And I thought the fake questions I posed for Elena Kagan on Monday were ridiculous.
It looks like when it comes to getting face time on C-SPAN, senators will ask pretty much whatever comes to their mind of a judicial nominee.
After questions from Herbert Kohl on what her "passions" were, calling a hypothetical mandatory-vegetable-eating law "dumb" to Tom Coburn and divulging her Christmas plans to Lindsey Graham ("Like all Jews, I was probably at a Chinese restaurant"), Kagan earned her stripes dodging the dumbest question of all from Democrat Amy Klobuchar of Minnesota.
Klobuchar: "You had an incredibly grueling day yesterday and did incredibly well, but I guess it means you missed the midnight debut of the third Twilight movie. We did not in our household and it culminated in three 15-year-old-girls sleeping over at 3 a.m.
Kagan: I didn't see that.
Klobuchar: I had a feeling. I keep wanting to ask you about the famous case of Edward vs. Jacob, or the vampire vs. the werewolf ...
Kagan: I wish you wouldn't.
Klobuchar: I will refrain. But I know you can't comment on future cases, so I'll leave that alone.
If Kagan can be as restrained on the Court as she was in her rejection of that question, I don't think the conservatives have anything to worry about.
Of all the formulaic movie genres, Christmas/holiday movies are among the most predictable. No matter what the problem is that arises between family members, friends, or potential romantic partners, the stories in holiday movies are designed to give viewers a feel-good ending even if the majority of the movie makes you feel pretty bad.
That’s certainly the case in Oh. What. Fun., in which Michelle Pfeiffer plays Claire, an underappreciated mom living in Houston with her inattentive husband, Nick (Denis Leary). As the film begins, her three children are arriving back home for Christmas: The high-strung Channing (Felicity Jones) is married to the milquetoast Doug (Jason Schwartzman); the aloof Taylor (Chloë Grace Moretz) brings home yet another new girlfriend; and the perpetual child Sammy (Dominic Sessa) has just broken up with his girlfriend.
Each of the family members seems to be oblivious to everything Claire does for them, especially when it comes to what she really wants: For them to nominate her to win a trip to see a talk show in L.A. hosted by Zazzy Tims (Eva Longoria). When she accidentally gets left behind on a planned outing to see a show, Claire reaches her breaking point and — in a kind of Home Alone in reverse — she decides to drive across the country to get to the show herself.
Written and directed by Michael Showalter (The Idea of You), and co-written by Chandler Baker (who wrote the short story on which the film is based), the movie never establishes any kind of enjoyable rhythm. Each of the characters, including competitive neighbor Jeanne (Joan Chen), is assigned a character trait that becomes their entire personality, with none of them allowed to evolve into something deeper.
The filmmakers lean hard into the idea that Claire is a person who always puts her family first and receives very little in return, but the evidence presented in the story is sketchy at best. Every situation shown in the film is so superficial that tension barely exists, and the (over)reactions by Claire give her family members few opportunities to make up for their failings.
The most interesting part of the movie comes when Claire actually makes it to the Zazzy Sims show. Even though what happens there is just as unbelievable as anything else presented in the story, Showalter and Baker concoct a scene that allows Claire and others to fully express the central theme of the film, and for a few minutes the movie actually lives up to its title.
Pfeiffer, given her first leading role since 2020’s French Exit, is a somewhat manic presence, and her thick Texas accent and unnecessary voiceover don’t do her any favors. It seems weird to have such a strong supporting cast with almost nothing of substance to do, but almost all of them are wasted, including Danielle Brooks in a blink-and-you'll-miss-it cameo. The lone exception is Longoria, who is a blast in the few scenes she gets.
Oh. What. Fun. is far from the first movie to try and fail at becoming a new holiday classic, but the pedigree of Showalter and the cast make this dismal viewing experience extra disappointing. Ironically, overworked and underappreciated moms deserve a much better story than the one this movie delivers.
Elena Kagan
