Fake it 'til you make it

A newbie's guide to Lost: 10 ways to bluff through the season premiere

Kate, it's time to decide. Hottie number 1 or hottie number 2 — it's not thatdifficult.
Shirtless Sawyer with Juliet, who may or may not be dead

The last season of Lost has finally arrived and if you haven't been following the series, the premiere will make no sense to you. Just missing one episode puts you way behind—and it's nearly impossible to catch up. But if you have been watching the series since the beginning, as we have, Tuesday night's premiere is the biggest thing since the mystery of who shot J.R. Ewing during the heyday of Dallas.

Avid fans are obsessive about the series, so if you happen to be watching the show with some diehards, here's a "cheat sheet" that will get you through the night—and maybe even impress the faithful.

Before we get started, a few points to remember:

Lost fans pay attention to every detail— silence is absolutely golden.
When engaging a fan in conversation, "I don't know," "That always confused me," or "I'm still working on my theory" are perfectly valid answers to ANY question. Everyone has a theory, everyone has an interpretation, but no one really knows the answer to anything.

This being the case, here are 10 talking points to throw out into the Lost-verse that should establish you as a Lost veteran.

1. "Whatever happened to the polar bears?"

2. "It's a shame they killed off Libby."

*bonus points: "I don't understand why everyone hated Ana Lucia. I found her really complex and interesting."

3. "I wonder what's gonna happen to Claire."

4. "Who are the true protectors of the island, the Dharma Initiative or The Others?"

5. "What's the deal with the smoke monster, anyway?"

If you want to take it to the next level, here are some more complicated routines to perform.

6. You have two options — straight-laced Jack, or sexy, shirtless Sawyer. Pick one, and then say, "I just think Kate belongs with ________." You're sure to get strong opinions from everyone in the room.

7. Jacob has been a mysterious presence on the island since almost the beginning. In last season's cliffhanger, he was revealed as a deity-like figure and possibly killed. Initiate a comparison between Jacob and Christ.

*bonus points: Compare John Locke, who has been killed and come back to life, to the anti-Christ. People may argue he's actually the Christ character.

8. A main mystery of Lost is how the characters travel through time and space. Throw out, "Do you think its possible for them to change the future?" They wouldn't be Lost fans if they didn't care about this sort of thing.

9. Some of the characters have names that mirror a philosopher or theologian. If you're a philosophy buff, point this out and then open up discussion on their beliefs.

John Locke (philosopher John Locke)
Desmond David Hume (philosopher David Hume)
Dr. Charlotte Staples Lewis (theologian C. S. Lewis)

*Bonus points: Miles Straum is named to remind viewers of a "maelstrom."

**Extra bonus points: Penelope Widmore, wife of Desmond Hume, reminds us of Penelope from Homer's Odyssey. She too spends years waiting for the return of her love.

10. If you're into fashion, you can attempt a conversation on Lost styles. This topic may be a little tricky to maneuver, but here are some pointers:

Kate — always has a tank top, or rolled up short-sleeved shirt which is usually wet or damp.
Sawyer — most likely to be shirtless or almost shirtless.
Jack — never shirtless. Loves button-ups.
Juliet — Loves Old Navy styles (she may be dead though).
John Locke — cargo or khaki pants with an earth-toned t-shirt, tucked in.

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Movie review

Will Arnett shines in Bradley Cooper’s divorce drama Is This Thing On?

Photo by Searchlight Pictures/Jason McDonald

Will Arnett in Is This Thing On?.

With 12 Oscar nominations in the past 12 years in multiple categories, Bradley Cooper has turned into not only an acclaimed actor, but also a touted filmmaker. Given that pedigree, it might be difficult to remember that he first gained recognition as a comedy star in movies like Wedding Crashers, Yes Man, and The Hangover series. For his latest directorial effort, he has married comedy with drama in Is This Thing On?.

Unlike the previous two films he directed, Cooper only has a supporting role, ceding the lead to Will Arnett. He plays Alex Novak, who, as the film begins, is starting the process of divorce from his wife of 20 years, Tess (Laura Dern). Forced to move to a depressing apartment in New York City and only getting limited time with his two kids, Alex finds the unexpected outlet of stand up comedy when he signs up for open mic night at the famous Comedy Cellar.

The film follows Alex as he continues to pursue comedy while still having to see Tess on a regular basis, thanks to a shared custody agreement and get-togethers with friends like Balls and Christine (Cooper and Andra Day) and Stephen and Geoffrey (real life couple Sean Hayes and Scott Icenogle). While the comedy serves as a form of counseling for Alex, truly moving on proves more difficult than expected.

The film, co-written by Cooper with Arnett and Mark Chappell, is loosely based on the real-life story of British comedian John Bishop, so one of the biggest things they needed to get right was the comedy itself. Alex’s marital situation lends his comedy more of a confessional style than actual jokes, and his evolution in that space is done well. Shooting in the actual Comedy Cellar and populating the club with real comedians like Amy Sedaris, Jordan Jensen, Reggie Conquest, and more gives those scenes an extra dose of realism.

As if to underscore the personal and emotional nature of the story, Cooper and cinematographer Matthew Libatique make liberal use of closeups with handheld cameras. The camera is constantly moving around and often seems to be right in the actors’ faces, something that is most noticeable when Alex is performing. As if the stories Alex was telling weren’t intimate enough, having Arnett's entire face fill the frame forces the audience to pay attention to what his character is saying.

If there is something to knock about the film, it’s a lack of dramatic stakes. While there’s natural tension between Alex and Tess due to the divorce, it’s way less than in a movie like, say, Marriage Story. There’s also a sneaking suspicion that Cooper was just looking to have fun with the film, casting himself as the comic sidekick and working with good friends like Arnett and Hayes. If ever there was a good hang divorce movie, this is it.

Arnett rarely gets to be in movies, much less as the lead, but he ably embodies this somewhat dramatic part. It helps that he’s given a great scene partner like Dern, who knows when to dial her acting up or down for a particular situation. Cooper and Day are also good despite their story being slightly superfluous, and Christine Ebersole and Ciarán Hinds as Alex’s parents lend the film some extra gravitas.

Is This Thing On? is a much different type of film from Cooper’s first two directorial efforts, A Star is Born and Maestro, and it’s nice to see the filmmaker offer something new. It has a relatable story for anyone who has ever been married while offering an element of uniqueness with someone discovering an undiscovered skill late in life.

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Is This Thing On? opens wide in theaters on January 9.