Can she change her name to Dallas?
Whitney Houston missing the boat on UK tour
Whitney's putting the "Houston" name to shame across the pond. Throughout her current Nothing but Love tour, she has consistently disappointed audiences, garnering boos and comparisons to amateur karaoke, and causing us to ask if the 46-year-old Whit's got some of Iceland's volcano dust caught in her vocal chords.
Indeed, was the eruption of Eyjafjallajokull a massive publicity stunt to cover up her tainted talent?
During her London performance, she stooped to apologize to the crowd. "She doesn't want to come, my soprano friend," she explained, "Sometimes, the old girl sings, but not tonight."
In a mid-ballad breakdown, she said, "I want to do it, but she doesn't want to ... She's getting a little temperamental." Personifying her vocal chords may be yet another indication that Ms. Houston has gone off the deep end. After failure to hit certain notes, she did not bother to finish her biggest hit to date, "Greatest Love of All."
In a raspy call for help, she addressed the stage crew, "Turn the air-con off. I can feel it. It takes away my soprano."
Whitney has also attributed her poor voice and slew of cancelled shows to a respiratory infection, but her Australian promoter explained that she simply refuses to stop smoking: "God bless her, I can't tell her not to," Andrew McManus tells the Guardian. "She's comfortable with the show she's performing. She knows she's not hitting every note like she used to."
McManus did not specify exactly what Whitney was smoking, leading many to believe that she still may be suffering from her 00's cocaine hobby. Since the volcano forced her to take a ferry to a show in Dublin, who's to say that she wasn't Stevie Nicks-ing in steerage? She may "make too much money to ever smoke crack," but the former Waiting to Exhale and Cinderella star can still party.
As part of Nothing but Love's set, a single massive screen flickers with images of emaciated children and snow - a thinly veiled metaphor, at best.
With her open apologies to the audience, Whitney makes herself an open book. At the London performance, she shouted to the crowd, "Any single mothers out there? 'Cuz there's one up here!"
The "comeback" tour may be a bit off-key, but at least Whitney wears her heart on her sleave.