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    Music Matters

    She's baaaack: Lady Gaga's "Monster Ball" return promises a touch of Madonna

    Michael D. Clark
    Apr 7, 2011 | 10:34 pm
    • On tap: Lady Gaga expresses herself because she was born this way.
      Photo by Eric Hester
    • Photo by Eric Hester
    • Lady Gaga in her Houston concert last July
      Photo by Eric Hester

    Minions of Gaga. Now hear this...

    If you were gob-stopped by the spectacle of seeing Lady Gaga in all her... gaga-ness when "The Monster Ball" tour touched down for a two-night stay at the Toyota Center last July, then Friday's return performance at the same venue should leave you absolutely catatonic.

    Or feeling a sense of deja vu.

    For your viewing enjoyment, pop's reigning queen is bringing almost the exact same show back to Houston for a belated encore after a mere eight month pause.

    That's right. Less than three years into repainting the "sexy, singing, dancing boy toy" landscape and Gaga is already in reruns. I will, however, give Ms. "Poker Face" the benefit of the doubt on why it's the same show-different year.

    Since her last visit to Houston, which featured her planned performances and a host of sighting to eat (Spanish Flowers), drink (The Dirt bar) and be merry (poolside at the St. Regis Hotel) , Gaga has been touring nearly non-stop. What little time she did take off earlier this year was, no doubt, spent putting the finishing panache and sexy tension on her new album, Born This Way (currently scheduled for release on May 23), as well as figuring how to creep out the Grammy audience by arriving on the red carpet in a "birthing" pod.

    Still it would have been nice to hear a selection of new tracks from Born This Way live so close to the release date. But then again, in this age of immediate digital music gratificationand high-tech microscopic recording equipment small enough to be hidden like a suppository, it's too risky. Gaga would be a fool to showcase her unreleased work in Houston on Friday night so it could be stolen out of the Wi-Fi air and downloaded by million on Saturday morning.

    (And damn you, villainous digital pirates, who have forced artists to protect new works from the masses like paranoid politicians instead of enthusiastically sharing them with the masses upon creation. You have forced me to take Gaga's side on this issue as the one that better serves truth, honesty and the greater good. Do you know how twisted that is?)

    It does seem that Lady Gaga's current hit/new album title track, "Born This Way," will be making it's live Houston debut.

    (That is, if you don't count the last time Madonna was in town singing "Express Yourself." Is it just me or does "Born This Way" bear more than a passing resemblance to that song? Somebody might need a copyright infringement defense lawyer soon less she gest the meat dress sued right off of her.)

    Besides that setlist tweak, fans can re-immerse themselves in the gritty urban music choreography of "Just Dance," Gaga's leather dominatrix outfit and mask for "Money Honey" and a dance club finale of "Poker Face" "Paparazzi" and "Bad Romance."

    Or you can just read my review of Gaga's concert last year, flip on the recording of "Born This Way" that you stole off the internet, and save that ticket money to buy her new album next month.

    Awww... who we kiddin? You're stealing that off the Internet too.

    "Don't be a drag. Just be a queen." - Gaga

    Lady Gaga, Friday 8 p.m. at Toyota Center

    Tickets: $49.50 - $175

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    Movie Review

    Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

    Alex Bentley
    Dec 26, 2025 | 2:30 pm
    Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda
    Photo by Matt Grace
    Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

    In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

    The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

    Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

    Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

    The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

    It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

    Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

    Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

    ---

    Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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