In its 11 seasons, American Idol’s dropped by the Lone Star State a whopping nine times, including the Dallas cattle call that propelled the show to fame. But its recent stop in Houston (shown Thursday night) proved a little less successful — a mixed bag of sorts.

In a nod to Space City, Commander Dan C. Burbank “launched” the episode more than 250 miles above Earth, and with that, we were off with the good, the bad and the intolerable.

The episode felt oddly vintage in some ways, like a throwback to circa Season Three when ridiculously delusional people with bad accents were a novelty. See first contestant Phong Vu, a 25-year-old Houston-native who says it’s “phenomenon” to be able to audition.

He delivers a painful “Unbreak My Heart” with even more painful conviction, and then tries to woo the judges with his “iconic moves.” Dear Nigel: This is 2012. Let’s move on.

The jab at Houston proceeds with a string of similar auditions, from flamboyant renditions of “My Prerogative” and “I’m So Excited,” to wannabe Josh Turner Scotty McCreery covers of “Just to be Your Man.”

But then, enter Skyler Laine, a country girl who shoots deer and whose adorable family owns a hole-in-the-wall restaurant in downtown Mississippi. Before she sings a single note, I write in my notes: “Looks and sounds like Miranda Lambert.” And alas, the 17-year-old whips out “Hell On Heels” by Lambert’s side project, The Pistol Annies (if you don’t have their album, run, don’t walk, to get it).

She’s got flair, chops and authenticity, and with my favorite audition thus far, the judges send her through. Sadly, she ain’t from Texas.

Thankfully, the next contestant is from Texas, 21-year-old Baylie Brown.Idol aficionados will remember her from Season Six, when she was infamously ousted during group round, thanks to memory loss and a clash with two Jersey girls. Simon Cowell told the 16-year-old in her initial audition that her voice would be great in two or three years, and he might be right.

She auditions with more maturity and control this time, wrapping her country-ish voice around Bon Jovi’s “Bed of Roses.” To Hollywood she goes.

So does 28-year-old Kristine Osorio, a hard working soon-to-be single mom who traded in her divorce lawyer cash for a plane ticket from Amarillo to the Idol audition. She sings my favorite Adele song, “One and Only,” with grit and believability, and I can’t wait to hear how her husky tone transforms other songs.

Idol then treats us to a tangible reminder of the disparity between Jennifer Lopez’s worth as a judge and “the others.’’ Much to her dismay, the boys turn down three worthy contenders and shoo in Linda Williams from League City, whose sloppy version of “Fallin’” can’t touch the previous three auditions.

“I honestly feel like somebody slipped you something,“ Jennifer tells Randy, before launching into indignant backlash. Get it, girl.

Alajandro Cazeres “The Revolution” then takes us back to Season Three with another awkwardly bad audition. The Houstonite babbles on about wanting to live in a world where Lady Gaga sells platinum records and Barack Obama is president — further proof he was plucked straight from 2004.

When the judges tell him no, he gets on his knees and argues that he’s “heard worse" . . . and he’s quickly escorted out by a security guard.

And finally, with Jennifer's abs and a few other Season Three-esque auditions sprinkled in between, two memorable contestants knock on Idol’s door. The first is Cortez Shaw, a warehouse worker and college student from Garland who’s been through tough times with his single-parent family.

“American Idol is opportunity at its greatest,” he says, and the idealist inside of me agrees. He spins Adele’s “Someone Like You” into an upbeat ditty, and I kind of dig his note choices. What I don’t dig is his claim that Randy’s his favorite judge — dude, seriously? — but for that I will have to forgive him.

The night ends with Ramiro Garcia, a Lakewood Church worship leader born without ears. Though his parents were told he’d never speak or hear, several surgeries later he’s auditioning with a serviceable if not remarkable take on “Amazing Grace.” There’s sheer passion in his delivery, and his dad notes in broken English that he “Sings on another level — different to this world.”

It’s a touching way to close out Idol’s visit to Space City.

All in all, 56 contestants from the Houston audition will battle it out during Hollywood Week. Sound off on your favorites below.

Quote of the Night

“Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things.”

- Steven Tyler, for reals.

Get more of Tara Seetharam's pop culture musings on her website TaraSeetharam.com and follow her on Twitter @TaraAshley.