This Week in Hating

Houston, you can't drive: From falling chairs to dizzy blondes, our roads are ahorror show

Damage caused last December on Kirby. Cause? Blonde attack.
Photo by Jeremy C. Little
Damage caused recently by jackanapes in Central Market parking lot.
Photo by Jeremy C. Little
Damage caused by highway furniture.
Photo by Jeremy C. Little
You don't want to see one of these coming at you when you're driving.

I am not a Texan. Anyone who’s ever heard me utter a single syllable in my unmistakable Western Massachusetts whine knows this. I love Houstonians, though. Well, I love you for the most part.

Over the past 11 months I have decided that you — citizens of Greater Houston — are the worst effin’ motorists on God’s green earth. This is coming from a New Englander, mind you. We’re supposed to be the country’s worst drivers.

I spent the better part of a decade traveling among the six New England states through rain, sleet and snow without a single nick in the paint courtesy of another motorist. We’re intimidating and inconsiderate, but at least we pay attention. This summer I drove from Houston to Vermont and back passing through 21 states in the process without incident.

Since last December, my car has been to the body shop three times thanks to negligent Houston drivers.

By the grace of God I haven’t been injured, but it’s an incredible nuisance and you people are costing the insurance industry a fortune.

Here’s the breakdown:

TRIP 1: Dizzy blond tries to cross all six lanes of Kirby. I’m in the last lane. Car only had 6,000 miles on it at the time. Took six weeks to repair.
PRICE TAG: $6,400

TRIP 2: Some a-hole knocks off my rear bumper in a Valero parking lot while I was in the convenience store and leaves the scene. No witnesses. This is loudest I’ve ever cursed in public. Took two weeks to repair.
PRICE TAG: $1,600

TRIP 3: A spacey schmuck backs his Lexus SUV into the side of my car in the Central Market parking lot AND a chair falls out of the back of some jerkass’ pickup truck on I-10, hits another person’s car, bounces off the guard rail and then gashes my passenger door (these two events transpired within 36 hours of each other). This is the loudest I’ve ever cursed. Period.
PRICE TAG: TBD

I’m seriously considering covering the entire car in bubble wrap. You’ve got no excuse for this, Houston. You have no public transportation and never walk anywhere. It’s not like you don’t have plenty of practice.

Understand this, when your car is damaged by another person and requires repair work, it effectively voids your warranty on whichever end of the car is damaged. You’re permanently married to whatever body shop does the work. The Russell & Smith Collision Center down by Reliant is the only body shop that can ever touch my car again.

I am not a negative person, Houston. I’m a committed optimist, almost to a fault in fact. I love my mother, believe in God, bend over backwards for my friends, and even wish good things for all of my ex-girlfriends (even if a couple of them don’t deserve it). Why you hate my car so much, Houston, I can’t begin to explain. I keep telling everyone who will listen how great you and this city are. All I ask in return is that you stop ramming me.

If you’re reading this, I have a request: if you’re driving along and see a gray Ford Fusion Hybrid, please, for the love of God, stay the hell away from me.

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Stretching the budget

A $100,000 salary in 2026 goes further in Houston than it did last year

Photo by Leo Yao on Unsplash

$100,000 stretches a little further in 2026.

A 2026 income study has good news for big earners in Houston: A six-figure salary goes further than it did last year.

A Houston resident's $100,000 salary is worth $84,840 after taxes and adjusted for the local cost of living, according to the new financial analysis from SmartAsset. That's about $1,500 more than Houstonians were bringing home last year.

The 2026 take-home pay is about eight percent higher than it was in 2024, when the same salary had an adjusted value of $78,089.

SmartAsset used its paycheck calculator to apply federal, state and local taxes to an annual salary of $100,000 in 69 of the largest American cities. The figure was then adjusted for the local cost of living (which included average costs for housing, groceries, utilities, transportation, and miscellaneous goods and services). Cities were then ranked based on where a six-figure salary is worth the least after applicable taxes and cost of living adjustments.

Houston ranked No. 60 in the overall ranking of U.S. cities where $100,000 is worth the least. If the rankings were flipped and the cities were ranked based on where $100,000 goes the furthest, that places Houston in the No. 10 spot nationwide.

Manhattan, New York remains the No. 1 city where a six-figure salary is worth the least. A Manhattan resident's take-home pay is only worth $29,420 after taxes and adjusted for the cost of living, which is 3.10 percent lower than it was in 2025.

SmartAsset determined Manhattan has a 29.7 percent effective tax rate on six-figure salaries. Meanwhile, the effective tax rate on a $100,000 salary in Texas (based on the eight cities examined in the report) is 21.1 percent. It's worth highlighting that New York implements a statewide graduated-rate income tax from 4-10.90 percent, whereas Texas is one of only eight states that don't tax residents' income.

Oklahoma City, No. 69, is the U.S. city in the report where a $100,000 salary stretches the furthest. A six-figure salary is worth $91,868 in 2026, up from $89,989 last year.

This is the post-tax value of a $100,000 salary in other Texas cities, and their ranking in the report:

Plano (No. 27): $72,653
Dallas (No. 47): $80,103
Austin (No. 53): $82,446
Lubbock (No. 59): $84,567
San Antonio (No. 62): $86,419
El Paso (No. 67): $90,276
Corpus Christi (No. 68): $91,110

According to the report, getting some "financial breathing room" by making six-figures really depends on where someone lives and what their lifestyle is. For residents living in the 42 states that levy some amount of income tax, their take-home pay dwindles further.

"And depending on how taxes are filed, reaching a $100,000 income may push a household from the 22 percent to 24 percent marginal tax bracket," the report's author wrote. "Meanwhile, locations with high costs across housing and everyday essentials may be less forgiving to a $100,000 income."

smartasset income finance six figures