A star is born
My life as a Time magazine cover girl — When making out with Justin Bieber canwait
One magazine cover, and your life changes. They used to say that being on the cover of Time magazine meant that you made history, and obviously in my case that's true.
Sure, the photo montage spells out something about Facebook, but there I am, front and center — OK, technically I'm in the bottom left corner area — two full picas of glory, my closely-cropped visage staring straight into the camera, daring America to love me.
Yes, me and 1,294 of my closest friends are the current cover of Time, in the form of profile pictures pulled from Facebook to illustrate the breadth of the Web site's reach. Sure, anyone could have joined the Facebook group "I Want To Be in TIME," in fact, almost 3,500 people did. But it's always nice to be invited, especially since only the true superstars made the page.
And in full color, no less — there hasn't been this much commotion about being blued since Dr. Tobias Fünke left the stage.
The sudden rise to fame has been heady, but I've tried to stay humble. First of all, the rumors are not true: I am NOT dating Justin Bieber — we just make out sometimes. (You're never too young to be a cougar.)
I've taken a page from the Olsen playbook and taken to wearing big, baggy layers and dark oversized glasses in a worthless attempt to go unrecognized by the paparazzi camped outside my apartment.
And while there is talk that the Internet just isn't big enough for me anymore, I'm committed to staying on at CultureMap and being a team player — like Beyoncé when they made that last Destiny's Child album.
As for the future, who can say. I already feel the pull of a Garbo-like seclusion before my lifestyle turns to purple drank, club appearances and crashing my Beamer. The glitz and glam of my It-girl existence just isn't worth the toll.
That is, until I get a seat on The View. Look out, Hasselbeck!