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    The Hacker

    Tiger Woods isn't the only one with golf etiquette issues: A bad balls conundrum

    Jane Howze
    Apr 12, 2010 | 11:09 pm
    • Go ahead and drive? Well, thank you.
    • Bloodhounds are less dedicated to searching in the bushes than our hacker.

    I discovered that learning to hit a golf ball is but one part of the total golf experience. Golf is not only governed by a complex set of rules but also by a code of etiquette. Not knowing the proper etiquette is as big a faux pas as whiffing the ball.

    It is not an easy task trying to master all of these skills, to (ahem) keep all of the balls in the air, so to speak. My first year of playing golf provided a lot of comedy and tips on what not to do.

    Having taken up golf as a way to connect with my many golfing clients, I was eager to join the guys — yes, most of them were guys — for a round of golf. My first round of business golf took place at Riverbend Country Club with two executives from Northern Trust.

    My partner told me, "If you want to play golf, you must play fast and help people find their lost golf balls." I took both pieces of advice to heart.

    Not even daring to take a practice swing, I jogged to the tee box and, with no practice swing, whacked at the ball. There was no foliage too deep for me to wade into in hopes of helping my playing companions find their wayward tee shots. Finally, my partner pulled me aside and told me I looked like an overeager bloodhound nosing around bushes, and could I please try to act a little more cool.

    No one had told me that after eight strokes on a hole, you should pick up your ball and move on to the next tee. Not me. I proudly continued to swing the club, even though my playing companions kept yelling, "That's good, Jane." No, I told them, I wanted no charity and would take my actual number of strokes.

    I shot 141 that day. It was two years before those clients asked me to play again.

    Ball Trouble

    One of the ways to endear yourself to your clients is to give them a sleeve of golf balls — better still if the golf balls have your company logo on them. As Christmas rolled around, I found a great deal on golf balls imprinted with our firm logo for 88 cents a ball. Not knowing that the brand of golf balls was more important than your company logo, I selected Dunlop DDH balls.

    If golf balls were a car, the DDH golf ball would be considered a Yugo — definitely not the type of image we wanted to project to our clients.

    Unfortunately, our Northern Trust client was the beneficiary of my Christmas generosity at lunch when I proudly pulled one — yes one — golf ball from my purse and placed it in his hand with a jovial, "Merry Christmas!" My client stared at the lone golf ball intently and finally said, "Why, Jane, I don't know exactly what to say." I responded, "Mark, please think nothing of it — just a small token of how much we value our relationship with Northern Trust."

    Another one of my clients, a record company executive, invited me to play golf with him at his exclusive club in San Francisco. We were paired with a couple of other club members, and I was trying very hard to be a good partner. We drove to the first tee and my client received a call on his cell phone.

    He answered the call and said, "Jane, why don't you go ahead and drive." I quickly leaned over across him and placed my hands on the steering wheel of the golf cart waiting for him to hit the pedal.

    After about 30 uncomfortable seconds of him talking on the phone with me in the "drive" position, I realized that “drive” meant drive the ball and not the golf cart.

    As I was recounting these stories to the golfers in my office, I said, “I’ll bet every beginning golfer has stories like this to tell.” A moment of silence hung over the group. Then, in unison, they all shook their head no.

    One finally earnestly said, “Um, Jane, no, I can’t remember embarrassing myself that badly. But let me keep thinking!"

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    Movie review

    Nerdy teen comedies make a comeback with new movie Summer of 69

    Alex Bentley
    May 9, 2025 | 10:45 am
    Sam Morelos and Chloe Fineman in Summer of 69
    Photo courtesy of Hulu
    Sam Morelos and Chloe Fineman in Summer of 69.

    There was a trend in the late 2010s/early 2020s of bawdy comedies featuring teenage female protagonists, including Blockers, Booksmart, and Yes, God, Yes. Those types of films seemed to go by the wayside in recent years, but they’re making a comeback with the new film Summer of 69.

    Abby (Sam Morelos) is a high school senior and video game streamer who has had a crush on her classmate Max (Matt Cornett) for her entire childhood. When she learns that Max has recently broken up with his longtime girlfriend, she’s determined to make her move. With advice from a confidant that Max likes a certain sexual position, Abby sets out to learn as much as she can about it, including hiring a stripper, Santa Monica (Chloe Fineman), to help her.

    Coincidentally, Santa Monica is facing a situation where the club at which she works, Diamond Dolls, will be closed if the owner doesn’t come up with $20,000 in a week. Abby, who comes from a well-to-do family, seems to offer the perfect solution, and so the two agree to a week of lessons for that amount. Naturally, all sorts of complications arise, as well as the two women forming an unexpected bond.

    Written and directed by Jillian Bell, with help from co-writers Jules Byrne and Liz Nico, the film is both suggestive and innocent at the same time. For all of the talk about sex and innuendo, having the nerdy and inexperienced Abby at the center of the film ensures that the story remains relatively chaste throughout. That includes scenes at the strip club, where Bell makes the choice to show almost no nudity.

    Most of the humor of the film stems from Abby’s lack of experience, highlighted by her having “sexual” fantasies about Max that never actually get to the sex part. The juxtaposition between Abby and Santa Monica is also used for laughs, although Bell and her co-writers make sure to include a side story for the dancer that makes her into a three-dimensional person.

    What ultimately makes the movie succeed is the way it keeps its characters relatable. Many high school films feel the need to play into a bunch of stereotypes, but those are kept to a minimum here. Instead, Bell upends expectations by delivering honest - sometimes to a fault for the characters - dialogue that acknowledges the spectrum of sexual realities for high schoolers, a version that differs from insatiable horniness of some other teen comedies.

    Morelos, one of the stars of Netflix’s That ‘90s Show, makes for a charming lead, someone who can convincingly take her character from awkward to confident over the course of the story. Fineman, best known for her current stint as a cast member on Saturday Night Live, complements her well, showing her comedic prowess in a number of physical scenes. A supporting cast that includes Nicole Byer, Paula Pell, Alex Moffat, and Natalie Morales keeps the energy level high.

    Despite its titillating title, Summer of 69 is much more sweet than naughty. Like most coming-of-age movies, it’s about a girl who’s trying to figure out where she fits in the world. The answers she finds aren’t always the ones she was expecting, but in the best possible way.

    ---

    Summer of 69 starts streaming on Hulu on May 9.

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