weekend event planner

Here are the top 8 things to do in Houston this weekend

Laughs and wine await at a winery/comedy event.

Photo by Getty Images

Yes, this weekend promises scorching, 100-plus degree temperatures. But those who venture out will be rewarded with wines and laughs, an event entirely dedicated to Cinnamon Toast Crunch (!), and even kittens. An added value: all events are indoors.

Here, then, are your best bets for the weekend.

Thursday, August 8

The Winery Comedy Tour at Sable Gate Winery
What could be a better combo than laughing at some jokes while drinking copious amount of wine? If that's your idea of a great night out, then let us hip you to the Winery Comedy Tour. This tour has nationally recognized comedians going from town to town, performing at wineries, and sticking around for a tasting. Who are those comics? We wish we could tell ya — we can't find info on who's actually performing. But, whoever they are, expect them to both joke and booze it up. 7:30 pm.

Food 4 Thot Live at Warehouse Live
Why didn't anyone tell us there is a podcast out there called Food 4 Thot? Just the cheeky title alone makes it sound like something that's right up our alley. This show features four "thots" — Tommy "Teebs" Pico, Fran Tirado, Dennis Norris II, and Joe Osmundson — discussing sex, relationships, race, identity, what they like to read, and who they like to read. This roundtable of rosé lovers will be coming around these parts and doing their show live; expect a lot of tea spillage. 10 pm.

Friday, August 9

The Cinnaverse Experience at Baybrook Mall
To celebrate the new look of breakfast cereal Cinnamon Toast Crunch this fall, this multi-sensory, pop-up event is coming to town. It includes a series of four rooms with experiential elements built around the brand’s combination of cinnamon sugar and crunch. Guests will smell the aroma of Cinnamist while walking through the Cinna-Swirl Vortex, feel the crunch of the floor in the Cinna-Crunch Zone, and taste the delicious Cinnamilk in the Cinna-Milk Whirl’d. 2-8 pm (11 am to 7 pm Saturday; noon to 6 pm Sunday).

Blade Runner: The Final Cut at Landmark River Oaks
For those who still haven't gotten over the passing of Rutger Hauer, the veteran Dutch actor who died last month at the age of 75, you can see him this weekend playing his most iconic role in Ridley Scott's futuristic, 1982 cult blockbuster. While there have been many versions of this movie served up since its release, this "final cut," released in 2007, certainly presents Hauer's android antagonist Roy Batty in a more sympathetic light. It's a great performance from a man who gave us plenty of them. 11:59 pm.

Saturday, August 10

KittenPalooza at El Gato Coffeehouse
El Gato Coffeehouse will be having several "Meow-Ments" this weekend, to celebrate the cat cafe partnering with smart home company Hive and creating Houston's first "smart" cat cafe. On Friday, get some colors and canvases for the Pinot & Paws Painting Class. But Saturday will be the big day, since Friends 4 Life will be bringing in some kittens to hold, pet and possibly adopt. As the folks from El Gato say, come and enjoy the most cuteness that you can ever fit into an hour. Noon to 4 pm.

Tee Vee and John Allen Stephens at Cactus Music
Tee Vee and John Allen Stephens are two of the city's most promising, experimental, rising-star musicians. Tee Vee is the alias of Teresa Vicinanza, a singer-songwriter who uses her synth/art/dream-pop as an outlet for processing life’s more mercurial themes, from highs of blissful memory to lows of lapses in mental health. Stephens is an artist, producer and multi-instrumentalist who blends elements of pop, R&B and electronic music. Catch them before they blow up. 3-4 pm.

Sunday, August 11

Lebowski Bash at Market Square Park
For those of you who were wondering when the Houston Lebowski Bash was going to happen, worry no more. The annual party where people come together and indulge in all things associated with Joel and Ethan Coen's 1998 stoner noir/cult classic can finally sip White Russians and quote lines to each other this weekend at Market Square Park. There will be human bowling, a trivia and costume contest, Dudeist Priest weddings, music by Swimwear Department, and, of course, a screening of the movie. 5-10 pm.

The Blues Beatles at Dosey Doe
What happens when you combine The Beatles and The Blues Brothers? Well, basically this. It seems a bunch of blues players decided one day that they could make a nice living doing bluesy covers of Fab Four songs while rocking black suits and cool shades. The arrangements combine blues and soul grooves that suit the vocals of the songs, while adding a different feel to them. Instrumental solos, improvisation, and typical blues elements are an integral part of their style. 7:30 pm.

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Movie Review

Denzel Washington brings new spectacle to the Colosseum in Gladiator II

Photo courtesy of Paramount Pictures

Paul Mescal in Gladiator II.

There are some films for which making a sequel is natural, and others where a follow-up is wholly unnecessary. Gladiator, which made both tons of money and was named Best Picture at the Oscars, told an impactful stand-alone story that ended with the protagonist dead and no real loose ends. And yet because there’s always more money to be made, here we are 24 years later with Gladiator II.

The lead character this time around is Lucius (Paul Mescal), a general in a North African army who becomes a prisoner of war when the Roman army led by Marcus Acacius (Pedro Pascal) bests him and his troops in battle. Taken back to Rome, he is put in the pool of captured men forced to fight at the Colosseum for the amusement of twin emperors Geta (Joseph Quinn) and Caracella (Fred Hechinger).

Lucius is controlled by Macrinus (Denzel Washington), an ambitious schemer who bets liberally on his prized fighter and always has an eye to move up in the world. Meanwhile, Lucilla (Connie Nielsen), the sister of Emperor Commodus from the first film, is now married to Marcus Acacius and has a unique connection with Lucius that is fairly obvious from the get-go.

Directed once again by Ridley Scott and written by David Scarpa, the film commits a number of sins throughout its 150-minute running time, the most blatant of which is that, aside from a few embellishments, it essentially tells the same story as the first film. Lucius, like Maximus, is a deposed military leader who’s out for revenge on the person who killed his family. Instead of one obnoxious emperor, there are now two. And the only way for Lucius to earn his freedom is to fight his way out.

Stories told in the same world can echo each other and, if done well, overcome those similarities. But Gladiator II is shockingly boring for a purported sword-and-sandals epic. Scott and his team try to introduce new elements to the fights, like a gladiator riding a rhinoceros or a ship battle inside the Colosseum (with sharks!), but most of the sequences are inert with no propulsion to them.

The action fails because none of the relationships in the film amount to much. There are stand-out characters like Macrinus and the twin emperors, but instead of creating antipathy or strong feelings of triumph or defeat, the story just kind of happens without any sense of excitement or importance. Much of that issue lies at the feet of Lucius, who simply doesn’t inspire in the same way that Russell Crowe’s Maximus did.

Mescal is a fine actor who’s done good work in more intimate roles, but he’s not up to the task of being an action star, at least not in this film. Any bombast he shows with the character feels forced, and the story doesn’t give him enough opportunities to counteract that lack. Washington, however, fills up the screen with his charisma, and it’s during his scenes that the film comes closest to being rousing. Quinn and Hechinger are a lot of fun as the twin emperors, but in the end they feel like retreads of Joaquin Phoenix from the original.

Any sequel should have a purpose that sets it apart from what came before, but Scott, Scarpa, and the rest of their team fail in that respect in Gladiator II. It’s a mostly lifeless film that delivers scenes that would be exciting if they had any kind of good story to back them up.

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Gladiator II opens in theaters on November 22.

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