Curtains Up

It's Curtains for Guiding Light's dynamic duo Robert Newman and Kim Zimmer

Kim Zimmer and Robert Newman from "Guiding Light"
From "Guiding Light," Josh Lewis (Robert Newman) and Reva Shayne (Kim Zimmer),childhood sweethearts who had several stabs at a relationship and a fewmarriages to other people before finally tying the knot in a July 1989 episode
"Guiding Light" cast members say good-bye in a double-page spread in "Soap OperaWeekly"

Soap opera stars Robert Newman and Kim Zimmer spent 28 years as a star-crossed couple on Guiding Light. When the classic soap opera ended in 2009, fans were devastated. But now Newman and Zimmer are together again in the current Theatre Under the Stars production of the Broadway musical, Curtains, at the Hobby Center for the Performing Arts.

CultureMap had a chat with the dynamic duo to discuss life, love and the pursuit of a Galleria shopping spree.

CultureMap: Tell us about your transition to a career in theater.

Robert Newman: When Guiding Light went off the air, I was already working on another musical. That was an easier transition for me, because for the last seven years, I've taken four to six weeks off a year to do theater. As an actor, I thought that would always keep me on the ball and keep my muscles moving. It would also rejuvenate me for soap opera work. I'd shot about 100 of the 150 Guiding Light episodes each year. It wears you out, and you need to work different muscles. Otherwise, I've been having a great time. I've shot three different prime time shows including Criminal Minds and Law and Order: SVU, and have done a couple of commercials, including one for IKEA, which is a company I adore.

Kim Zimmer: I'd slip away to do summer productions — I also love doing Shakespeare — but it's really been a dream of mine to get back into theater. Actually, I have a casting application on my computer. I went onto testing sites, and of course there were very few things for me. When i heard that I got the offer for Curtains without auditioning, I said, 'This I like,' because I don't get jobs that I audition for! It was totally incidental that Robert and I ended up working on Curtains together. It wasn't until I was in negotiations that I found out that he was on it. What can I say? It was fate.

CM: What was most surprising about working on Curtains?

KZ: We both have numbers where we're working our asses off. I have no excuse to be out of breath at the end of this one number. I'm kicking myself for not getting in better shape.

RN: We compare aches and pains every day. 'It's my shoulder;' 'It's my back.' I wake up and I'm like, 'What the heck?'

KZ: I walked into a Massage Envy yesterday and Robert was right there getting a massage, too. Of course, I'm a Massage Envy member in New Jersey.

RN: I actually put my massage on her credit card!

CM: To what extent do you interact onstage?

KZ: We don't have a whole lot to do together onstage. However, the little bits we do together are precious. His character's with another girl, which I don't like!

RN: Kim and I try to make out once or twice before we go onstage. It's an old relationship. I remember way before I saw the show a year and a half ago, I thought, 'Gosh, she's so great for this show.' It's been really fun to work with her in a completely different format than the one we worked in for two and a half decades. Just standing across the room and watching her work through a number is a joy.

CM: What do you miss about acting in a soap opera?

RN: Soap opera work really narrows you down. What I miss primarily are the people I worked with there for 28 years. There were lots of births and weddings and deaths amongst the cast and crew. There were just a lot of great people and we became close in many ways. And that's what makes this a complete joy with Kim.

KZ: I can echo that. I'm actually currently rehashing a role I did 29 years ago on One Life to Live, so I still experience that whole life. But when you spend 28 years of your life on one show, it's like being divorced and losing that whole side of the in-laws. I miss that family — the crew and the jokes. And I miss the paycheck. I do have a book coming out in August about my experience on Guiding Light.

CM: Do you plan on exploring Houston during your time here?

RN: I'm sure I'll be tracking down golf courses. And I like Barnaby's a lot — the buffalo burger and fries are very nice.

KZ: I myself haven't even been to The Galleria. I'm like a rabid dog without a bone because I am a shopaholic and I have not had the opportunity to go over there. It's like I can see it, and I can smell it. Hopefully once the show gets underway, I can go during the day and manage that. Oh, and I have every intention of getting a couple of pairs of boots from Cavender's.

CM: Any interest in the NCAA fanfare?

RN: Actually, Kim is the sports person in this relationship. That's something my poor son has had to put up with.

KZ: I've been trying to get my hands on some tickets to Monday's game. If Charles Barkley is out there and reading this, he needs to give me his extra ticket!

Curtains plays at the Hobby Center through Saturday.

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Movie Review

Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

Photo by Matt Grace

Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

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Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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