World Wide Ebb (and Flow)
The Internet may be made of cats, but don't dismiss the Army's gay comic book &a schizophrenia tearjerker
This isn't a kids' comic book. This is for real.
You don't want to find out that you write like Dan Brown.Photo by Dan Corter
The Internet is about more than cats.
Editor's note: As CultureMap's social media editor, Fayza A. Elmostehi spends all day (and many nights) online and gets paid for it. During this time, Fayza comes across a lot of junk, but she also unearths some treasures. In this regular series, she'll introduce CultureMap readers to zany, bizarre, touching and funny moments in the Internet that they might otherwise miss.
Whether facts and figures make any sense to you, suffice it to say that the ratio of ridiculousness to substantive scoop has disproportionately gone through the roof. And almost universally, you can blame the Internet.
In fact, 68 percent of people tend to avoid the serious stuff online, and jump straight to the fun. And since 43 percent of all statistics are fabricated, you should totally believe us.
While we'll be the first to argue that all work and no play makes Jack a null boy, there's infinitely more to the wide world of the web than the history of LOLcats or railing on truffle salt's lack of vogue.
Earth-shattering? Calm down. We expected this reaction.
As an elixir to the aforementioned breaking news, we'd like to escort you through some of the truly phenomenal gems we've found online after pawing through the litter.
Take our hand, won't you? We only have one to offer.
Q: What do gays, Archie Bunker, and Wonder Woman have in common?
A: They're all comic book stars!
Homosexuals unwittingly, of course.
Apparently the U.S. Army felt the best way to educate soldiers on the very serious Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy in 1993 was by turning it into a full-color comedic farce. Fittingly, it's entitled Dignity & Respect: A Training Guide on Homosexual Conduct Policy. We assume this was an early exercise in hipster irony.
All kidding aside, how better to catch a homo by his toe than bubble quotes? Discrimination based on sexual orientation is just so funny.
Chuck your memory to the side. You've got a computer.
It's quite terrifying to admit that the majority of your life is voluntarily documented for prosperity online.
Your great-grandchildren can find out exactly what you were thinking on July 29, 2010 at 11:32 a.m. if they search your Twitter stream. Everyone gets hounded by the virtual paparazzi, thanks to Facebook photo tagging. And we all know the age-old drama of getting fired for something you posted on your blog.
Does any of this cause discomfort for you in the least? It should, even if only a bit.
"We've known for years that the web allows for unprecedented voyeurism, exhibitionism, and inadvertent indiscretion," says the New York Times' Jeffrey Rosen. "But we are only beginning to understand the costs of an age in which so much of what we have to say, and of what others say about us, goes into our permanent — and public — digital files."
Because, in essence, the web means the end of forgetting.
A vagabond's life is the life for me.
What if the best medication for your paranoid schizophrenic sibling was surviving on the streets?
In a concise, tear-jerking column, Ashley Womble summarizes her struggles with a brother who simply can't find peace anywhere but the vile life of vagrancy.
She relays a longing to "dust him off and set him on the right path," but ultimately concludes, in the end, that the decision is not hers.
A domestic jaw-dropper akin to The Glass Castle, you've gotta read it to believe it.
Can we have a little literary fun already?
Yes. You've earned it.
Slap some text in this box, and furrow your brow in confusion when you're told you write like the crowd-pleasing Dan Brown. Or cut and paste some of your "better work," and beam when you're informed your keystrokes rival the late great Kurt Vonnegut.
The possibilities of glory for your inner book geek are endless.
