Going back to school can be as demoralizing as SMU's 1989 football season—the first year it tried to come back from the dead. It’s enough to take you from a spirited “Ready, break!” to “spirit already broken” in no time flat.

But don’t be intimidated. There’s another equally intense phenomenon that’s about to kick off that we can look to for instruction on how not to get blindsided by the onslaught. It’s called football. And as it turns out, stealing a few ideas from the football playbook can make tackling back-to-school seem almost as easy as a game of powder puff.

Huddle up

Your family is about to encounter its biggest challenge in months. Going back to school can obliterate the winning streak of goodwill and camaraderie that your family has enjoyed all summer, replacing it with incidents of unnecessary roughness and Friday night fights. Your ability to navigate this transition and come out victorious requires preparation and training. The first step is to call everyone together for a Team Family Harmony meeting.

Size up your opponent

​Family Harmony’s biggest rival is the Dysfunctional Meltdowns. The Meltdowns are a formidable opponent with a win-loss record that rivals Katy High School's. But just as Abilene proved in the 2009 state championship and Pearland proved last year in the state quarterfinals, the behemoth doesn’t always win. In order to win, however, you’re going to have to keep your head in the game.

There are two times each day when Family Harmony is most vulnerable: before school and after school. (Basically, any time you’re at home and you’re not asleep.) Talk through everything that needs to happen during those two critical periods and make two master lists of these tasks — one for each period.

Come up with a game plan

If you want to keep chaos to a minimum, winging it is not an option. Take the master lists, assign each item to a specific person, and work out a time by which each task needs to be completed. (What: Let the dog out. Who: Kyle. When: By 7:30 a.m.) Below are some examples of patterns to plan for:

The first half (aka before school):

• Does everyone pack his own lunch, or is making lunch a coordinated effort with one person making all the sandwiches, while someone else gets the fruit and water bottles together?
• How is breakfast handled? Does Dad cook breakfast while the kids get the drinks and set the table? Or is breakfast an “on your own” experience? Think this through beforehand so breakfast doesn’t turn into a blood sport.
• Is everyone responsible for bussing her own dishes? You don’t want confusion over bussing to cause your kids to miss the actual bus.

The second half (aka after school):

• Should homework be completed before dinner or is after dinner okay? Or do the rules need to vary from kid to kid, based on differences in style or after school commitments?
• What about household chores? Put someone in charge of loading or emptying the dishwasher, while someone else folds a load of clothes.
• Can older kids get dinner started before Mom or Dad gets home by making a salad or preheating the oven?

Have each kid make two lists (one for before school, one for after school) of the items he is personally responsible for, and put those lists where he will be sure to see them (like tacked up beside his bedroom door). A plan gives your family a framework for getting through the hectic periods of your day. And it’s way better than a scramble play where everyone waits for you to start yelling before they get their hustle on.

Play like a team

The goal isn’t for everyone to do the same thing at the same time; it’s to have a basic routine specific to your family that everyone helped to develop. When your kids have input on creating the game plan, they are more likely to be invested in seeing that it actually works. And even when people are off working on their own special skills (Chelsea is at soccer, Kyle is at play rehearsal, Mom is at work and Dad is at the grocery store), the plan gives everyone a general idea of what everyone else is up to. Knowing who’s doing what creates a feeling of cohesiveness even when actual togetherness is not possible.

Make adjustments

Don’t be so attached to your plan that you force everyone to stick to it even when it isn’t working. Be open to making changes if things aren’t going smoothly.

Expect the unexpected

No matter how well you prepare, fumbles sometimes happen. Whether it’s discovering that the milk is sour when everyone was all set to have cereal, or running out of hot water before everyone has hit the showers, when things go wrong, rather than throwing punches, be ready to roll with them. Your job is to help everyone to shake off the flub and be ready to execute the next play.

Mix it up

One of the best things about school is you get to learn new things. Don’t like one of your classes? Before you know it, the semester will be over and you’ll get to sign up for something else. Similarly, if your family is getting burned out on the current plays, change them up. Kyle’s sick of making lunch for everyone? Maybe it’s time for him to make the proverbial donuts while you take over as the sandwich artist.

Don’t leave your sense of humor in the locker room.

Humor makes any tough experience easier to get through, and your attitude can set the tone for the whole team. Want the vibe at home to be upbeat? Then don’t be Debbie Downer. Do your best to stay in a good mood while everyone is working through their drills. Don’t constantly nag at your kids for what they’re not doing. (“Chelsea! You didn’t feed your cat AGAIN! You are so irresponsible!”) Instead, give your kids props for what they get right, then remind them of what they’re overlooking—but spare everyone the lecture, especially when it’s crunch time. (“The sandwiches are done already? Good job, Chelsea. Oh—Fluffy still needs to be fed.”) When the pressure is off you can review the game film with your kids—either together or individually—and strategize about what needs tweaking. It’s always easier to give and receive constructive criticism when you’re not under the gun (and it’s not 6:45 on a weekday morning).

You’re a coach, not an army of one

A common mistake that parents often make is trying to micromanage the game. You can be a great coach, but you can’t be a great coach and play every position, too, all at the same time. Not only should you let each member of your team do her part, you should insist upon it. That way the entire family owns each victory.

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Now that we’ve mapped out an overall strategy, it’s up to you to call a team meeting and get training camp underway.With a good game plan, the right attitude and a little flexibility, your family will play like a champion every day. And when Family Harmony shuts out the Dysfunctional Meltdowns there’s no penalty for excessive celebration.