If you tell me you're working today, I will call you a liar. And I won't feel bad about slapping you with that label in the least.

You know why?

Because the biggest online shopping day of the year, Cyber Monday, is upon us — presumably because everyone's back at the grind after the Thanksgiving holiday but no one's actually working. What was once the brainchild of marketing mavens has, at long last, manifested itself in the form of cyber mania.

After all, you can't help it that you woke up this morning with no less than a dozen emails screaming DEAL! DEAL! DEAL! at you. No one can blame you for feeling compelled to pull out your plastic while you surf the web for products you never knew you needed.

It's like Black Friday never ended! Oh, wait. Did it?

Don't bother revolting. You're an American consumer. Resistance is futile.

Of course, I know you're checking Amazon, Black Friday Ads, Buy.com, and Best Buy like it's your job for anything you might've missed (while client email fills your inbox with glee). But why don't you take a walk on the wild side and see what else you can uncover?

You won't even have to pepper spray your monitor to make out with some good buys. Guaranteed.

Gizmodo is (really, really, really) thorough
Yup, the gadget gurus you've come to know and love gotcha covered. They've done the legwork so you don't have to tire out your index finger with all that clicking between that sexy Olympus camera and the retro-hot Fujifilm camera on 10 different websites. And their directory is searchable. You're welcome.

Feed your cyber shopping addiction with tweets
Want to be updated all day long with a steady stream of things you probably can live without? Turn to the Twitter — @CyberMondayFans (or #CyberMonday diehards) to the rescue!

A toothbrush and whitening strips? Build-A-Bear? Oh, fine.

Go airborne
What's better than the gift of travel? Nothing. And because of that, airlines like Southwest and American are sliding into the Cyber Monday ring with savings, too.

And why not? Most people buy plane tickets online. It only makes sense.

Shake it up
When was the last time you bought anything from the National Geographic store? When you think of Cyber Monday, do you think of LivingSocial?

Time to go outside the box — by thinking beyond big box.

Deep discounts get even deeper
Online retailers like Department of Goods and Sierra Trading Post are already economical, right? Well, Cyber Monday makes these stores' prices so inexpensive, you might as well steal their wares. But don't tell them I sent you.

It is what you make of it
If you want it to be Cyber Sex Monday, go right ahead.

Remember the little guys
Ever heard of a few sites by the name of Craigslist, eBay, Woot, Passwird, and Steep and Cheap? They've only been around for, oh, you know, years and years.

Moral of the story: The sites you turn to in times of low paychecks are also the sites where every day is Cyber Monday. Don't forsake them.

Shopping local is always a bargain
No shipping, no delivery time, and a feel-good connection with the creative genius behind the product. When in doubt, venture out from behind the computer into your community with holiday cash in hand.

You'll make it in the real world. Promise.