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    X-Men Apocalyse

    X-Men Apocalypse can’t survive solely on superhero action

    Alex Bentley
    May 27, 2016 | 9:15 am
    X-Men Apocalypse can’t survive solely on superhero action
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    By this point in the X-Men series, which includes six full X-Men movies, two Wolverine movies, and, in a way, Deadpool, the filmmakers have earned the right to do whatever they please. Save for a couple of occasions, they have come through with solid-to-great products time and again, and there’s little reason to doubt future movies would be at the same standard.

    With director Bryan Singer back at the helm, X-Men: Apocalypse is as entertaining as ever, if perhaps a tad repetitive. The film sees an ancient, seemingly immortal mutant, Apocalypse (Oscar Isaac), reemerging after being trapped under rubble for a few millennia. Not liking the modern world he finds in 1983, he sets out trying to mold it to his liking with the help of Angel (Ben Hardy), Storm (Alexandra Shipp), Psylocke (Olivia Munn), and our old friend Magneto (Michael Fassbender).

    There to try to stop him are Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) and his followers at his School for Gifted Youngsters, including Beast (Nicholas Hoult) and Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence), and newcomers like Jean Gray (Sophie Turner), Quicksilver (Evan Peters), Cyclops (Tye Sheridan), and Nightcrawler (Kodi Smit-McPhee).

    Set amid the age of nuclear politics, the film takes the typical X-Men approach of mixing serious topics with popcorn entertainment. Apocalypse’s solution to the “human problem” is abominable, but in a way it’s no worse than what humans have been doing, or threatening to do, to each other since the dawn of man.

    The reintroduction of favorite characters like Jean Gray, Cyclops, and Nightcrawler lets the filmmakers play on the memories of past films, but the characters feel stuck in the past, unable to become more than what we already knew them to be. The same goes for Quicksilver, whose big contribution is a virtual repeat of his scene in X-Men: Days of Future Past, complete with a cool musical backdrop. It’s a fun moment, but it makes it feel as if that’s all there is to him.

    On a pure entertainment scale, the two-and-a-half-hour film repeatedly delivers, with its action on par with any great superhero movie. But you can’t help but feel as if it’s a lot of noise that doesn’t add up to all that much. There are no major revelations, no alliance shifts, nothing of true import. In the end, we end up in about the same place we started, which is disappointing for a series that is usually progressive.

    X-Men: Apocalypse is a solid summer film, but when it’s facing stiff competition from all corners, it needs much more than that to be considered a true success.

    Oscar Isaac as Apocalypse in X-Men: Apocalypse.

    Oscar Isaac in X-Men: Apocalypse
    Photo courtesy of 20th Century Fox
    Oscar Isaac as Apocalypse in X-Men: Apocalypse.
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    Movie Review

    Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

    Alex Bentley
    Dec 26, 2025 | 2:30 pm
    Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda
    Photo by Matt Grace
    Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

    In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

    The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

    Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

    Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

    The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

    It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

    Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

    Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

    ---

    Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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