and performances left a lasting impact on the music scene and influenced a wide range of artists, including the Clash and Bruce Springsteen, according to Rolling Stone.

"His distinctive musical style could only have emerged from Texas, with its southwestern blend of honky-tonk, rock & roll, roadhouse blues, western swing, and conjunto. He began his career in the Flatlanders, with fellow Lubbock natives Jimmie Dale Gilmore and Butch Hancock, and he would mix their songs with his through 50 years of critically acclaimed recordings. [...]"

Read the full story at KVUE.com. CultureMap has added two paragraphs of context about the Austin portion of Ely's career.

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