The Houston Astros — still the only winless team in baseball, if you haven't heard — aren't being laughed at. They're being pitied.
ESPN's Baseball Tonight analyst Tim Kurkjian revealed on a recent show that a scout told him that the Astros' entire infield is made up entirely of "utility players." If you're unfamiliar with baseball jargon, utility players are the guys who come off the bench and play one or two days a week (at most) for decent major league baseball teams. It's hard to argue with the scout either.
Could Geoff Blum start for any other major league team? Heck, Blum might not be start for a number of Triple A squads. Yet, the career .250 hitter has started six of the Astros' eight games.
Blum is not in the lineup for this afternoon's game at St. Louis. But look at the infield starters: Pedro Feliz at first base, Kaz Matsui at second, Jeff Keppinger at shortstop and Chris Johnson at third. There is not a frightening hitter among them (at least not to the opposition). If you think about it, is it really any surprise that the Astros have scored the fewest runs in baseball by a landslide (Houston has put up 14 runs in eight games, the next-lowest-scoring team, Cleveland, has 26 runs).
When Kurkjian, one of the most respected and measured voices in the games, is all but dismissing the Astros' chances of avoiding 90-plus losses in mid April, there's not much counter argument. New manager Brad Mills must be wondering if he'll get his first W before May.
Jason Segel and Samara Weaving on Over Your Dead Body.
When dysfunctional couples are depicted in movies, about the worst that typically happens is an acrimonious divorce. But in the new comedy/thriller Over Your Dead Body, the husband-and-wife have already gone way past that point by the time they’re introduced to the audience, with their plans leaning toward murder.
Dan (Jason Segel) is a low-level filmmaker relegated to directing pop-up ads, while Lisa (Samara Weaving) is an actor making do in small theater productions. The film finds them heading toward a rare getaway to a remote lake cabin, but it’s clear from the start that the married couple has been at odds for months, if not years. As the film begins, Dan clumsily drops hints at an alibi for his planned murder of Lisa to his ailing dad (Paul Guilfoyle) and others.
His shoddy planning was already sussed out by Lisa, who turns the tables on him when he tries to attack her, revealing a plan of her own. The situation naturally heightens their shared enmity of each other, but their blind hatred turns out to reveal the presence of Pete (Timothy Olyphant) and Todd (Keith Jardine), two escapees from a nearby prison who were helped by guard Allegra (Juliette Lewis). What was once a shared murder plan turns into a fight for survival, forcing Dan and Lisa to work together.
Directed by Jorma Taccone (The Lonely Island) and written by former SNL writers Nick Kocher and Briand McElhaney, the film aims to mine comedy out of darkness. Dan and Lisa’s ire for each other is palpable, and their interactions early in the film are uncomfortable. As the film turns increasingly violent with the introduction of other unsavory characters, most of the humor is derived from the creative ways people are attacked and the ultraviolence that results from them going after each other.
It’s a little tough to get fully invested in the story when the filmmakers throw the audience directly into the plot with almost zero setup. There’s not even a cursory montage of Dan and Lisa being in love, so it’s hard to care a lot about their current hate for each other. Likewise, the presence of the prison guard and escapees is completely random, and the three of them aren’t utilized well in the story despite having a couple of well-known actors portraying them.
The saving grace of the film, though, is the twists and turns it takes in the final act. Everyone on screen is put through the wringer, with each of them suffering multiple injuries or worse. The mayhem becomes so chaotic that it’s almost impossible to tell what’s going to happen next, which slightly makes up for the fact that the story as a whole is lackluster. Even though the audience knows they’re being manipulated, the sequences are entertaining enough to overcome that fact.
The cast as a whole is solid. Segel (How I Met Your Mother, Shrinking) uses his comic sensibility to keep the proceedings light. Weaving (Ready or Not) has done multiple movies in this vein, so she knows how to navigate the comedy/thriller waters. Olyphant feels a little out of place, but he has a presence that elevates his part. Lewis goes a little too manic in her part, and Jardine ably embodies the dumb brute.
The comedy history of Taccone, Segel, and Weaving keeps Over Your Dead Body as a positive experience even when the story doesn’t quite measure up. The film never becomes fully predictable, giving the audience a great dose of pandemonium that lifts it up despite its other faults.
