It's winter, it's not cold outside, and Houstonians are irate
Hooray for the first day of winter! Called by its given name, the winter solstice marks both the shortest day and longest night of the entire calendar year.
Does that sound enticing? It is! After all, who doesn't want to overindulge in your most bacchanalian and luxurious pastimes (imbibing and dozing, ahem) earlier and for longer, without any lasting repercussions? We know we're priming the wallet and plumping the pillows in anxious anticipation as we type.
Except you Houstonians are not pleased. Bless your hearts, but you can't help but complain.
It's December. You're peeling off the layers and donning tanks and flip flops. Temperatures are expected to reach 80 degrees (or above!) this Tuesday. We even recommended busting out the bathing suits. Inflate the kiddie pool, and by golly, we're all set for beach blanket bingo.
And somehow, you're still unhappy. Is there no pleasing you, people?
You simply aren't mollified by the materialization of this frighteningly perfect day. And you, of course, took to Twitter to vent your frustrations with the storybook-worthy weather.
The Most Observant Tweets in Houston About Winter
@know_pow: This is the time of year in Houston when your closet needs to be twice as big to hold both your summer and winter clothes.
Give this woman a book deal. Or, at the very least, a blog with a custom URL.
@KHil: I'm sorry, can we talk about why it is EIGHTY FUCKING DEGREES today?
Sure, let's talk. You see, warm, moist air is passing over cool coastal waters, bringing with it ... um, days full of awesome and clouds full of sugar? What do you want from us, woman? By god, we're not meteorologists! AND WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT US?
@baddrawings: What a beautiful summer day we are having here in Houston!
Look at that. A Houstonian with a firm grip on the reality of her circumstances. Damn the Earth's axial tilt! Way to call it like you see it, kid.
@LucieD_inthesky: OMG it is 80 degrees today. I may have to put on shorts this afternoon. #WinterinHouston
Shorts, a skirt, a kilt — we're not overly concerned as to what you put on your bottom half, as long as there's something covering up the family jewels. However, if there was any doubt in your mind, wearing UGGs today would most certainly qualify as premature booting. Don't go breaking any laws, please.
@accessorywhore: It's 80 degrees here today and I am NOT ready for resort wear. #bringbackwinterNOW
Friend, we'd like to introduce you to the Galleria. It has a lot of nice stores. With, you know, clothes and things. For purchase. Especially in cases of inclement weather, such as what we are currently experiencing today.
@KHONS: Don't freak out peoples. The low for Sunday morning is 34 degs.
You're right. Sunshine and a light breeze cause us to lose our cool every time. It never fails! Thank goodness near-freezing temperatures are on their way, or we'd have to kill the patio plants off ourselves.
@jatorres: Who complains about another chance to lounge by the pool?
You might want to have your eyes checked, son. Have you been reading this article at all?
@sarahEmagee: 80 degrees? Oh TX, you're so silly.
Like a billy goat.
Yes, you really did just waste your time on an entire article about the weather. Now invest a little. Tell us what you think of the inaugural day of winter in Houston — the good, the bad, and the horribly sunny.