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    Don't get attached to Bieber

    Teen Choice Award truths: Where the winners will be in 2020

    Steven Devadanam
    Aug 9, 2010 | 3:50 pm
    • Selena Gomez will remember this day fondly.
      Teen Choice Awards_Selena Gomez
    • Lea Michele? Unfortunately, she's this generation's Brittany Murphy.
      Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images
    • Zac Efron
    • Kim Kardashian
    • Hilary Duff will be back in Houston.
    • You'll only be able to find Justin Bieber in ads on ABC Family.

    Hollywood's obsession with nostalgia surrounding childhood stars has spawned many a Where Are They Now? magazine cover and TV special. CultureMap is putting that sentiment into hyperdrive, forecasting the fates of this year's MTV Teen Choice Awards starlets in 10 years time.

    Read on to find out who's a bitch, and who's a bigger bitch:

    Levi Johnston has become a diehard polygamist, serving as the patriarch of a household that includes Bristol Palin, Brittani Senser, Kathy Griffin and Kathy Griffin's mom. By 2020, Levi will have already recovered from Kathy releasing the much-anticipated frontal photos of what's going on inside Levi's Levi's.

    Having reached her goal weight of 70 pounds, Lea Michele is staying at UCLA rehabilitation center on a semi-permanent basis. Hanging onto life by a thread, Michelle will become the victim of her own singing in the shower — the Brittany Murphy of the 2020s.

    Choice Female Reality Star winner Kim Kardashian will have elevated her title to simply "Choice Female," creating a political office known as Queen Bee that rules over Southern California and wherever reruns of Keeping Up With the Kardashians are broadcast with an iron fist.

    Following in the footsteps of her father, Miley Cyrus will portray the parent of her own child on a Disney children's television series. She will also make herself available to play the part of Lindsay Lohan in dramatic reenactments for an E! True Hollywood Story.

    Selena Gomez devotes her days and nights to performing Wizards of Waverly Place on Ice. She still holds a candle for one day winning another Choice TV Actress award.

    A star of the West End theater world, Emma Roberts now shares a London flat with Dakota Fanning and their two cats. The platonic pair have exclusive lunches with their mentors, Meryl Streep and Kate Winslet, during which the women discuss the demise of men while speaking in Latin.

    Following two to three failed marriages with Canadian athletes, Hilary Duff will return to Houston, remarry and devote her life to moving up the rungs of the Memorial Drive Elementary School PTO. However, she will remain the representative for TrimSpa in Canada.

    Finally over his nail polish phase, Zac Efron has reinvented himself as the Sean Penn of the new decade, lobbying Washington for various limousine liberal causes and spearheading efforts to clean up the Louisiana coast after this century's fourth BP Gulf Oil spill.

    Note: Justin Bieber, winner for Choice Male Artist, Breakthrough Artist (Male), Choice Summer Music Star and Choice Pop Album was not present at the Teen Choice Awards — a harbinger of his pop culture disappearance in 10 years time. Nevertheless, Bieber will maintain his role as the face of Proactiv in commercials broadcast on ABC Family.

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    Movie Review

    Michelle Pfeiffer visits Houston in new Christmas movie Oh. What. Fun.

    Alex Bentley
    Dec 5, 2025 | 3:30 pm
    Michelle Pfeiffer in Oh. What. Fun.
    Photo courtesy of Amazon MGM Studios
    Michelle Pfeiffer in Oh. What. Fun.

    Of all the formulaic movie genres, Christmas/holiday movies are among the most predictable. No matter what the problem is that arises between family members, friends, or potential romantic partners, the stories in holiday movies are designed to give viewers a feel-good ending even if the majority of the movie makes you feel pretty bad.

    That’s certainly the case in Oh. What. Fun., in which Michelle Pfeiffer plays Claire, an underappreciated mom living in Houston with her inattentive husband, Nick (Denis Leary). As the film begins, her three children are arriving back home for Christmas: The high-strung Channing (Felicity Jones) is married to the milquetoast Doug (Jason Schwartzman); the aloof Taylor (Chloë Grace Moretz) brings home yet another new girlfriend; and the perpetual child Sammy (Dominic Sessa) has just broken up with his girlfriend.

    Each of the family members seems to be oblivious to everything Claire does for them, especially when it comes to what she really wants: For them to nominate her to win a trip to see a talk show in L.A. hosted by Zazzy Tims (Eva Longoria). When she accidentally gets left behind on a planned outing to see a show, Claire reaches her breaking point and — in a kind of Home Alone in reverse — she decides to drive across the country to get to the show herself.

    Written and directed by Michael Showalter (The Idea of You), and co-written by Chandler Baker (who wrote the short story on which the film is based), the movie never establishes any kind of enjoyable rhythm. Each of the characters, including competitive neighbor Jeanne (Joan Chen), is assigned a character trait that becomes their entire personality, with none of them allowed to evolve into something deeper.

    The filmmakers lean hard into the idea that Claire is a person who always puts her family first and receives very little in return, but the evidence presented in the story is sketchy at best. Every situation shown in the film is so superficial that tension barely exists, and the (over)reactions by Claire give her family members few opportunities to make up for their failings.

    The most interesting part of the movie comes when Claire actually makes it to the Zazzy Sims show. Even though what happens there is just as unbelievable as anything else presented in the story, Showalter and Baker concoct a scene that allows Claire and others to fully express the central theme of the film, and for a few minutes the movie actually lives up to its title.

    Pfeiffer, given her first leading role since 2020’s French Exit, is a somewhat manic presence, and her thick Texas accent and unnecessary voiceover don’t do her any favors. It seems weird to have such a strong supporting cast with almost nothing of substance to do, but almost all of them are wasted, including Danielle Brooks in a blink-and-you'll-miss-it cameo. The lone exception is Longoria, who is a blast in the few scenes she gets.

    Oh. What. Fun. is far from the first movie to try and fail at becoming a new holiday classic, but the pedigree of Showalter and the cast make this dismal viewing experience extra disappointing. Ironically, overworked and underappreciated moms deserve a much better story than the one this movie delivers.

    ---

    Oh. What. Fun. is now streaming on Prime Video.

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