Alaska is Sarah Palin's favorite subject (well, except perhaps for "real Americans," Facebook and death panels), and soon it might be yours, too.
TLC has bought the global right's to Sarah Palin's Alaska, an eight-part documentary series about America's most remote and mysterious state. Produced by Survivor and The Apprentice creator Mark Burnett, we're assuming the show will have plenty of awe-inducing and dangerous avalanches, bears, mud flats, moose hunts and views of Russia. And of course, Palins, Palins, Palins. (Is it wrong to hope Levi Johnston stops by? It'll be drama like The Hills!)
Of course, the best part of the series is sure to be the network promotional crossovers. TLC, let me save you some time and plan how these are going to go:
Cake Boss: Buddy will make Sarah a moose-shaped cake.
Say Yes to the Dress: Sarah will leave Kleinfeld with $180,000 in dresses, none of which will be for Bristol.
19 Kids and Counting: The Palins and the Duggars can discuss baby naming strategies (strange nouns versus J names), and share Republican talking points.
LA Ink: Sarah Palin will not come here. The only tattoos for real Americans are confederate flags and talking points drawn on the inside of one's hand.
Toddlers & Tiaras: Palin's adorable youngest daughter, Piper, will be tarted up for the pageant circuit. If the swimsuit or talent portions do not go well, Palin will accuse other competitors of pallin' around with terrorists.
American Choppers: Sarah Palin has already appeared on this show. Seriously.