You know it’s getting bad when you can’t remember the last time you’ve completed an entire day’s to-do list, or when your “MUST DO THIS TODAY” stickie becomes prioritized, where highlighted items mean “but, like, seriously.”

When the demands of your day increase but the hours don’t, you’ve got to take refuge in some alternative means of stress relief.

It’s a nice thought and all to get some extra shut-eye, but we all know that you’re not going to bypass happy hour to take a little nipper. (I find that alcohol-assisted slumber is deeper, anyway, so it’s basically a wash — and I don’t care if science disagrees).

And so, six stress relievers for the seriously strung out:

Tattooing — People tell me it’s great. And by people I mean our food writer, Sarah Rufca, who got one yesterday with my supervision after we tried the happy hour remedy and found it lacking. And although I can’t say from tattooed experience, I will say I felt much better after watching her writhe. If you’re a corporate type, remember — there’s always white ink.

Sensory Deprivation (you know, if you have a chamber) — If any brand of drug-induced relaxation is your thing, this is a job-friendly substitute. You basically float in a lukewarm pool in a soundproof, lightproof room playing music I can only assume was produced in Tibet until you have no idea where your limbs are, whether you’re spinning or if you’re even awake. As with those who shy from an MRI, perhaps ya’ll had best just enjoy a spritzer.

Hot NOT Yoga — A number of friends advised that I include Bikram Yoga on this list, and due to its apparent popularity I feel it my duty to seize this opportunity to debunk this ludicrous exercise. Yoga is the singularly most fucking frustrating practice I’ve ever been talked into.

If you want to get stressed just so you can relieve it, do Bikram Yoga (where you’ll fall down — sometimes on your face, wonder when you get to move and cringe at the oppressive odors of those around you) and then kickbox.

Schedule an MRI – Since having an MRI can be indicative of a major health problem or serious injury, no one will question you. (They also might think you’re dying, and that usually makes people a little nicer). Unless you’re claustrophobic (pansy), just think of it as your own personal nap-pod.

Beer Shower – A long, meticulous shower is a no-brainer for stress relief. Close the door, up the steam, sit on your little teak stool and use up all the hot water. This little ritual is only made better by combining it with the other fool-proof stress reliever: Beer. (Or wine, if you think you’re fancy, but it has to be cold).

The temperature contrast is delicious (think hot-tubbing it when it’s snowing out), the effects are accelerated and they make a shower accessory for this precise purpose, which means it’s totally legitimate.

Cry – Just let it all out. Make that particularly ugly, contorted face when you do it, too, or it doesn’t work as well. This method is best executed non-discreetly, preferably in your office or in direct view of your stressor.

You’ll feel a release, and, unless they’re Beelzebub’s spawn, they’ll tread oh-so-carefully around you for the rest of the day.