So you say you want a vuvuzela? Word. There's an app for that.
How loud can your vuvuzela be? Test it and see!
Raise your hand if, before the onslaught of World Cup hysteria, you hadn't the faintest idea exactly what a "vuvuzela" was. We'll give you extra credit if you had creative theories, though.
Now raise your hand if, despite worldwide revulsion for the traditional South African stadium instrument, you are secretly fascinated with the vuvuzela, you bemoan your upbringing as an American footy fan, and you vow to find a way to never deprive your offspring of such effective noisemaking.
If your hand is still raised, have we ever got an app for you.
For you shall long no more for the replication of the ultimate noisemaker! All you need, yet again, is all you need in life — an iPhone.
Vuvuzela enviers finally have something much more than a scoreboard to cheer about. Over 20, to be less than exact. There are over 20 iPhone apps that will put the power of the vuvuzela in the palm of your hand. GOOOOOOOAL!
Sound the horns for technology! Its beauty never ceases to deafen us.
A variety of actors have had the good fortune of having career resurgences thanks to someone giving them a chance after they passed their prime, including John Travolta after Pulp Fiction, Keanu Reeves after John Wick, and Brendan Fraser after The Whale. Pamela Anderson is the latest actor hoping to be reclaimed thanks to her starring role in The Last Showgirl.
In the meta-story, the 57-year-old Anderson plays Shelly, an aging showgirl at a third tier Las Vegas casino. The show itself, called Le Razzle Dazzle, is on its last legs, and Shelly finds herself at a crossroads, with no other skills or financial means on which to fall back.
While younger showgirls like Jodie (Kiernan Shipka) and Mary-Anne (Brenda Song) are willing to move on to more sexually-suggestive shows, Shelly is only comfortable with the tried-and-true showgirl way. Three other people in her life — estranged daughter Hannah (Billie Lourd), best friend Annette (Jamie Lee Curtis), and stage manager Eddie (Dave Bautista) — seem to help and hurt her in equal measure.
The effectiveness of the film, directed by Gia Coppola and written by Kate Gersten, depends heavily on whether the viewer is willing to accept Anderson, who’s still best known for her role on Baywatch, as a serious actor. If Coppola and Gersten are trying to show a different side of Anderson, they fail; having her play a character with little-to-no makeup and a dramatic arc does not make up for her poor acting skills and a high voice that borders on shrill.
And because the story is so dependent on Anderson — she appears in literally every scene — it never has a chance of becoming interesting or involving. Her character has personal issues that are objectively sad, but any weight that might have resulted from those storylines are lost along the way. She’s not helped by an over-the-top performance by Curtis, who seems to be milking her Oscar from Everything Everywhere All at Oncefor all it’s worth.
Coppola seems to be going for an old-school feel for the film to match the storyline. The film has a weird, unfocused look to it at times, giving the audience visuals that are definitely not high-definition. Whether she’s actually using an old film stock or manipulating the image to make it look like an old film, the effect is the same, with imperfections appearing on the screen often.
Anderson — who earned a nomination for a Golden Globe for Best Female Actor for her role — and Curtis seem to take up most of the oxygen of the film, leaving little to remember from anyone else. Shipka had a breakout movie year thanks to appearances in Twisters and Longlegs, but her role here gives her little to do. The same goes for Bautista, although at least he gets to put on a grey wig and act in a way that doesn’t emphasize his bulky physique.
While actors should never be shunted aside simply because they’ve aged out of an accepted age range, you also have to have the ability to prove you still belong. Anderson can’t get out of her own way in The Last Showgirl, and consequently the film itself never has any dramatic depth, either.
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The Last Showgirl opens in theaters on January 10.