I feel for Nate Montana, I really do.

I know what it's like to go to college in a tiny Midwestern town where instead of being thankful for the low crime rate, the cops get bored and arrest college kids for drinking in dramatic fashion.

Maybe it's The Wire's fault. Maybe it's just not satisfying anymore to enjoy a donut between teaching kids about stranger danger and assisting little old ladies at the crosswalk.

If you're not busting people in some kind of podunk sting operation these days, you're not worth your badge.

Montana, a Notre Dame backup quarterback and the son of NFL Hall of Famer Joe Montana, got arrested Friday night near Notre Dame's campus in South Bend, Ind., along with 44 other kids for the cringe-worthy crime of underage drinking.

"That must have been a hellas disruptive party," you might think. It might've been (and you do use "hellas" in your internal monologue); I wasn't there. But reading about Nate's unfortunate luck gave me flashbacks to my own freshman year arrest at the University of Missouri-Columbia, and I'm squarely on Team Drunks.

It was a similar situation. It must've been a slow night, because the Columbia Police Department decided to lock the doors of one of 9th Street's most popular bars and card its patrons at random. I was in the ladies room (THE BATHROOM!) when I was approached by a (female) officer and asked for ID. I told her I was 19 and found myself in handcuffs, being paraded outside with a dozen other people, before I was able to process what was happening.

I'll assume there were no drunk drivers in Columbia that night, or in South Bend on Friday, either. No young women being accosted by boozedly brazen young men, either. Nope. Us kids must've been the most dangerous things out that night, what with our unreliable balance, our propensity for being overly affectionate and our voracious appetites. Somebody had to serve and protect the pizza.

At least I didn't have to go to jail — my arrest was apparently solely for show. Nate Montana and company had to spend the night in the drunk tank, and that experience I don't mind missing out on.