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    Sword deluge

    Game of Thrones explained: Strategic moves promise a bloody tournament of champions

    Tarra Gaines
    Apr 1, 2013 | 6:33 am

    With dragons, dire wolves, and Medieval intrigue, HBO’s hit and Emmy-winning series Game of Thrones returned to our television screen appropriately on March 31. As we saw last season, this throne game is closer to a throne tournament, with royal families and potential kings and queens vying for the Westeros Iron Throne all bringing excitement and sometimes literal madness to March.

    This throne game is closer to a throne tournament, with royal families and potential kings and queens vying for the Westeros Iron Throne.

    Game of Thrones, based on George R. R. Martin’sA Song of Ice and Fire novel series, has generally followed one book per season, but this year is different. The third book, A Storm of Swords, which is vast and beloved, is getting divided into two seasons. So fans of the show and books can expect to be drenched by a sword deluge until 2015.

    What You Need to Know

    It’s only a slight hyperbole to state the show contains a cast of thousands. Unless you’re a Song of Ice and Fire fanatic, keeping careful margin notes in the books, you’ll need to pay attention to the “Previously” introduction for each episode to warn you when a character you had forgotten, because he hasn’t appeared for seven episodes, is about to pop up and be important.

    Though the number of characters can be overwhelming, there appears to be a pattern to some of the plotting.

    Episode Nine usually contains a bloody political game changer in the Westeros power landscape. The final episode of each season features the characters picking up the pieces, which are sometimes actual body parts, but ends with some fantastic images like dragons hatching out of a desert funeral pyre or a 10,000 strong ice zombie horde ambling across a frozen wasteland. These terrifying and magnificent scenes serve to remind viewers that sharp political drama can be housed in a fantasy genre.

    Sunday night’s debut episode started out a bit slow with only about half those thousand characters making an appearance. Some of our favorite players like the wandering young Stark kids, Bran, Rickon, and badass Arya were missing.

    Though the number of characters can be overwhelming, there appears to be a pattern to some of the plotting.

    Even with notable absences, there were many strategic opening moves in this episode, so lets make some unspoiled predictions as to which games to watch closely this season.

    Westeros Division

    Starks vs. Lannisters

    Robb Stark turned out to be quite the warrior last season, even winning several off screen battles against the Lannisters, but proved a novice politically. Failing to protect his own territory, Winterfell was taken by the annoying Theon “Daddy Please Love Me” Greyjoy, and later burned to the ground.
    Robb’s alliance with House Frey, brokered by his mother in season one, could be in jeopardy because he married a nice doctor instead of one of those stay-at-home Frey daughters. Meanwhile, the Lannisters are regrouping.
    Lannisters vs. Tyrells
    The Lannisters and Tyrells are in an alliance, with Margaery Tyrell, now engaged to King Joffrey. Yet, in Westeros an alliance simply requires the players to smile at each other as they attempt to get in position for a good round of back-stabbing. With only one episode, we already see that Margaery and her brother Loras are much more limber politicians than any of the Lannisters, with the possible exception of the scarred, but still pretty and cunning, Tyrion Lannister.
    Fun fact: Margaery is the widow of Renly Baratheon, younger brother of dead king Robert — Joffrey’s named father — so she’s engaged to her nephew by marriage. This aunt/nephew engagement is in no way icky, however, because Joffrey is not Robert’s biological son but is actually the bastard of his mother Cersei and her twin brother Jaime. Also, Renly never had sex with Margaery because he was busy having sex with her brother Loras and being murdered by the demon shadow baby of his own brother Stannis Baratheon.
    Best sit back and enjoy the ride, but whatever you do, don’t get too attached to a character. They’re probably going to die painfully and grossly in a few episodes anyway.
    Stannis Baratheon vs. Insanity
    After losing the Battle of Blackwater and therefore the chance to capture the Westeros capitol, Stannis went home to lick his wounds and stare at fire while his advisor/priestess/shadow baby mama Melisandre hosts motivational seminars for his troops that include team building activities like burning unbelievers. Whether Stannis can get his mind out from her crazy thrall and back into the game remains to be seen.
    Essos Division
    Daenerys Targaryen vs. Ethics
    Across the Narrow Sea Daenerys Targaryen is mother to three adorable and deadly toddler dragons. Trying to buy, borrow, steal, or marry an army in order to march on Westeros and take back the kingdom that once belonged to her family, she’s having a bit of a fight with her conscience when it comes to buying a eunuch, slave army. Each season her dragons get bigger, while she confronts a new Essos culture, which underestimates her, but she gets no closer to hitting the beaches of Westeros.
    Far Northern Division
    The Night Watch vs. the Wildlings vs. the White Walkers
    North of the Wall, Jon Snow, dead Ned Stark’s bastard, has cunningly infiltrated, by getting captured, the camp of former Night Watch commander, Mance Rayder who has also declared himself a king and has a wildlings army to prove it. At least those wildlings are human, which cannot be said for the White Walkers and their zombie hordes. While everyone and their dire wolf wants to be king of Westeros, it’s still not clear what the spooky blue-eyed, frozen creatures want, besides possibly a good moisturizer.
    Viewers vs. Expectations
    If you’re watching the series for that epic battle between dire wolves, dragons, and ice zombies you know has to be coming eventually, our advice is to get regular exercise and eat lots of vegetables. With two seasons to cover one book, two more published books awaiting dramatization, and another two left for Martin to complete the series, we’re going to be here awhile.
    Best sit back and enjoy the ride, but whatever you do, don’t get too attached to a character. They’re probably going to die painfully and grossly in a few episodes anyway.
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    Movie Review

