Are you on Team Vienna? Or Team Jake?

How about Team None of the Above?

The highly touted made-for-TV meeting of Bachelor Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi, who only weeks ago appeared to be madly in love before breaking up in a storm of tabloid allegations, was riveting — in the same way that you slow down on the freeway to stare at a wreck. You know you shouldn't look but you just can't help it.

He clearly has anger management issues although he maintained steely-eyed control throughout the 37-minute interview — except for one time when he snapped, "Be quiet while I'm talking." It was chilling.

Of course, you couldn't much blame him. She wouldn't shut up.

They fought over everything, including his lack of passion in the bedroom, her sick puppy ( the couple bickered over potty training until host Chris Harrison said, "We don't really care about the dog"), her dalliance with a gay guy named Todd and assorted other inane topics before she stormed off in a trail of tears. Though she left early, she was clearly the winner. She made her case much better and got off a few zingers of her own, like “Can we get a polygraph? ‘Cause you would fail it!"

All in all, it was a depressing encounter, although how could anyone really be that surprised that it came to this? People go on reality shows for fame and fortune. True love doesn't appear high on the list.

There was one point when the snipping stopped temporarily. It happened when Harrison asked both what it was they once loved about the other.

"She was witty and quick and she challenged me," Pavelka said,

"He was genuine at that time, he was passionate, he was fun to be around," Girardi said.

It was one of the few times during the evening that the couple seemed real. Even with all the histrionics, the interview had the air of a scripted series. It was hard to believe they weren't acting — at least a little bit — for the cameras.

And it's not over. Next month, Pavelka will pop up on yet another ABC reality series, Bachelor Pad, where he will share a house with prior rejects from The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, including former Channel 2 weatherman Jonathan Novack.

Girardi has found a marketing job for a hair-product company that helps people with cancer (I'm not making this up; I hear that world peace is high on her list, too) and will stay in Hollywood, even though she professes to hate it.

I suspect it won't be long before she's on TV again.

See the interview below, part one:

Part two:

Part three: