Come back, soon!

Coldplay's Houston adventure attracts Gabby Giffords, Mark Kelly and the band'sbiggest fan

Chris Martin fluffed a couple of song opening at Tuesday night's concert but wonthe audience over by admitting his miscue. This photo was taken at the Mondaynight concert
Photo by Chinh Phan
A scene from the floor at Tuesday night's Coldplay concert
Photo by Jane Ann Mann

I admit I am a Coldplay groupie. Possibly the oldest Coldplay groupie living.

No, I don't wait outside the stage door or visit their famous recording studio, a former bakery in a working class section of London, but I do look at the concert schedule and will try to conjure ways my business trips could align with the band's appearances. Lucky me. I have seen them in Wembley Stadium, San Jose, Los Angeles and a couple of other places.

I was lucky enough to be at the open-air Hollywood Bowl last month when the band performed. An outdoor venue has pluses — an amazing fireworks display that couldn't happen in an indoor facility like Toyota Center, along with the expected light bands and confetti which only amped up the sensory experience.

By the end of the second song there was so much confetti in our hair, chairs and floor that we looked like we had all gotten married.

But going to a concert alone is not the same as sharing it with friends.

I attended both Houston concerts. When someone asked me, "What did you get from Tuesday night that you could not get from Monday?" I replied, "It is a totally different experience. "

On Monday night, when I attended with my best friend, my seats were 20 rows up in the section closest to the band. From that vantage point, you can see the entire spectacle, all of the audience jumping in unison to the music, lights flashing from electronic wristbands, and both stages. You can also hear Chris Martin a little more clearly and notice the piano seemed a little tinny in spots.

Tuesday night my assistant landed floor seats on row 3 for a few clients and those in our office who were fans. The first thing that strikes you on the floor is the noise! It is much louder, harder to tell a mis-key. But the best part was having the band sing within three feet — a thrill all its own. And the light show that critics rave about is much more noticeable from the floor.

By the end of the second song there was so much confetti in our hair, chairs and floor that we looked like we had all gotten married. And goodness it is fun to sing the words of the songs at the top of our lungs as a group with wristbands and cameras flashing.

While standing in line I chatted up a source close to the group who said that Martin's wife, actress Gywneth Paltrow, did not attend the Houston gigs but that Chris's father, Anthony Martin, a retired accountant did. Perhaps that is why Chris Martin cleaned up his language in his Tuesday night performance. (On Monday night, he let the F-word slip a couple of times; his parents are known to hate off-color language.)

The insider also showed me a photo of Gabrielle Giffords and Mark Kelly, who were backstage for Monday night's concert. Giffords and Paltrow are related.

The insider also showed me a photo of Gabrielle Giffords and Mark Kelly, who were backstage for Monday night's concert. Giffords and Paltrow are related. Paltrow's late father, Bruce Paltrow, and Giffords' father, Spencer Giffords, were first cousins.

Unlike the nearly flawless performance Monday night, Chris and the boys had a couple of miscues on the quieter songs on Tuesday night. After flubbing the start of one song, Chris laughed and said, "Let's start that again. Please everyone I hope this doesn't show up on YouTube because people would think we were not professional musicians."

He laughed again when it happened again as the band launched into "Speed of Sound."The audience laughed and cheered his unpretentious explanation.

After the Monday show ended, concertgoers lingered at the Toyota Center savoring the experience. Not so on Tuesday. About 10 minutes after the concert ended, the ubiquitous security guards told us to move out because the set was being broken up. Indeed it was as the tour moves on.

Houston is a warm memory. But is anyone up for Thursday night in Tampa? Friday in Miami? I'm game if you are.

For a review of Monday night's Coldplay concert at the Toyota Center, click here.

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Movie Review

Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

Photo by Matt Grace

Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

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Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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