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    June's real sporting magic

    Forget soccer: From the longest match to the Queen to Maria Sharapova, you'remissing an epic Wimbledon

    Joseph Campana
    Jun 27, 2010 | 9:34 am
    • Maria Sharapova is through to the fourth round, setting up an epic match with...
    • Serena Williams.
    • Roger Federer may not be as done as everyone thinks he is.
      Photo courtesy of Roger Federer
    • John Isner went from winning the longest match in tennis history to losing theshortest one of this year's Wimbledon.

    Nothing beats Wimbledon in June. The first day of summer, strawberry season, and even my birthday all pale in comparison.

    Every Wimbledon is a Wimbledon to watch (and maybe now that the U.S. is out of the World Cup, people will start paying attention to the tourney they've been missing).

    Wimbledon makes good players great, great players legendary. It’s hard to forget the recent dominance of the Williams sisters, the epics between Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal (who said no thanks to meeting the Queen this week to focus on his game), and last year’s marathon between Federer and Andy Roddick.

    Even better, Wimbledon is a huge relief from the French Open. To be charitable, the French Open is fickle.

    The relief of Federer’s win last year and the supremacy of Rafael Nadal put a spring in one’s step at Roland Garros. But how many one-hit wonders, who should have been no-hit wonders, has the French Open produced? On the men’s side Gaston Gaudio and on the women’s side Anastasia Myskina, Ana Ivanovic, and this year’s surprise winner Francesca Schiavone.

    Don’t believe me? Schiavone dive-bombed out of Wimbledon with a loss to Vera Dushevina on the very first day of the tournament. Schiavone is a real scrapper — deeply dedicated, very athletic, and willing to fight for every point. But you can’t expect an opponent on grass, especially a superior opponent, to sink into the fickle red clay.

    Even six-time winner Federer very nearly lost on the first day to unranked Alejandro Falla in five hard-fought sets. Too many spectators and commentators see the death knell of a career in the slightest wobble in Federer’s game.

    Federer may be rusty, waning, distracted, or disturbed by the prospect of a resurgent Nadal. But if Federer, the wizard of Wimbledon, nearly tumbled out in round one, chalk it up to the rigor of this tournament: Tennis’s greatest testing ground.

    If that isn't evidence enough, America's serving sensation John Isner and opponent Nichloas Mahut of France completed an 11-hour-and-five-minute match with a mind boggling score of 6-4, 3-6, 6-7, 7-6, 70-68. That's right, readers: 70-68. The match stretched over two days. The players outlasted the light one day tied at 59-59 in a truly epic fifth set that took over eight hours.

    That final set taken by itself would rank high on the list of the longest matches in tennis history. The statistics are just shocking but here's my favorite. Isner served 112 aces while Mahut served 103. And that was still the first round. Just imagine what's next. (Isner can't, he promptly lost his next match, which turned out to be the shortest match at this year's Wimbledon.)

    Wimbledon's clearly for warriors, and what’s special about this year is the kind of uncertainty that surrounds it — a swimmer stuck in shark tank with blood in the water could relate.

    This is not a question of red clay or green grass. Rather, there's a “Twilight of the Gods” feel about the court. The old guard is fading, perhaps done in by persistent over scheduling that leads to exhaustion and injury. Change is on the way, but a new order has yet to emerge. This is as true of the players as of the sport.

    Over this next week, many storylines will emerge. On the women’s side, emergent challengers of the last years Jelena Jankovic and even Maria Sharapova, seemed to be in various states of disrepair. But both are through to the fourth round with Sharapova set to met Serena Williams in an epic Monday match. Belgians and major winners Kim Clijsters and Justine Henin have returned to good form after brief retirements, but now they have to play each other in the fourth round.

    So it seems we should all be grateful for last year’s champion Serena Williams and her sister five-time champion Venus Williams. Maybe not too grateful: It can certainly go to their heads. But these two may represent the last great swan song of American tennis. Watching them work at Wimbledon is a privilege.

    Venus more than anyone of late has been queen of this court. She’s designed for grass — lanky, swift, and decisive with a booming serve. Her statistics here are just plan sick. It may be greedy to want her to win a sixth title because she’s been the best player this whole year.

    In both the Australian and French Open, Venus was clearly the one to beat. In both tournaments, her will or concentration or energy lapsed at just the wrong moment. So, my vote’s for Venus and my hope is that the women’s side of the sport straightens itself out, and new stars, with some lasting power, arrive.

    As for the men? It’s hard not to root for a Federer-Nadal final again, but many are predicting this is Federer’s year to be knocked out early.

    Americans are rooting for Andy Roddick to repeat his trip to the final, even if he has to go through Federer. But as healthy as the men’s game seems to be — with hungry challengers everywhere — it’s hard to see who will emerge to seize the crown from Federer and Nadal. One or the other seems odds on favorite this year.

    When I started watching tennis, Pete Sampras, Andre Agassi, Steffi Graf, and Monica Seles were still dominant. Federer and the Williams were waiting in the wings. I’m excited to watch yet another Wimbledon unfold with favorite players I’ve watched for years.

    But, in spite of Isner's inhuman display of stamina, I’m left wondering who’s waiting in the wings now. And I’m wondering even more what the United States Tennis Association is doing about it.

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    Movie Review

    Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

    Alex Bentley
    Dec 26, 2025 | 2:30 pm
    Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda
    Photo by Matt Grace
    Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

    In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

    The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

    Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

    Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

    The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

    It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

    Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

    Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

    ---

    Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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