technology put to the test
Is the iPhone really a sex machine?
Aug 12, 2010 | 3:19 pm
According to a recent OK Cupid survey, IPhone users have more sexual partners than BlackBerry or Android owners. Now that it's established that we have "statistical proof that iPhone users aren't just getting screwed by Apple," it's time to consider just how accurate this study is. We've put our heads together and realized that it's perfectly logical that iPhonies get it on in greater numbers.
Reasons iPhone users have more sex than BlackBerry victims, from a regretful BB owner (who refuses to get an iPhone because it would mean going with AT&T):
- It's way easier to take nudie pics of yourself and send them to your lover with an iPhone, thanks to the front camera. With a BlackBerry, you suffer from awkward forearm, and your face is nearly always obscured by the phone. Although for some people (not me though) maybe that's a plus.
- Most BlackBerry users are old PC-devotee businessmen who are unlikely to self-report on their covert affairs.
- Maybe if my POS, fritz-prone BlackBerry gave me less headaches, I'd have more sex.
- The rolly-ball cursor of the BlackBerry renders men undesiring of actual clitoral contact.
Reasons iPhone users have more sex, from an iPhone owner:
- In general, iPhone users are savvier than the average BB bum, meaning they're twice as likely to sneak their way into the sack.
- The special slide lock trains the index finger to stroke consistently, with a specific pressure that translates well to genitalia.
- Although it pertains to a specific audience, the Grindr app brings a whole new meaning to easy access. With this downloadable gaydar, it's not surprising that GuysWithiPhones.com is such a smashing success (Warning: GuysWithiPhones.com may not be safe for work, or heterosexual men).
- Because they're more likely to be obsessed with trends, iPhone users are also inclined to move from one sexual partner to another. BlackBerry owners may very well have more sex — just with fewer people (not me though).