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    Fitz Makeover

    Big changes for iconic Houston concert venue — beer garden, more parking and better bathrooms!

    Elizabeth Rhodes
    Aug 12, 2015 | 10:15 am

    Following last week's announcement that promotion company Pegstar will no longer host shows at Fitzgerald's — believed to be the city's oldest music venue — many Houstonians feared the worst: The venue was shutting down.

    While Pegstar's final show at the beloved venue will in fact take place on August 29, current Fitzgerald's sound engineer Lauren Oakes — who has worked there since 2004 — will take over and supervise major renovations of the building.

    So what exactly is changing?

    According to Fitzgerald's spokesperson Dutch Small, the building, which was constructed in 1918 and owned by Sara Fitzgerald since the early '70s, will be completely gutted and renovated as soon as the current tenant vacates.

    "Fitzgerald's is not going to become an unrecognizably different place," Small adds. "It will still be Fitzgerald's, it just will no longer be grimy and gritty."

    "We're taking out all the 100-year-old wiring and rewiring the whole building," Small says. "We're completely renovating all of the bathrooms and taking all of the rotten wood off of the exterior and replacing it. The second story balcony will be rebuilt and will wrap around the building.

    "We're going to have a beer garden. We're tearing down several of the houses that are adjacent and turning it into a parking, as well as completely resurfacing the entire parking lot. Most importantly to music fans, we're going to have a significant upgrade of the PA system so the sound and the acoustics — the sonic experience — will be vastly superior."

    Other improvements include a better air-conditioning system, an industrial elevator to assist bands with load-in — bands currently have to carry their equipment up a flight of exterior stairs — and a better backstage area to accommodate the artists.

    "Fitzgerald's is not going to become an unrecognizably different place," Small adds. "It will still be Fitzgerald's, it just will no longer be grimy and gritty."

    Concert celebration

    According to Small, a huge celebratory concert — the artists have yet to be announced — will take place when the venue reopens, currently set for October 3.

    "We've got target dates, but there are realities that no one can control surrounding them," he says. "The reality is that we're not in control of the city, we're not in control of the permitting process, we're not in control of what we find within those rotten walls, we're not in control of a whole lot of things that are going to be part and parcel of this restoration process and it could be that we miss our deadline, but I believe that because everyone loves the venue so much, they would rather see a delay in opening than see it done badly or incompletely."

    "It's Houston's live music church," Oakes says. "We're just making it what it always should have been."

    With Austin-based concert promotion group Transmission — known for Fun Fun Fun Fest and more than 700 events around Austin in 2014 alone — will take over booking shows for Fitzgerald's following the venue's reopening. As for the types of shows that the venue will host, you can expect changes, but nothing earth-shattering, according to Small.

    "We know that Fitzgerald's is a sacred place in the city of Houston," Small says. "We have all grown up there, and not just us, but our audience. It's not going to suddenly become a metal club, it's not going to suddenly become a hip-hop club, it's not going to suddenly become an EDM club. It's going to be Fitzgerald's.

    "We will, as a result of our improved facilities, be able to accommodate bigger acts. That's the most noticeable change in the programming is that the names will be somewhat bigger, but also, because we are all personally involved and have great relationships with local artists, the venue will still remain fully engaged in developing local talent."

    As someone who has frequented the venue since the age of 15, I'm personally excited for all of the changes. Who hasn't had a terrible experience in Fitzgerald's bathrooms or worried that their tire might blow out in their miniscule parking lot?

    Yes, things will be different, but Oakes — who said she's been paying attention to what needs to be fixed at the venue for more than a decade — assures that these changes are all for the best.

    "It's Houston's live music church," Oakes says. "We're just making it what it always should have been."

    A big renovation is planned for the iconic club Fitzgerald's.

    Fitzgerald's Houston place exterior
    Photo via fitzlive.com
    A big renovation is planned for the iconic club Fitzgerald's.
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    Movie Review

    Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

    Alex Bentley
    Dec 26, 2025 | 2:30 pm
    Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda
    Photo by Matt Grace
    Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

    In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

    The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

    Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

    Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

    The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

    It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

    Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

    Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

    ---

    Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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