The IKEA Challenge
Office bribes, competitive jive & the mysterious James mark the IKEA assembly
When we last left you we were drawing straws for which CultureMapper had to assemble the most difficult furniture for our CultureLounge. With 18 pieces of furniture provided by IKEA Houston, we had a mere 30 days (now down to a week) to transform our oddly-shaped back room into something chic but comfortable — equally suited for brainstorming and entertaining.
Our team is nothing if not ingenious, and what began as a friendly office-wide task fast became a hot competition. As personal-best assembly times began being posted on the office wall, methods to win became more and more sketchtastic. Cheating was rampant.
Shelby Hodge immediately bribed our intern. (Intern Jennifer Patterson refused my suggestion to assemble Shelby's assigned dining chair only in exchange for an Hermes scarf). Outsiders were called in, favors redeemed. A mysterious stranger appeared — who I later found out was local architect James Glassman — to assemble one of our tricky little side tables. He was all right by us before we were ever introduced; if you're useful, you're welcome to stay around these parts.
The winners were unexpected. Sales exec Meredith Riddle had no sooner written "just try to beat me, suckahs" (her spelling) beneath her 10-minute dining chair assembly time than her colleague — and relative CultureMap newbie — Marielle Johnson, perhaps the primmest of our office, came out of left field to win, assembling not one, but two white leather armchairs in record time.
Associate editor Sarah Rufca (who is a Rice graduate and don't-you-forget-it) struggled with her barstool; new hire and craft-happy Carolina Astrain took twice as long as anyone else to assemble her dining chair; and there were those, all not-so-handy men, who left their assembly assignments entirely to more able, daintier hands. Not that we're naming names (CEO Stephen Newman, VP of sales Chad Miller, managing editor Chris Baldwin ...)
Ultimately it was all in good fun and, against all odds, all 18 pieces were successfully put together before the whistle blew on Friday afternoon. How we did it, we don't know. We think it must have been the adrenaline, or maybe a Shipley's sugar high.
Next up on Thursday: Professional home stager Valerie Splaine drops in to help us Get. It. Together. (She helped arrange the furniture, too.)
Other articles in the IKEA Challenge series:
Creating a lounge in 30 days without killing each other
Sizing up the room specs, spots for the Shelby Hodge statue & kissing booth
The meddling begins: Our room makeover designers face opposition in the office
The room makeover duo hits the store and encounters a velvet divide
Paisley, accents & corkboard — design ideals from a flower child sorority girl hit the CultureLounge
Mastering the "Steven Aesthetic": Clean lines and objets trouvés for the CultureLounge
How long does it take two healthy, young adults to assemble IKEA furniture?
Is that IKEA furniture or a Rubik's Cube?
The mystery of the S-wrench and Swedish directions: Assembling our IKEA furniture