weekend event planner

Here are the top 8 things to do in Houston this weekend

Drink for the flag and veterans at The Rustic.

The Rustic/Facebook

This weekend, everyone will celebrate a day that's as American as baseball, apple pie, and Dear Ol' Mom: National Fried Chicken Day (gotcha).

Saturday will be the day where people can dig into greasy, delicious yardbirds without guilt. Several local eateries already have some succulent meal deals prepared for this day. (Our favorite is the double-donut fried chicken sandwich, fries, and a drink for $10 over at Sam's Fried Chicken & Donuts.)

Here are some other things happening this week. And, by the way, the Fourth of July is this weekend, too. Happy Independence Day to all!

Thursday, July 4

Kidpendence Day at the Children's Museum of Houston
As part of the Children's Museum of Houston's "Action-Packed Summer," the museum will have a very special Independence Day, called Kidpendence Day. Among the special attractions: a National Anthem/flag ceremony with Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts, an elephant toothpaste patriotic blast (whatever that is), and Captain America and Wonder Woman will be around for photos. Don't forget to wear your red, white, and blue! 10 am.

Drink the Flag at The Rustic
Get buzzed for a good cause at this Fourth of July event. Drink the Flag will raise funds and awareness for the Lone Survivor Foundation's mission to restore, empower, and renew hope for wounded service members, veterans, and their families through health, wellness, and therapeutic support. There will be live music from Brandon Smith, Jeremy Webb, and the Whiskey Daniels Band, and all U.S. military attendees will receive a complimentary Rustic burger. 1 pm.

Friday, July 5

Elizabeth Warren at University of Houston
With the 4,000 or so candidates angling to be the one who goes up against the president in 2020, Elizabeth Warren seems to be one of the few Democrats who actually generates some buzz. In fact, she'll be here this weekend, holding a town hall at University of Houston, talking more about her presidential plans and, hopefully, discussing how Kamala Harris basically bodied Joe Biden at that last debate. 4:45 pm.

Amazing Grace at the MFAH
One of the best movies so far this year was actually made nearly 50 years ago. In 1972, the late director Sydney Pollack filmed Aretha Franklin, the recently departed Queen of Soul, as she recorded her Grammy-winning, live gospel album at Los Angeles' New Bethel Baptist Church. This film, which hit theaters earlier this year, not only captures Franklin at her electrifying best. You also get to see the audience — look out for Mick Jagger in the crowd — getting the Holy Spirit along with her. 7 pm (2 pm and 5 pm Sunday).

Saturday, July 6

Splice Records 5th Anniversary Party at The Continental Club
Local trans-genre label Splice Records will be going all-out for its fifth-anniversary party this weekend. Not only will there be performances from Splice artists Arthur Yoria, Ancient Cat Society, Bayou City Funk, and Tomar and the FCs, but this shindig will also serve as a kick-off party for Splice's fifth-annual River Revival Music Fest, which will happen on the Guadalupe River in September. DJ Mikey Drag will also spin tunes out on the patio. 7:30-11:30 pm.

Cholo Goth Prom at Grand Prize Bar
Stylist and self-proclaimed "Montrose Gothic Chola Princess" Sarah Victoria Castillo will turn 30 this weekend, and she'll celebrate her birthday the only way she knows how — with a Cholo Goth Prom. Join her upstairs at Grand Prize and dance to goth hits from Morrissey and Depeche Mode — as well as some classic, Houston/West Coast hip-hop sprinkled here and there — that'll be spun by DJ Squincy Jones. There will also be a prom photo booth, so prom gear is seriously encouraged. 9:30 pm to 2 am.

Sunday, July 7

Beach Bash & Drag Brunch at B.B. Lemon
There's a new eatery and bar on the Montrose block — and its name is B.B. Lemon. After opening its first location on Washington Avenue last November, B.B. Lemon is now expanding to Montrose Boulevard. To celebrate this new addition, the spot will throw a beach bash/drag brunch benefitting The Montrose Center. 100 percent of the ticket proceeds will support the Center in its mission to empower LGBTQ individuals and their families to enjoy healthier and more fulfilling lives. 11:30 am to 2:30 pm.

Open House closing day at Sam Houston Park
Sunday will be the official closing day for Havel Ruck Projects’ Open House, a small, abandoned abode that was transformed into an interactive, temporary public sculpture. This site-specific installation was scheduled to shut down earlier this year. But it seems like this attraction, where viewers are able to stroll through the house — the openings acting as peepholes to the present through the past — has been a very popular piece of public art. 7 am to 7 pm.

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Movie Review

Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

Photo by Matt Grace

Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

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Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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