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    By his tail

    Money for nothing: Tiger Woods paying Elin $100 million for silence that shewould have given anyways

    Chris Baldwin
    Jul 3, 2010 | 1:09 pm
    • Elin Woods never would have turned Tiger's betrayal into a run of TVappearances.
    • Is Tiger Woods so desperate to be in control that the gag order was worth anyprice?

    Tiger Woods isn't just a careless, paranoid cad. He's also shockingly easily manipulated.

    With his divorce from Elin Nordegren expected to become final within a matter of days (sometime over this Fourth of July weekend when there's less media coverage on everything, if Tiger has his way), it's come out that the monster settlement hinges on her never saying anything publicly about the details of their marriage (or the depth of his betrayal) even after Tiger is dead.

    In other words, if the greatest golfer in history kicks the bucket before his ex, she still cannot come out with a book or go on the show of Oprah's replacement.

    For this, Elin will get as much as $750 million over her lifetime.

    Which makes Tiger a fool.

    Does he not know his own wife? Elin Nordegren was never going to go on a Tiger-dissing, dirt-spewing, media tour no matter how contentious the divorce grew. That's not in her personality and it never was.

    Elin Nordegren is the most reserved high-profile celebrity wife of our time. She married the biggest sports star in the world, but she never wanted the attention. Remember, the last sit-down interview of Elin Nordegren you watched? Of course not, because there isn't one. Her public quotes — even from the happiest of times or what she thought was the happiest of times — can be counted on two fingers. Long before Tiger's Wilt-Chamberlain-level womanizing came out, Elin was notorious for turning down interviews.

    She couldn't have been more polite while doing it, but she always did it. Elin would rather go through surgery than sit down and bare her soul to a journalist or a "kind" TV couch host.

    I walked the final 18 holes of that epic 90-hole 2008 U.S. Open inside the ropes as Elin Woods did the same thing. She was exceedingly nice to myself and any other writer, who came up and tried to get some reaction as she watched her husband hobble his way to the most dramatic win of his career. She'd make small talk with you. But she'd say nothing on the record.

    That's Elin in a nutshell.

    This isn't some Real Housewife desperate for attention. Elin comes from a prominent Swedish family. One of her first purchases on her own — in the wake of Tiger's sexting spree — was a castle with a moat around it.

    She was never going to embarrass herself, her kids or her kids' dad on TV no matter how angry she is. She'd be more horrified than anyone by that thought.

    There's no doubt that Elin deserves a massive divorce settlement — perhaps, even a record-breaking one. If Tiger Woods was agreeing to the $750 million — or probably-more-accurate $100 million figure that's also starting to be floated out there — because of well-deserved shame or appreciation for the woman whose heart he broke, more power to him. (He can afford either one, no matter what you've heard about the limits to his net worth.)

    Instead though, Tiger seems to be paying to quell his raging paranoia. He needs that gag order on Elin. He must be back in control.

    The funny thing is that even now, even after everything, Elin would have likely protected Tiger Woods anyways.

    Tiger barely seems to know the woman he married. It makes one wonder if he ever did.

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    Movie Review

    Fawning Michael Jackson biopic Michael ignores the singer's complexities

    Alex Bentley
    Apr 23, 2026 | 1:30 pm
    Jaafar Jackson in Michael
    Photo by Glen Wilson
    Jaafar Jackson in Michael.

    Michael Jackson remains among the most complicated figures in pop culture history. On one hand, he’s responsible for some of the most enduring music of all time, thrilling generations with his voice and dance moves. But his later years were marred by accusations of child sexual abuse and erratic behavior, including his premature death at the age of 50.

    So the new biopic Michael is a tough one to judge from a critical standpoint, not least because director Antoine Fuqua and writer John Logan have elided — perhaps temporarily — the thornier parts of Michael’s history. Instead, this film focuses on the 20-year period in which Michael (played as an adult by Michael’s nephew Jaafar Jackson) goes from the prepubescent lead singer of the Jackson 5 to one of the biggest music superstars of all time.

    That choice puts an overly sympathetic tint to Michael’s story, as he spends most of that time under the thumb of his domineering father, Joseph (Colman Domingo). Joseph has a vision for Michael and his brothers, and he pushes them hard in a quest to become rich and famous. Even when they achieve that goal, though, Joseph refuses to let up, holding onto Michael even when it’s clear he should go out on his own.

    As a reminder of the enormous impact Michael Jackson had on the music industry and world at large, the film is successful. Fuqua and Logan include plenty of music, naturally, but they seem to be most interested in depicting Michael as a human being. They lay it on thick, whether it’s showing him spending time among his family members away from the stage, hanging out with bodyguard Bill Bray (KeiLyn Durrel Jones), or visiting sick kids in hospitals. The message that Michael is a harmless, good person couldn’t be clearer.

    The film hints at but doesn’t really explore Michael’s oddities. His obsession with kids literature and movies, especially Peter Pan, are seen as inoffensive quirks, as is his menagerie of animals, including a creepy CGI version of Bubbles the chimp. His arrested development seems to be partially blamed on his parents treating him like a child well into his adulthood, and the resulting fallout is not (yet) addressed.

    Many viewers will be most interested in the music sequences, and — save for some repetitive shots of fans fainting at the mere presence of Michael — they are handled well. Whether it’s at home, in the studio, on the set of the “Thriller” video, or at live performances, the film manages to fully get across just what a phenomenon Michael was at his peak. The staging and editing of each scene is dynamic, complementing Michael’s other-worldly abilities well.

    If there is one reason to see the film, it is the performance of Jaafar Jackson. Whether he’s capable of doing any other kind of role is undetermined, but his portrayal of his uncle is compelling, as he demonstrates singing, dancing, and acting skills in equal measure. He’s aided by an equally great performance by Domingo, who — with the help of facial prosthetics — overcomes the trope of the bad father. Nia Long and Larenz Tate are also good in smaller roles, but Miles Teller is an odd presence as Michael’s manager.

    There are reports that legal complications prevented the filmmakers from using previously-shot scenes delving into accusations against Michael, and there are rumors that a second film will be made about the last 20 years of his life. But that speculation can’t absolve Michael of showing all the positive aspects of Michael Jackson’s life and not even touching any of the negative ones.

    ---

    Michael opens in theaters on April 24.

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