    Houston native Wes Anderson shows off comedic side in The Phoenician Scheme

    Alex Bentley
    Jun 6, 2025 | 4:00 pm
    Benicio Del Toro, Mia Threapleton, and Michael Cera in The Phoenician Scheme
    Photo courtesy of TPS Productions/Focus Features
    Benicio Del Toro, Mia Threapleton, and Michael Cera in The Phoenician Scheme.

    If you were to do a poll of the best comedy filmmakers of the 21st century, writer/director Wes Anderson is not the obvious choice to come out on top, but there’s an argument to be made for him. His quirky style doesn’t yield the guffaws that more broad comedies do, but the absurd situations he creates in his films are often more consistently funny than anything else.

    Anderson’s inimitable approach is once again on full display in The Phoenician Scheme. At its center is Zsa-Zsa Gorda (Benicio Del Toro), a much-hated businessman who’s looking to complete a number of big projects in the fictional country of Phoenicia. As he seems to be the target of multiple assassination attempts, he appoints his daughter, Liesl (Mia Threapleton), as his heir to try to ensure his legacy.

    Both she and his new assistant, Bjorn (Michael Cera), accompany him around the country as he tries to enact a scheme to have others cover the bulk of the cost for the various projects. Those he attempts to convince include Phoenician Prince Farouk (Riz Ahmed), brothers Leland (Tom Hanks) and Reagan (Bryan Cranston), fellow businessman Marseille Bob (Mathieu Amalric), ship captain Marty (Jeffrey Wright), his Cousin Hilda (Scarlett Johansson), and Uncle Nubar (Benedict Cumberbatch).

    Put in Andersonian terms, the film is a mix between the madcap antics from The Grand Budapest Hotel and the impenetrable storytelling of Asteroid City. If you were to try to understand every detail of what’s going on in the story of The Phoenician Scheme, it might take three or more viewings to do so. But the film is still highly entertaining because Anderson fills its frames with his typical visual delights, great wordplay, and his particular version of slapstick.

    Much of the comedy of the film derives from Anderson inserting moments that initially come as a surprise and then utilizing them as running jokes. The film features more blood than usual for the filmmaker, but each time a character gets wounded (or worse), it gets funnier. The assassination attempts get broader as the film goes along, and the matter-of-fact way in which they’re treated by Gorda and others is also hilarious.

    Of course, Anderson is the cinephile’s comedy director, so the film is also full of high-brow things like allusions to paintings, tributes to other filmmakers, and classical music. Each time Gorda has an attempt on his life, he briefly finds himself in a version of limbo, depicted in black-and-white by Anderson. The cast of characters Gorda finds there - including Bill Murray as God - could come straight out of a 1950s Ingmar Bergman movie.

    Del Toro has delivered some great performances over the years, but this one is near the top for him. This is his second Anderson film (following The French Dispatch) and he nails the deadpan method. Also great is Cera, who uses a ridiculous accent to make a big impression. Threapleton, the daughter of Kate Winslet, makes the most of her first big film role. The list of supporting actors is too deep to properly laud everyone, but they all fit in seamlessly.

    Opinions will differ, but for this critic’s money, Anderson is at his best when he fully leans into the comedy of his films. He does just that in The Phoenician Scheme, to the point that it doesn’t matter that the story is overly complex. The combination of his eye for visual detail, a witty script, and committed performances make it a success.

    ---

    The Phoenician Scheme is now playing in theaters.

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