Giddy With Geekery
A new iPhone, no Gizmodo, and Netflix, too: Welcome to WWDC with a jokey SteveJobs
If you think WWDC is anything like WWJD, please click the CultureMap logo at the top of this page. This article is not for you.
For those of you reading this on your iPad, which you will then chat about with your geekdafied cronies on your MacBook Pro, and maybe skim it again before bed on your iPhone, then by golly, the Apple Worldwide Developers Conference (that's WWDC, if you're nasty) is your bloody Christmas, Easter, and holy wedding day, all rolled neatly into one techtastic summit.
Perhaps WWDC is closer to Jesus that we'd originally surmised.
Billed as "the most important annual event for anyone innovating with Apple technologies," it's really the biggest cyberdork convention of techtards since the ninth-grade national chess tournament. It'd be fair to liken it to the Geekdom Prom. And of course, Steve Jobs will always be crowned the effervescent, black-turtlenecked Prom King.
So it kinda sucks that Gizmodo had its invitation to the ball rescinded, s'posedly as a result of that pesky iPhone 4G scandal. You know, wherein Gizmodo kinda disassembled the phone and totally blew the cover off a notoriously secretive new version and some junk. But who was keeping track of whether Gizmodo was naughty or nice? Apparently Santa Jobs.
But the show must go on for the Jobs-fearing nerd population, and on went the infamous keynote indeed.
Since Gizmodo already blew the surprise, the reveal of the new iPhone 4G wasn't a huge epiphany. One would think. "Stop me if you've already seen this," Jobs cheekily quipped, referring to Gizmodo's faux pas in Appleland. "But believe me, you ain't seen it."
And you know what? He wasn't joshin'.
Although the design was spot-on with the leaked device, the wet dream became more and more of a reality, with the introduction of the phone's new "retina display (in short, a super duper brilliant screen)," a six-axis, motion-sensing gyroscope, a five-megapixel camera with an LED flash and front-facing lens (perfect for getting a case of the MySpace angles), an iMovie video-editing app, a brand new operating system, oh, and um, Netflix. For the iPhone.
Yes, we said Netflix.
If your diaper's wet, Apple fanboys, we certainly won't tell your mommies today. WWDC, look what you do to us! Damn, it feels good to be a geekster.